Mrs. Daniel 1 child; California 547 posts5th Jan '13
I don't know your child, and I wasn't trying to say that his spirit is broken. I was talking about what the effects of punishment are. When you label your child good or bad, they believe you because children form beliefs about everything they experience. I have applied these techniques in the real world. I've worked with children for years, some which people would label as having behaioral problems. I wouldn't advocate for anything that I didn't believe worked. I wasn't trying to be judgemental. I was sharing what research and child development experts have proved to be true. It sounds like you are using some of the techniques I was talking about. I just don't believe in telling a child that they are being bad just because they aren't pleasing me. The concepts I am taking about focus on children feeling good about themselves because of themselves, and not because we are rewarding them. I'm not trying to put dowm individuals. I was only trying to offer the other side of the help that was being offered. I think parents deserve to think about the cognitive process of dicipline. What children are feeling, thinking and deciding. I only relate those things to us as adults because to teach empathy we must model empathy.
Red Bottom 1 child; Middelfart, Denmark 14494 posts5th Jan '13
Quoting Trisa Daniel:" I don't know your child, and I wasn't trying to say that his spirit is broken. I was talking about what ... [snip!] ... are feeling, thinking and deciding. I only relate those things to us as adults because to teach empathy we must model empathy."
And there are experts who have proven that punishment is effective as well.