user banned (boy); 2 kids; f**king, Austria 36337 posts
Jan 11th '13

The whole situation is just shitty. Is this LD chick being abused? :(

Drunk Blair Waldorf 2 kids; Alpharetta, Georgia 19630 posts
Jan 11th '13
Quoting ℳary ℐane:" The whole situation is just shitty. Is this LD chick being abused? :("


From what I know, verbally and emotionally, yes. It hasn't escalated to physical yet unless you count the walls in their house when he gets drunk.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
Jan 11th '13
Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" And as I ALSO said it was HOW she handled it. Not THAT she had to back out. "



You mean how she handled being controlled by her abusive husband and having to let down her friend who helped her out before, because her abusive husband doesn't like her friend, because she told her to leave him for being abusive.



How would you handle it? I'm sensing that you don't know very much about being in an abusive relationship.



Should she have said? Sorry, I'm still not leaving him, but my abusive husband hates you and will not let me help you, because you told me to leave him because he's abusive.



On top of that, as someone stated, you're automatically siding with the other party and assuming she was going to help monetarily and with physical labor, but the last another member checked, they were out of a job and had no means to provide what you said they had suggested.



So as I stated, a HUGE chunk of this story is missing.

homes cool Due July 25; 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Indiana 63165 posts
Jan 11th '13
Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" From what I know, verbally and emotionally, yes. It hasn't escalated to physical yet unless you count the walls in their house when he gets drunk."


:( That is very very sad. I can understand why you're angry, especially if things weren't handled very well afterwards and you've watched a friend feel hurt by all of this (it is normal to want to defend your friends)...but this is also incredibly sad, especially if her husband was the one who refused to allow her to help her friend out.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
Jan 11th '13
Quoting ♡Sarah Barah♡:" Hes definitely controlling based off her posts in k&s. I feel bad that her personal life was cast ... [snip!] ... tact. Hoot should have done the call out on this one, there are too many holes in the story that we shouldnt be privy too, IMO."


Agreed.



She being made out to be some monster, like she didn't want to help this girl and that she is making her friend out to be a freeloader.



When we now know that she has an abusive husband who doesn't like the girl in question, and last anyone knew, the girl in question/her husband were without a job....

user banned (boy); 2 kids; f**king, Austria 36337 posts
Jan 11th '13
Quoting ♡Sarah Barah♡:" Hes definitely controlling based off her posts in k&s. I feel bad that her personal life was cast ... [snip!] ... tact. Hoot should have done the call out on this one, there are too many holes in the story that we shouldnt be privy too, IMO."


Yeah, I agree.I don't even think Hoot should call her out on this though.



Definitely, something that should of been discussed in private.

Drunk Blair Waldorf 2 kids; Alpharetta, Georgia 19630 posts
Jan 11th '13
Quoting Amαndα ♕:" I feel like if one of my BG friends was going through that I'd offer instantly, like an instinct you ... [snip!] ... "No, soandso can't live here for however long.." What would I do? Like sneak them in and hide them under my bed? He has a say. "


Oh yeah I totally get that he has a say. I just don't think it was right of her to make Sarah out to be a freeloader instead of just explaining why she had to back out. THAT is what I'm angry about.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
Jan 11th '13
Quoting Amαndα ♕:" I feel like if one of my BG friends was going through that I'd offer instantly, like an instinct you ... [snip!] ... "No, soandso can't live here for however long.." What would I do? Like sneak them in and hide them under my bed? He has a say. "


Exactly.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
Jan 11th '13
Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" Oh yeah I totally get that he has a say. I just don't think it was right of her to make Sarah out to be a freeloader instead of just explaining why she had to back out. THAT is what I'm angry about."


I still haven't seen anywhere where she has made her out to be a freeloader....



But as you stated, her and her husband may not have any money, so it very well could be the case.



As many have stated, there are a lot of details that we don't know about this situation, but so far it looks like it's all pretty much self explanatory as to what probably happened.

Little_Discourage 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Kansas 31498 posts
Jan 11th '13

Okay, this is a lot for me to take in and I have a feeling that nothing I say is going to change anything... I'll try my best to explain as possible.



Sarah DOES live two hours from the hospital. She was transferred to Wichita (where I live) to be put on bed rest at the hospital during her pre-term labor. After she gave birth and told me they'd be keeping Emily in the NICU and discharging her, I offered her a place to stay. She told me she would figure something out because she understands a lot of the stress I've been going through. She ended up staying at the Ronald McDonald house roughly 6 minutes from the hospital Emily is at. And that's where she's been the duration of Emily's stay.



Up until about a week or two ago, everything was fine. My husband JUST got out of the military in early October and left immediately to go to Texas to work. In the line of work he's in, they always lay off in Nov/Dec because everyone likes to go home for the holidays. We had brand new bills to take care of that we didn't have before because we now had to pay health insurance out of pocket, as well as our home (no more BAH). So we had one month to save up over $3,500 in bills to make it until his next job that just started two days ago. Well, that money didn't last us because I stupidly miscalculated some things, and with the holidays we kind of ran out quickly. We were also depending on unemployment to get us by and that got completely screwed up and we ended up having to wait three weeks of my husband's time home to file and for us to even get someone on the phone. We haven't paid ANY of our bills this month. We are about $2,000 behind, as embarrassing as that is to admit. We are hoping to be caught back up by the end of this month.




I feel "called out", obviously, but I guess I'll just go ahead and tell everyone my business since it's already been put out there for me. I have Paragard and recently had a miscarriage. I've had a lot of problems with it since and am waiting until we have money for me to go see the doctor and figure out what is going on. For some reason my depression has spiked up reallllly badly. I've had problems with depression since I was raped at 13. I had MAJOR PPD after my second son was born October 2011. I don't know what exactly is causing my PPD right now other than possibly just poor health, financial strain, and major life changes. I suppose anyone in K&S that pays attention has seen my vents.



My husband does struggle with alcoholism and has for a couple years now. He has never laid a hand on me. He has gotten extremely drunk and punched holes in the wall and broken a lamp. This was over the summer when his drinking spiked horribly. Since then he's been working incredibly hard on himself and has actually done amazingly well. I really think that getting out of the military has changed him for the better, also. If at any time I felt like myself or my children were in danger, I would leave immediately.



When my first son was about 4 or 5 months old, my husband deployed for the second time. Sarah asked me to come stay with her and meet her in person for the first time. My son, my two dogs, and I went up and stayed with them for three days. That was the first time we met in person.



I never publicly said anything about Sarah or made her out to seem like a freeloader. I had no idea what their financial situation was. I simply told her that we wouldn't be able to afford groceries for everyone right now. Until my husband gets his first paycheck, we're basically living off of Ramen noodles and PB&J. I didn't want them to get here and not have anything, since the RMH completely provides all of their food, amenities, etc. It's free for them. With her husband not having a job, I didn't know they would be offering to help with utilities or anything like that. I didn't ASK. I simply just stated that those were concerns that my husband and I had.



If everyone would like, and if it won't upset Sarah, I can post our FB conversation. I just don't know if at this point it will do any good, as I already look like a "c**t". I did what my husband and I felt would be best for us. If Sarah and her family really were commuting four hours every time they wanted to see Emily, I without a doubt would have done something. But I feel in my heart they are better off at the RMH house where everything is free. I feel horrible that they don't get along with one of the families there, but I also feel like that problem could be solved simply by having a conversation with that family. She's also upset because one of the workers there overheard her husband threaten to spank her son's ass. They told them they would have to ask them to leave if they heard anything like that again. So she's upset about the lack of privacy. I don't know...



As for my husband seeing remarks Sarah had made about his drinking, I really don't know what she is talking about. I posted a video over the summer of Steven making a mess with food while he was drunk one time on FB. Her and SEVERAL other friends commented talking about his drinking, making jokes, and just general "he needs to get some help" stuff. He never even knew what was said. I didn't hide it from him, he just NEVER gets on FB. So, that has nothing to do with his dislike of Sarah. If that were the case, he wouldn't like any of my other friends...



I've explained everything to her and I've apologized numerous times.

user banned (boy); 2 kids; f**king, Austria 36337 posts
Jan 11th '13
Quoting Little_Discourage:" Okay, this is a lot for me to take in and I have a feeling that nothing I say is going to change anything... ... [snip!] ... the case, he wouldn't like any of my other friends... I've explained everything to her and I've apologized numerous times. "

You're not a c**t.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
Jan 11th '13
Quoting Little_Discourage:" Okay, this is a lot for me to take in and I have a feeling that nothing I say is going to change anything... ... [snip!] ... the case, he wouldn't like any of my other friends... I've explained everything to her and I've apologized numerous times. "


I hope everyone feels like a douche for jumping on the "hate bandwagon" after seeing the ridiculous misinformed callout that was posted in here.



You have nothing to explain and I feel terrible for you that you felt like you just had to tell everyone about your financial problems and depression.



I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage and the struggles that you're going through in your home right now.



Hang in there, it will get better, and if it doesn't, you're a strong person and you have the strength and ability to make a better life for yourself and your children.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
Jan 11th '13

This is the second time I've wanted to call out the caller-out.... :?

homes cool Due July 25; 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Indiana 63165 posts
Jan 11th '13
Quoting Little_Discourage:" Okay, this is a lot for me to take in and I have a feeling that nothing I say is going to change anything... ... [snip!] ... the case, he wouldn't like any of my other friends... I've explained everything to her and I've apologized numerous times. "


I'm sorry. We had a really hard transition with my husband out of the military, that's a tough place to be.

user banned (boy); 2 kids; f**king, Austria 36337 posts
Jan 11th '13
Quoting Amαndα ♕:" In like the... month you've been here? Sketchy. "


:lol: