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Not having a baby shower... Kinda sad. our lil duckling 17 kids; Washington 11 posts
6th Jan '13

As much as I'd like to have a baby shower, I don't think I'll have one.
But my Mother has some anxiety about being around my in laws. This hurts my in laws feelings, I'm sure of it. My Dad won't argue with my Mother about it either. I have a younger sister who is developmentally delayed and my brother is only 19, so I wouldn't expect them to start it up. Alot of this anxiety has to do with my family not being financially stable and my in laws are well off. But I think everyone has different blessings, and I hope my Mom can feel better about it someday. Plus she lives 4 hours away, and my in laws live 2 hours away.
My sister in law may be moving away for her job, and another close friend of mine whose husband is in the military never knows when she'll be back here anyway. I have some other close friends but I would never ask anyone to throw it for me. Am I being selfish? Does this make sense?
It's sad because I think my husband and I could benefit from it, and I have some great ideas for it, like a girls and guys baby shower so my husband can participate too.

I'm His Amy He's My Rory 2 kids; Caldwell, Idaho 49254 posts
6th Jan '13

It can be disappointing yes. But it's not the end of the world. We never had one. Someone threw him a party when he was 3 months old though, that's still a bit different.

Colton's Mommy! Melly 1 child; Austin, TX, United States 418 posts
6th Jan '13

I didn't have one either due to family issues. It was a bit frustrating, but I did have a meet the baby party and both men and women were there.



I don't think it would be selfish to ask someone to throw you a baby shower, or even throw your own. Celebrate your baby in anyway you choose :)

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 22495 posts
status 6th Jan '13

I never had one. With my first I'm thankful since she passed away. With my second I was upset but I also was in the hospital for most of my pregnancy and she was in the NICU. So we had a meet the baby party once she came home

Stfu Squirrel District of Columbia 8554 posts
6th Jan '13

Maybe you could throw one of those "meet the baby" parties after it's born. It's not the same as a baby shower, but if nobody can do it then nobody can do it.



My mil decided not to come to my baby shower because my parents are financially more stable than she is and she was afraid they would "show her up." It's been over 4 years and it still annoys me. It was her first grandchild, too. :?



Your mom needs to get over it. Explain to her that it's about the excitement of bringing a new life into both your families and it isn't a contest about who gives the biggest presents. Your kid's life will be that much more awesome if your parents and your SO's parents get along and you can be one big happy family. It's about love, not money. Maybe your mom just needs a reminder.

user banned 2 kids; Georgia 24891 posts
6th Jan '13
Quoting Colton's Mommy 7/19/11:" I didn't have one either due to family issues. It was a bit frustrating, but I did have a meet the baby ... [snip!] ... would be selfish to ask someone to throw you a baby shower, or even throw your own. Celebrate your baby in anyway you choose :)"

Both of those are INCREDIBLY selfish and tacky as hell.

Maria + Cory = Alexis 17 kids; Middleport, Ohio 1075 posts
6th Jan '13

I threw a total of six showers between my two sisters. I have thrown many more showers for friends. So now that it is my turn I thought for sure I would get a shower. I was so excited. Here I am 36 weeks along and no one wants to take the time to throw me a shower. It really hurts my feelings that no one seems to care enough about me to take the time out of their lives to do something nice for me.



I decided since no one was throwing me a shower I would go out and buy everything she needed on my own, and I have. But it still doesn't take away the sting. :(

DifferentDay Due June 2; 34 kids; Tennessee 3473 posts
6th Jan '13

Sorry mama. We didn't have one with our 1st either. It wasn't that big of a deal to us. We had a lot of stuff. I was slightly bummed we couldn't get family n friends together though but lots lived outta state.

our lil duckling 17 kids; Washington 11 posts
6th Jan '13

What I would love is to have my two families together. My family doesn't have family- its just me and my parents and my two younger siblings. We have no uncles aunts g.parents and so forth. When I married my husband, I thought perhaps this is Gods way of bringing family to us, because my husbands family does not judge my family at all. But I know it hurts their feelings that my parents don't contact them. But I think they understand that nobody is perfect and everybody has problems. Oh well, you know? But what I want is for my baby to be able to enjoy his grand families equally, and I feel like he won't be able to. Anxiety is so hard to work with. I have tried talking to my Mom about it. But it doesn't work. And my Dad just says give her time, and I can tell he feels bad that he can't do more.

user banned 2 kids; Georgia 24891 posts
6th Jan '13
Quoting our lil duckling:" What I would love is to have my two families together. My family doesn't have family- its just me and ... [snip!] ... to my Mom about it. But it doesn't work. And my Dad just says give her time, and I can tell he feels bad that he can't do more."


Invite everyone over for dinner! You don't have to tell your mom, you invited the inlaws, just plan a nice dinner and it'll be a relaxed environment for them to get acquainted.

our lil duckling 17 kids; Washington 11 posts
6th Jan '13

omigawd... so, i tried it. for example, i used to do a lot of theatre. i was the LEAD in this show. I bought my family tickets for it and everything. who only shows up on my side of the family? my dad and my sister. my brother stayed home with my mom. apparently she had a rash on her face(she has major allergies) and she didnt want anyone to see. i get that, but no one is going to judge her for it! i had planned that maybe we could all go to dinner or something afterwards... but she didnt show up. it hurt my feelings because she missed my show, and secondly I knew it was because she wasnt ready to meet with them again. they havent seen eachother since our wedding August 2011. Its getting old, but its so hard battling someone with major Anxiety! And all I want to do is for my KID TO HAVE HIS SHOWER AND ENJOY HIS FAMILIES EQUALLY!

user banned 2 kids; Hamilton, Ontario 19220 posts
6th Jan '13

I think you should throw your own. I also have no idea how that is tacky.



If I were you I would do a meet the baby after baby is here....men and women.

Live-Laugh-Love 3 kids; Kitchener, ON, Canada 7864 posts
status 6th Jan '13
Quoting A❤T=P+[It's a Girl:" Invite everyone over for dinner! You don't have to tell your mom, you invited the inlaws, just plan a nice dinner and it'll be a relaxed environment for them to get acquainted."


That could make someone with anxiety feel extremely uncomfortable.

IslandMama03 Due March 5 (girl); 2 kids; Kent, Washington 15 posts
7th Jan '13

i didnt have a baby shower with my first, i was suppose to but my mother inlaw said why do i need one when we can just buy what they need, but being a first time mother a little suprise will do, so i said its whatever, ill accept anything, i am going on my 3rd child and baby shower doesnt even cross my mind...its my 3rd and LAST...



so hopefully you'll have one with your future pregnancy. :)

our lil duckling 17 kids; Washington 11 posts
15th Jan '13

I really like the idea of having a meet and greet after the baby is born. Thank guys <3