wwyd? A&J. ♥ 1 child; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 5613 posts
6th Jan '13

BD has been absent most of LOs life
He is 4 and he has seen him 3x
I have ALWAYS been the one making the effort, making the drive and spending money on gas and tolls.
When we go there he doesn't even pay attention to LO
Walks out to smoke every five minutes
Talks on the phone and texts etc

Now we are about to go to court because he hasn't paid CS in almost a year and he owes 10k in arrears
He has pending drug charges and lives in a sober living facility
And he's suddenly telling me that he should be allowed to take LO out for the day alone
I said no.
And he said "well he is MY son"
I told him he is a stranger to my LO. And he says, no better way to get him used to him than to let him spend the day alone with him.
Am I CRAZY for saying absolutely not? I mean wtf, he doesn't even know my son, his likes, dislikes, behaviors, fears, eating habits etc.

C'sMom! 1 child; Minnesota 1263 posts
6th Jan '13

You are right, you should be able to supervise or have supervised vists set up

Proginoskes II 3 kids; North Carolina 1295 posts
6th Jan '13

You are very right. I would do (and have done) the same thing.

MommaNoodle 2 kids; Pennsylvania 13115 posts
6th Jan '13

i would say no too.

Summerfrost 51 kids; Massachusetts 6709 posts
6th Jan '13

It might be worth talking to your lawyer about visitation agreements and how to work those out. Normally there's a process if BD hasn't seen the kid in a long time. They have supervised visits and stuff like that to help get you guys to the point where you'd be comfortable with him taking your son (if that ever happens).

*~AngelEyes~* 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 10398 posts
6th Jan '13

I say the same. I'd be saying hell no. My son's biological sperm donor hasn't seen him since he was two, neither has anyone else in that family. All of a sudden, his sister wants to spend time with him alone. I told her not without me and my husband. Needless to say, she stopped asking. You are absolutely right for tellin him no.

drunk faith1 1 child; Alabama 10081 posts
6th Jan '13

You were right. Biologically it might be his son, but that doesn't mean he's a real father to him.

Momma +2 Girls 2 kids; Indiana 3612 posts
6th Jan '13

I would NOT agree to letting him take LO out alone based on the information youve given. He may be the biological dad but his actions so far make it difficult to trust him alone with your son.

♥. 2 kids; making moves in, TX, United States 1114 posts
6th Jan '13

No you're not crazy if that were my BD he'd be getting worse treatment than that!

Drunk Blair Waldorf 2 kids; Alpharetta, Georgia 19208 posts
6th Jan '13

My daughter is 10 months old and hasn't spent more than 24 hours total in various visits with her father and I won't let her go see him alone for a day. My son is 6 and the last time he saw his father, he was 4 months old. If his father walked back in and tried to take him for the day alone, I'd laugh in his face. Even WITHOUT the pending drug charges and legal crap, that man doesn't know your kid and vice versa. You have EVERY right to tell him no.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 45862 posts
6th Jan '13

If there is no visitation order, and he has been that absent, no....he doesn't have the right to wander in off the street and take the child.

Tell him that he is more than welcome to go to court and get a visitation order set up.

A&J. ♥ 1 child; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 5613 posts
6th Jan '13

And I asked him, why all of a sudden?
He says "I really want to be a better father someday... And my mom keeps bugging me saying what are you doing... So"
Me: "so your parents are pushing for you to see him"
Him: "well yeah... But I want to"

Umm. Really?!

C'sMom! 1 child; Minnesota 1263 posts
6th Jan '13

Not a good enough answer