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If you had a guy friend... whitney ♥ ainsley 1 child; New Hampshire 16454 posts
6th Jan '13

I was recently at an in patient center. I met a few really great people there, and have stayed in contact with two of them.
The other night I was mentally in a really bad spot, and my friend Ryan drove to come visit me in the middle of the night. We hung out (he was drinking) and then he bought me breakfast.
As he was leaving he hugged me for a really long time, and then attempted to kiss me. As he was driving home he told me I "owed him a kiss".
I know he drank a lot, so I don't know if it was just him being drunk or what.
I feel kinda weird now though, like I don't want to hang out with just him, unless our other friend is around.



Would you feel the same way I do?
Or am I just overreacting.



Also, he knows I've been with my SO for the last 5 years, as well as the issues we had recently.

user banned 1 child; Jamaica, OH, United States 7126 posts
6th Jan '13

I think that would make me uncomfortable, and knowing men he's gonna play it off as he was just drunk and didn't mean it.

loser mom 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Oslo, ,, Norway 10849 posts
6th Jan '13

I don't think you're overreacting, I would probably feel the same way. Don't hang out for a while, maybe you'll feel better about him later on.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5388 posts
6th Jan '13

I would make it clear to him that 1 you do not owe him anything single or not and 2 that you are in a relationship and he needs to respect that as you are. Also why was he driving if he was drunk?

whitney ♥ ainsley 1 child; New Hampshire 16454 posts
6th Jan '13
Quoting xTJ:" I would make it clear to him that 1 you do not owe him anything single or not and 2 that you are in a relationship and he needs to respect that as you are. Also why was he driving if he was drunk?"


Because he decided to make a dumb decision? I offered to let him sleep on the couch if need be so he could sober up but he refused.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5388 posts
6th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting whitney ♥ ainsley:</b>" Because he decided to make a dumb decision? I offered to let him sleep on the couch if need be so he could sober up but he refused. "</blockquote>




Seems like he made a lot of dumb decisions. Drink driving, hitting on someone who is in a relationship and in a vulnerable place, believing that because he does something nice for a girl that she "owes" him something...... Yeah I wouldn't even go near that guy if I was single. I would just cut him out if I were you, doesn't sound like a real friend at all more like someone masquerading as a real friend but really trying to take advantage.

whitney ♥ ainsley 1 child; New Hampshire 16454 posts
6th Jan '13
Quoting xTJ:" <blockquote><b>Quoting whitney ♥ ainsley:</b>" Because he decided to make a ... [snip!] ... doesn't sound like a real friend at all more like someone masquerading as a real friend but really trying to take advantage."


I feel like because we were both in a bad spot, and we supported each other(as well as the others we hung out with in there) maybe he mistook my willingness to listen and help out as something more.
It was just weird because before that everything was friendly, and he didn't act any differently toward me than the other girls, but I don't know.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5388 posts
6th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting whitney ♥ ainsley:</b>" I feel like because we were both in a bad spot, and we supported each other(as well as the others we ... [snip!] ... before that everything was friendly, and he didn't act any differently toward me than the other girls, but I don't know. "</blockquote>




Perhaps he made a genuine misjudgment then..... I'd make it clear though.

whitney ♥ ainsley 1 child; New Hampshire 16454 posts
6th Jan '13
Quoting xTJ:" <blockquote><b>Quoting whitney ♥ ainsley:</b>" I feel like because we were ... [snip!] ... girls, but I don't know. "</blockquote> Perhaps he made a genuine misjudgment then..... I'd make it clear though."


I did. I made it very clear that my SO is the only one I want. I've just been keeping my distance. I did check on him to make sure he got home okay but other than that I haven't spoken to him much.