when they start pooping in the bathwater
Heres my view on it. If one of the bathers is uncomfortable, its time to stop. If something happened between me and my husband and I were to get remarried, I would not like it if my new spouse told me to not bathe with MY children. There is nothing wrong with it. My husband sometimes takes a shower with our 5 yr old son. I still take showers with my 2 yr old daughter. Now, if your husbands girls told you they were uncomfortable with daddy bathing with them, THEN you could step in. As it is, you intruded on something they enjoyed. You do not want to be intruding on things they enjoy. They could come to resent you for that. As for the wanting to bathe with you,. just tell them you are not comfortable. You dont have to get into the sexual aspects of it, just that you are not comfortable bathing with them, and if someone is not comfortable doing something they should not have to do it. Thereis NOTHING wrong with a parent bathing with their child. My 5 yr old son has YET to ask why mommy and daddy look different. He just knows we do. My kids still bathe together and will until one gets uncomfortable with it.
If you personally feel uncomfortable (even in a bathing suit), that is your decision. If its out of your comfort zone it is okay. You can always explain to them that you feel they are too old to be having a bath with you. If Daddy still insists on it, you may want to think a little deeper into it. Maybe this is his special "bonding" time, and he can't bear to give it up just yet.
As for them grabbing at you, just explain that it is not polite to behave in this manner, and they should get the hint. :)
He's already stoped bathing with them. They are five now and even he says thats too old. He stoped when I told him I thought it was wierd....hahaha. I felt bad but I felt I had to be honest. It DID creep me out really bad and it changed how I acted around him when he did it.It wasn't that huge of a deal for him or the girls. He toldthem no one time and they never asked again.I was mostly wondering back on it yesterday and was interested in other peoples opinion on the nutidy between adults and children in general. Step parents included..we have a new one on the way so it may become an issue again down the road. We probably will bathe with him/her untill he/she is old enough to sit up safely with little assisstance but after that I think we will wash from the side of the tub.
I have another interesting angle on this.......to all you Bio Parents. Would it bother you if a step parent that was raised in an open, don't be ashamed of your body environment walked around nude in front of or bathed with your child? Imagine if you KNEW this person meant nothing sexual and was just free spirited. Would you have a problem with that because if that bothers you but you still bathe with your child....whats the difference? I'm being the devil's advocate here. I KNOW some people consider bath time with the kids bonding time but I feel IMO that once they hit 4 and up, (past the early toddler years)bonding time that doesn't require any nudity seems more appropriate. Like bedtime routines, talking over dinner and taking special days for alone time with each child. This comes from a person who was taught not to be ashamed of their body but that you don't let others see you naked. So honestly, in this case, whats the difference between step and bio on this? I had alot of folks say they were raised by their stepmom so they were closer to them but I mean in 50/50 custody cases where step has them every other week.
Quoting Jessica [Slvrmoon]:
Quoting Jessica [Slvrmoon]:
i bath with my 4 1/2yr old daughter still it saves us water as we are on heaps bad water restrictions at the moment. its not always but i still like to have the one on one time with her without anyone alse around. but i think its personal choice. whatever your comfortable with.
I've never bathed with either of my boys but haven't until recently had any issues with them seeing me naked when I'm just out of the shower or whatever. My five year old knows the physical difference between boys and girls. My two year old just pointed to the hair between my legs and said "PUPPY!" and now I'm too embarrassed to not race to get a pair of panties!