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if you were molested or had a child that was molested (trigg blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
8th Jan '13

How do you handle talking about this with your children? What do you say? What age? If it happened what are the signs in a baby or toddler? How did you find out? What is normal "experimental touching" that a child does that is innocent? What is not?



I was molested as a small child under 5. I have blocked it but I know it happened due to actions after on my part and my mentality. I'm TERRIFIED of this happening to my daughter. I would lose it if this happened. Advice and tips please.

MomDIA TTC since May 2008; 81 kids; Warminster, Pennsylvania 3812 posts
8th Jan '13

I had the conversation about inappropriate touching when DS was 4. One of his close friends was molested (6 yrs old) by a family member. I felt it was necessary to talk to my DS about it so he knew to come to me when it happened. As long as the child understands the difference between necessary and inappropriate, talk to them.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
8th Jan '13

My friend's son was molested at 2 to 3 by his brother who was in turn molested by his older brother from another mother. What do you do when they are too young to talk to?

lolajessup Due July 25; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44057 posts
8th Jan '13

I don't tell her about myself. But she's 5 and for a couple of years now we talked about how nobody should see or touch her down there besides mom
Dad and drs. If they do she needs to tell us even if they say not to. Then we always reiterate that to her like during bath time when we help her wash I just ask "so who is allowed to see or touch you in the bath?" or stuff like that.



We had a scare awhile back because she kept complaining of her vagina hurting and was peeing her pants a lot out of nowhere. We took her to the dr to make sure she was physically fine. Then we took her to a therapist to see what to do if it was happening. He just said if something does happen don't freak out because it'll traumatize her.

MomDIA TTC since May 2008; 81 kids; Warminster, Pennsylvania 3812 posts
8th Jan '13

That is tough but seeing as you know the situation keep a close eye on him when around this friend until you can talk to him. Even though I talked to my son about it when we are around these people I pay closer attention then I usually would. I am big anyone on no doors closed, and no touching period, but I am a bit paranoid.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
8th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" I don't tell her about myself. But she's 5 and for a couple of years now we talked about how nobody should ... [snip!] ... to see what to do if it was happening. He just said if something does happen don't freak out because it'll traumatize her."</blockquote>




Did she have a uti?




That is a good idea to keep talking about it during baths

justanothamotha Due January 20; 130 kids; Climax, Michigan 5120 posts
8th Jan '13

I just talk to them about how no one should touch them where underwear covers, etc & they should never touch anyone else in those places, not even if asked or invited to, etc. I also tell them if anyone ever does anything like that they should ask for me immediately & just keep asking louder & louder until they can get to me. I also told them some people will tell you scary lies, like that they will hurt momma if you tell - and they are lies, never believe that. People only tell you things like that to try to scare you into keeping themselves safe. Thankfully they don't understand all of that because it sounds so far fetched to them, but they hear it just the same.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
8th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting FutureMRSmama:</b>" That is tough but seeing as you know the situation keep a close eye on him when around this friend until ... [snip!] ... pay closer attention then I usually would. I am big anyone on no doors closed, and no touching period, but I am a bit paranoid."</blockquote>




Oh I'm never around the kid :( I don't want to be so paranoid about it bc for some reason I think if I think about it too much it will happen. But I am paranoid about it ugh




This really bothers me. I want to protect my child 24/7

That Girl. 2 kids; Florida 4109 posts
8th Jan '13

I was molested as a child. And I feel I makes me so paranoid about my babies being touched. Recently I freaked thinking something was happening to ds because out of the blue when I would try and change his diper he screamed and cried and said no touch. Immediately I thought the worse. Then the next few days I realized he was saying no poo poo, no sippy, no bye bye etc. And the diaper change was just because he didn't want to be changed.

MomDIA TTC since May 2008; 81 kids; Warminster, Pennsylvania 3812 posts
8th Jan '13

See you have to trust your insticts though. The boys mom who it happened to she knew he was different, he was acting out. You are a good mom if you are worried and you would know dont over think it. But discussing it is important. My son is so shy he wont let anyone around him while he is naked except for me so I am lucky there. kind of anyway..

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
8th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting justanothamotha:</b>" I just talk to them about how no one should touch them where underwear covers, etc & they should ... [snip!] ... safe. Thankfully they don't understand all of that because it sounds so far fetched to them, but they hear it just the same."</blockquote>




How often do you say it and what age did you start?

lolajessup Due July 25; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44057 posts
8th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting momma melissa85:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" I don't tell her about myself. But she's 5 ... [snip!] ... it'll traumatize her."</blockquote> Did she have a uti? That is a good idea to keep talking about it during baths"</blockquote>



No she didn't. They think just soaking in a soapy bubble bath too long might have irritated her. So we stopped letting her wash early(like I'd wash her up first and the let her play) and now we let her play and then she says when she's about done and well now she washes herself mostly and we go in and make sure she did it right haha.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
8th Jan '13

So what about that stage where kids lie about all kinda far fetched stuff?

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
8th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting That Girl.:</b>" I was molested as a child. And I feel I makes me so paranoid about my babies being touched. Recently ... [snip!] ... he was saying no poo poo, no sippy, no bye bye etc. And the diaper change was just because he didn't want to be changed."</blockquote>




I'm sorry to hear that :(




Lol I would freak on that too. Seriously I trust nobody but me. Nobody

MomDIA TTC since May 2008; 81 kids; Warminster, Pennsylvania 3812 posts
8th Jan '13
Quoting momma melissa85:" So what about that stage where kids lie about all kinda far fetched stuff?"


IDK, I didnt hit that stage yet. At least he doesnt lie about people. He has imaginary friends that he tells elaborate stories about and has imaginary stories about adventures, but nothing bad thank god. I think that is normal though.