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Starla Hicks Due July 26; Pensacola, Florida 57 posts
9th Jan '13
Quoting Onalee's Mummy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Starla Hicks:</b>" I've been here 2 months. But it's not like ... [snip!] ... been on here long enough to know how it works."</blockquote> Obviously..... I've been here 3 years and still learning."

That's great. That's you. That's your problem. I don't give a damn. Anyhow, I'm tired. I'm going to sleep. Bye.

nasela Minnesota 16 posts
9th Jan '13
Quoting Starla Hicks:" That's great. That's you. That's your problem. I don't give a damn. Anyhow, I'm tired. I'm going to sleep. Bye."


thank you for being polite to me on here, im sorry about everyone fighting with you...yes everyone has their own oppinion, and since they shared theirs, then you can share yours...im with you on the whole no abortion thing though...if i am pregnant , i believe the child needs a chance...

Tay L 1 child; St Paul, Minnesota 719 posts
9th Jan '13

Off topic but, I live in minnesota too! Where in minnesota are you? I live in roseville now, like 4 blocks away from st paul. (I walk down the street and I'm in st. Paul.) I used to live in white bear.

Tay L 1 child; St Paul, Minnesota 719 posts
9th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Onalee's Mummy:</b>" First off take a test Secondly talk to your boyfriend. Are you in a relationship? What will you do ... [snip!] ... about. The ladies on here are giving you advice. From your op, you seem more mature than some girls I see on here your age."</blockquote>




Its not illegal for them to have sex! Once you turn 16 here in minnesota, you can date 3yrs down, 3yrs up! I'm going to school for law enforcement and I've talked to multiple officers about it. Especially since I was kind of with a guy who was 19, I had met him a couple months before my 17th birthday. Which age of consent here is 16, if you are with someone older. Also my friends are kinda dumb. My one friend is 2yrs younger than me and lost her virginity as 12, a week before her 13th b-day, to a guy who was 15 and she dated him for a year and then dated his friend. When she dated the friend he was 16 she was 14, turning 15. They had sex, her mom knew about it and so did his family. They didn't like that and her mom didn't approve, 1 cause she was young, 2 cause he wasn't white.

Tay L 1 child; St Paul, Minnesota 719 posts
9th Jan '13

First off I would not tell your mom until you know you are pregnant. You don't want to start something that doesn't need to be started!



Second if you don't want to have an abortion, don't! Its your decision! No one else can make you! Especially since you are 16. Also since you are 16 you can go to a Dr. For any reason and they are NOT allowed to tell your parents. So you can get bc and they can't tell your parents, they also can't tell your parents that you were there or what you were there for!



If you were pregnant and you do want to do adoption, I know someone who would probably get on her hands and knees and beg to adopt your child. She's married to my bf's old foster brother. She and I had a talk a couple weeks ago about this. How she has told young girls that she knows that have had pregnancy scares that she would be willing to adopt their child and let them have a part in the childs life. She would never close an open adoption. She can't have kids and really wants one.



If you want to talk you can send my a message! Also feel free to parent tank me. :) I'll try to help you any way if you need or would like. :)

Onalee's Mummy Due August 26 (boy); 1 child; Newcastle, Australia 5355 posts
10th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tay L:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Onalee's Mummy:</b>" First off take a test Secondly talk to ... [snip!] ... it and so did his family. They didn't like that and her mom didn't approve, 1 cause she was young, 2 cause he wasn't white."</blockquote>



Calm down. Take a look at what country I'm from we have different laws. I didn't say it was illegal I asked if it was.

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
10th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Starla Hicks:</b>" The fact that you told her that an abortion would be the best choice for her is really upsetting. Yes, ... [snip!] ... is her BEST option, and not even bother explaining to her the benefits of other options is kind of wrong in my opinion. "</blockquote>




Adoption is incredibly hard and there is NO positive to becoming a teen mother and bring a baby into her family situation. I'm entitled to my opinion, I think abortion is her VERY BEST option. Adoption being a distant second and parenting being a POOR choice.
You don't other prople's opinions? Get off of this PUBLIC FORUM.

Tay L 1 child; St Paul, Minnesota 719 posts
10th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommaSav2:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Starla Hicks:</b>" The fact that you told her that an abortion ... [snip!] ... being a distant second and parenting being a POOR choice. You don't other prople's opinions? Get off of this PUBLIC FORUM."</blockquote>




I can think of one positive, that's if the person can make it through highschool with a baby. That by the time you get in college, the kid will be in school. So while they are in school, you can be in class and not have to worry or pay for daycare. (You may have to do daycare in order to work, or have class on some days, work on others.)



A "posiitive" (probably not really positive, just more of a fact.) while in highschool, you have to wake up early anyways. So usually you'll be up taking care of the baby at the same time you'd have to wake up anyways... don't know of any positives while in highschool. I know there are schools you can go to that have free daycare at and you can have lunch with your kid and have like a recess with them.

Onalee's Mummy Due August 26 (boy); 1 child; Newcastle, Australia 5355 posts
10th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tay L:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting MommaSav2:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Starla Hicks:</b>" ... [snip!] ... are schools you can go to that have free daycare at and you can have lunch with your kid and have like a recess with them."</blockquote>



Gee if only my baby had woken up at the time I had to get to school and wasn't up all night.



I went to on of those schools. And it was fantastic. But if we are realistic she is 16, she will be finished school in 2 years and the baby won't start school until its five. So there's a 3 year gap where she will hav to pay childcare. But I'm sure you would have some kind of subsidy anyway.



Having a baby because she might or might not save money on daycare is not a smart idea. And I am sure she will think about it a lot more before making a decision. That's IF she is pregnant. She still is not late.

Tay L 1 child; St Paul, Minnesota 719 posts
10th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Onalee's Mummy:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Tay L:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting MommaSav2:</b>" ... [snip!] ... And I am sure she will think about it a lot more before making a decision. That's IF she is pregnant. She still is not late."</blockquote>




I was just trying to come up with away it could be "positive". There's days when I wish I had my son earlier so he could be in preschool or kindergarden right now. (I was trying to figure out how to go take my finals with a newborn and how I was going to do spring semester and just kept thinking if he was going into school right now it would make this so much easier.)



She could always do preschool. Of course that is if she is pregnant. I hope she isn't, cause it will be VERY hard.



If you are, i'd be willing to help in any way. Help with info or anything really. If you're anywhere near me, I maybe able to help you out with other things besides just info.



Since you are against abortion, and idk how you feel about adoption, but if you were to keep your child, IF you're pregnant, there are places that can help! Depending on where in minnesota you are, I can help you find places. I went to a place where they educate you and then help you get baby things for going to the classes. By being educated, I don't agree with what people say about abortion! Like its just a bunch of cells. Uh it has a heartbeat at 7weeks! I know, cause that's around when I found out, and the lady pointed to a little dot that flickered and showed me and my bf the heartbeat. (Which totally changed his view on abortion, he no longer believes in it. He thinks that things aren't living unless they are aware of their existence, which a baby has brain waves and knows it exists by 2-3 months. Which is when most people find out they are pregnant.)



Oh and people always meantion getting an abortion cause it will be easier and blah blah blah. But what no one meantions is that it costs 850 to get one! Since you also live in minnesota, I'll spair you the time of researching it. Planned parenthood only has 1 clinic out of 4 around the twin cities that does abortions. They expect 650 up front, no matter which type of abortion you choose and then they will bill you for the rest. (There's the abortion pill and the surgery) you can only get the pill before 7 or 11 weeks (I was told 11, someone else said 7) and they will do the surgery up to 20 weeks. The surgery is 900, so its 50 dollars more than the pill. So that's almost a thousand dollars just to kill your baby, which there's a forum on here about how people spent less than a thousand during the first year. (I've spent maybe a hundred, everything else I have were handed down from my cousins or friends or the place where I took prenatal and parenting classes.)



So even if abortion is the "best" thing for you and will "help" in the long run. Question is, do you have a thousand dollars for it? I didn't! I also dont believe in it, I don't think its right unless under certain circumstances, but I was being pressured into it so I called them. I decided I didn't want it. (I spent days researching abortion, how its done, how people feel after, what it does to your body.) That's from the, having a baby is to expensive, way of looking. Yes over the years, but you can save up, babies don't need all that much during the first year, so I've noticed and been told. People only think that cause they think they need a bunch of fancy expensive things. I have toys and a bouncer and swing that are sitting in my storage locker cause we don't use them. We don't need to. My son has a basinet, a crib, and a swing. He used to sleep in the basinet but now he sleeps in the swing. He won't use the crib for another couple of months.



If you wanted to do adoption, again depending on where you live, I know of a family who would be soo happy to be able to have a baby.



So if you are pregnant, look at all your options, do research, see if you would be able to get help, look at things money wise, don't just pick an option, figure out what you really want and do what YOU want, don't let others tell you what to do! My mom at first wanted me to have an abortion, now she begs me to take him to her house. She asks me to let her watch him or keep him over nights. There's times where I feel like she's just gonna try to keep him cause she loves and adores him so much. My bf wanted abortion, till the classes. Then he wanted to do adoption. I said I want to keep him. In the hospital, he said he wouldn't have been able to hand the baby over.

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
10th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tay L:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting MommaSav2:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Starla Hicks:</b>" ... [snip!] ... are schools you can go to that have free daycare at and you can have lunch with your kid and have like a recess with them."</blockquote>




Those are not positives, those are possibilities that would make surviving teen parenthood an option. But guess what, my baby didn't sleep through the night and wake up just in time for me to get ready for classes when i was in school (i had my first my junior year of college)He was up all night and then would fall asleep the second i got him to the babysitter. So I was up all night with a baby then went straight to school to sit in class all day with no sleep, go home, did my homework (if I had time with the baby needing me evey second) and then I did it again that night and the next day. Not to mention having to work evey after noon to pay the babysitter. I had to go back to work and school 2 week after he was born or inwould have missed the semester.
I was 20 when I had my first with a supportive partner (who is now husband), which is not what is going tonhappen for this girl getting knocked up by a 14 year old child who her family hates, and as much as i love him and wouldn't trade him for anything, I did NOT love our situation for the first few years. It was really hard and if I could have had the exact same kid a few years later I absolutely would. And I was 4 years older than this girl with a 23 year old very supportive partner, I could not imagine being 16 and trying to deal with an unplanned pregnancy and then parent with a 14 year old child.
IN MY OPINION, abortion is absolutely her best option, adoption a distant second. Since she already said she won't abort if she is pregnant, I can only hope forthe sake of her future, the boy's future, and their child's future she chooses adoption.

Starla Hicks Due July 26; Pensacola, Florida 57 posts
10th Jan '13
Quoting nasela:" thank you for being polite to me on here, im sorry about everyone fighting with you...yes everyone has ... [snip!] ... can share yours...im with you on the whole no abortion thing though...if i am pregnant , i believe the child needs a chance..."

It's alright. I'm 14, and I'm pregnant. Everyone told me I should get an abortion otherwise I was going to ruin the child's life, but I don't believe that's true. This child deserves a chance to live just as every other baby does. And, I'm not in anyway ruining it's life either. I've got my own job, and I'm saving up all the money I can for this baby. And not only that, but the baby's dad has got a job too, and he has the greatest bond you could ever believe possible with this baby, and it's not even born yet. Every one telling you the outcome is going to be negative isn't necessarily right. Only time will tell what's going to happen. They can't predict the future. My baby's dad has gotten a job and is the happiest father you could even imagine. He almost cried when he first heard the heartbeat, and he couldn't stop smiling at all when I got my first ultrasound. He loves this baby. I'm sure that if you're pregnant, and your boyfriend doesn't stay, there will be at least one person to help you and support you. Best of luck to you. You can PT me if you'd like to.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36631 posts
10th Jan '13
Quoting Starla Hicks:" It's alright. I'm 14, and I'm pregnant. Everyone told me I should get an abortion otherwise I was going ... [snip!] ... stay, there will be at least one person to help you and support you. Best of luck to you. You can PT me if you'd like to. "


Thats just great, a 14 year old telling a 16 year old that it isnt going to be bad. And adoption is great. Yeah get the fuck off of here with that shit. You are a child yourself. The stats are behind you and her. You will most likely drop out because you will be so tired that you cant stay up. You will be tired of doing everything. You are not going to have enough money at the end of the day for a baby sitter along with all of the baby stuff the baby needs.



Are we being rough? Yeah. But have none of us been where she is [or you are]? Yeah we all have been where you are. You will see what I mean when that kid is born. And most likely what will happen is your boyfriend wont stick around. He will want to be kid free... and live his life without complications of a kid. You will be stuck iwth it.



But again we do not kn ow what we are talking about at all... WE have NEVER EVER been where you guys have been... :roll: The reason all of us are saying this shit is because we know how hard it is to read through these posts on here about the dad not doing shit and how these young moms are tired of doing everything alone. And I really feel for them. I do. I may not be young, Im 25 years old. But I know the heart break of not having your childss father in your life. I know what its like to say when you are pregnant that everything will be different than your parents. That you will overcome the stats that are against you.



I highly suggest you two really grow up. OP I hope to god you are not pregnant. And the 14 year old that is, you need some growing up pills. That little paying job isnt going to do shit for you. And I dont even know where you could get a job at 14... Most places wont hire until 16... You two need to start thinking realistically.

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
10th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Starla Hicks:</b>" It's alright. I'm 14, and I'm pregnant. Everyone told me I should get an abortion otherwise I was going ... [snip!] ... stay, there will be at least one person to help you and support you. Best of luck to you. You can PT me if you'd like to. "</blockquote>




You're kid isn't here yet. Parenthood and pregnancy are not even close to the same thing. Check in here in a year to a year and half and let us know how it's working out for you guys.

Starla Hicks Due July 26; Pensacola, Florida 57 posts
10th Jan '13
Quoting Yurvette [♥]:" Thats just great, a 14 year old telling a 16 year old that it isnt going to be bad. And adoption is ... [snip!] ... even know where you could get a job at 14... Most places wont hire until 16... You two need to start thinking realistically. "

I didn't say it isn't going to be bad. I just said that so far, my experience hasn't been bad. I don't have a "low paying job". I'm working in a family business. That's how I got hired at 14. Also, you're sitting here acting as if YOU can tell the future. You can't. You're going by your own personal experiences. Not EVERYONE is alike. There are some guys that are different, that actually wanna be there for their baby's. I also do virtual school. Which is an at home, online school. It can be done whenever I like, and it works around my schedule. You're acting as if you can tell the future, and you can't. No one can. Which is why I said "Only time will tell." Because, yeah. I don't know that my boyfriend will stay around, but I know that he's here now. He could leave, and he could not. Only time will tell. But, I do know that I'm not dropping out. I'm not that type of kid. I never have been. Even though you may seriously think everything's going to go wrong, you can't say for sure that they will. You can only throw your opinion out there, just as everyone else. No one knows what's going to happen. Time will tell.