I can't believe I'm going to be a mother of two this summer. My son will turn 3 the week this coming baby is due. I always wanted like 4-6 kids, but it's just now setting in that my wonderful toddler is soon going to share my heart with a sibling.
At first, I was pretty scared. I'm use to life with my toddler. It felt like I'd be starting over and like I'd fail. I also feared his jealousy. Just recently I've come to be very excited with the idea of it and I think it'll go well once we adjust. I keep thinking of the day I have this baby, holding my newborn and my son in my arms. That'll be my whole world.
However; I am very curious as to some of the adjustments you had to make when you welcomed your second child in. Did it make life easier or harder? Was it a smooth transition? Jealousy? Were you crazy stressed? Did your oldest backtrack in their developement for a period?
My newest is 3 months old and my oldest is 4. My oldest did not like the baby at all. He was and still is super jealous and doesn't like me so much anymore because of the baby. Baby sleeps in my room, I feed the baby, do everything for baby so he gets mad about it. He ignores his brother for the most part. Won't come near me if I'm holding him so idk. I'm hoping it stops soon.
Watching! I am due in the end of July with my second and I have all the same questions and concerns
My oldest adjusted perfectly. He's great with his brother and he didn't regress. He's a little on the clingy attention-seeking side but nothing unmanageable. He's adjusting way better than I am. The baby is 6 months old and I feel like it's getting harder and harder. :x But over all having 2 is much more fun than just one.
My kids are 18 months apart and it was hectic at first but once we got adjusted it was fine!
It's not bad, don't be scared :D
I'm going from 2 to 3 this summer! lol
Quoting :*:CHRiSTiNe:*::" My newest is 3 months old and my oldest is 4. My oldest did not like the baby at all. He was and still ... [snip!] ... mad about it. He ignores his brother for the most part. Won't come near me if I'm holding him so idk. I'm hoping it stops soon."
Oh no :( it'd break my heart if my oldest completely pushed me away.
I'm going to be sure to take individual time with him and do all I can to let him know he's still very loved...
I mean, of course, it's hard at first. You have to adjust your whole life really, to looking after, and taking care of 2 instead of 1.
I've heard from a lot of people the transition from 1 to 2 is the hardest. After that it's "easier" because you already know what you have to do time wise.
There wasn't jealousy really. The hardest part for me was learning how to handle carrying both kids, and still getting my sons school work in, while having a BFing screaming, clingy infant lol. Oh and functioning on no sleep. That part was by far the shittiest.
It took a lot of practice and patience but I got the hang of it after a couple weeks.
<blockquote><b>Quoting min.:</b>" Oh no :( it'd break my heart if my oldest completely pushed me away. I'm going to be sure to take individual time with him and do all I can to let him know he's still very loved..."</blockquote>
I knew it would be rough for him. He has always been the super jealous type. Even if SO would cuddle with me he'd be like "that's my mommy" and try to shove him away but he got over that. He also had no idea what a baby was or what they do so he was initially excited about having a brother to play with but was probably expecting a full grown toddler to show up at home vs a little wrinkly crying baby that does nothing and sucks up all of mommy's attention. On weekends I'll take him out just me and him to do whatever he wants to spend quality time together and I see how our relationship used to be come peeking out but then we go home and he gets very standoffish.
I had my son about 3 weeks ago and my daughter will be 2 next month and she has been doing pretty well. She's actually gotten more clingy to me and wants to sleep next to me etc. I've just done everything I can to not let her feel any different. When she wants to cuddle I cuddle, plau, etc. she us very helpful with him though and as long add I keep get involved and make her feel like she's part of the process of feeding and stuff she does very well. She definitely tries to push her bounties but we have to be firm and she does good. It's all a learning experience and major adjusting. In my opinion it's been more difficult to get a routine down but he's only 3 weeks. Once we get back on a schedule I think it'll be smooth again :-) good luck to you and congratulations!
Being pregnant w/ my 2nd was awful... "chasing" after a toddler, sick 24/7, summer time, no help from SO... i was miserable... Right before i had Nick- i bawled my eyes out because Konnor really had no idea what was about to happen. He didnt understand I was pregnant/ having a baby, ect (he was 21 months) I had him on Thursday, came home on Saturday, SO went back to work on Monday. First few weeks were ok, konnor was just kind of 'amazed' by him... he hadnt been around many babies... so he was curious. He just did his own thing, would sit next to the baby, touch his fingers/ toes/ head, ect. Things got hard around 6-8wks, konnor i think realized the baby wasnt leaving- he started poking him.. pinching him.. squeezing him.. acting out, getting jealous, just changed. At around 3 months, Konnor stopped napping - thats when it got HARDER! I was exhausted. The baby was easy, got him on basically the same schedule as konnor, he slept ok at night... when konnor stopped napping, all hell broke loose. The older Nick got, the better it got (after 3/4 months)
It was a little hard to take them both out of the house, alone, at first - but Im not one to stay home... so i just sucked it up... up until konnor was about 2- 2 1/2.. i would carry them BOTH in the house, and BOTH into the store; that was tough.
Once Nick started walking, it became a little harder... konnor would get nick to get into stuff they werent supposed to (instigator) but at around 18ms or so- it got much easier again because they do EVERYTHING together. They entertain each other, play, ect ect.