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--- Rain (aka Mama) 3 kids; Monroe, Georgia 6487 posts
11th Jan '13

*poof*



Thanks

The Dandelion Rapist 18 kids; New Mexico 6885 posts
11th Jan '13

Does he not realize what it does to you for him to say these things ?



I would remind him that your marriage isn't all about him.

user banned California 36390 posts
11th Jan '13

I have no real advice. Just wanted to say it's.HIS choice if.he wants to do that, no yours. Can you show someone those messages and force him to get help?

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42788 posts
11th Jan '13

Well...he's being a huge baby about it, but yeah, your fault. If it's something that's important to him, you blowing it off isn't doing shit to save your marriage.

user banned Due November 26; 1 child; Parkersburg, West Virginia 9548 posts
11th Jan '13

he needs help. if he is depressed it could be causing your marriage to split. he needs to take care of his mental issues b4 he can have a good relationship with someone else.

Word Japan 244 posts
11th Jan '13

How long has he been acting like this?

The Dandelion Rapist 18 kids; New Mexico 6885 posts
11th Jan '13
Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:" Well...he's being a huge baby about it, but yeah, your fault. If it's something that's important to him, you blowing it off isn't doing shit to save your marriage."


This is true too!

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42788 posts
11th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:</b>" Well...he's being a huge baby about it, but yeah, your fault. If it's something that's important to him, you blowing it off isn't doing shit to save your marriage."</blockquote>




And I don't mean it'd be your fault if he kills himself, he needs to get that shit under control.

I'm His Amy He's My Rory 2 kids; Caldwell, Idaho 49340 posts
11th Jan '13

Honestly there comes a point when you're not responsible for their actions. It's not fair for him to expect sexual "favors" from you when he treats you like crap. I'd either ignore it or flat out tell him "You do what you feel is best, but I don't think you dying is the answer"

user banned Vancouver, British Columbia 5643 posts
11th Jan '13

"You could have offered yourself to me" wtf does he think you are? A piece of cake? Sorry but it really pisses me off when people say they will kill themselves for attention.



You are in no way in the wrong.

Mommy2Kay Due April 20; 1 child; Florida 4235 posts
11th Jan '13

I'm sorry you are going through that, this is not your fault and he REALLY needs professional help. There will never be enough on your part that will make him happy because any little thing can trigger his depression/suicidal thoughts. This is really out of control, next time he threatens to kill himself just call 911.

user banned California 36390 posts
11th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:</b>" Well...he's being a huge baby about it, but yeah, your fault. If it's something that's important to him, you blowing it off isn't doing shit to save your marriage."</blockquote>



She shouldn't force.herself to so things she.doesnt want to just because HE wants.her to. :?

*B & D Mommy* Due January 19; 2 kids; Illinois 16126 posts
11th Jan '13
Quoting Drippy Hairymuff:" Does he not realize what it does to you for him to say these things ? I would remind him that your marriage isn't all about him. "


That is a good question.



OP he is one of two things...



1. He really is suicidal and super depressed and little things that you do or don't do seem to "push" him farther



2. He isn't actually ever going to kill himself, but knows he can control you this way and get what he wants by saying these things



Question is..How do you know what is true? Well first things first. Has he ever in his life attempted suicide? What does he do when you don't "make it up" to him? Have you ever NOT made it up to him? I think you should tell him that you think you BOTH need to go to marriage counseling. See what he says about that. Tell him that you think that might help "fix" you guys.

Momma x 2 18 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 1372 posts
11th Jan '13

Has he addresses his depression? It sounds like he is suffering from mental illness of some sort which no matter what you do/how you act will not help change anything. I think he should see his doctor, and if I were in your shoes, I would give him an ultimatum about it.

Jae- DJ Jordyn & Cams Mom 3 kids; San Diego, California 5928 posts
11th Jan '13

Correct me if I'm wrong but your the woman who lost her step-son to cancer right? This has to eat your DH up everyday. Are you guys in any kind of counseling?



100% not right for him to treat you like that but it sounds like your both tired and are (understandably) having a hard time with emotions.



I hope things get better sooner rather then later- I can't imagine how much pain you two are in but you and your kids still need him here. Him taking his life would be the worst thing he could do to the family. Maybe you need to schedule the counseling and just drive him there don't give him the choice?



It sounds like he needs you more then ever but I know you need him too and it's hard to be there for someone who's not able to be there for you.