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Kimber's Mommy 1 child; South Carolina 4272 posts
11th Jan '13

love porn. SO and i have a porn collection.

Clk 2 kids; Dexter, Michigan 11925 posts
11th Jan '13

Neither my Husband nor I watch porn as we find it paints a negative view on both sexes. Basically that women will have sex with anything that walks her way, and sex is all men want.



That being said if my husband wanted to watch porn it would be fine, I just wouldn't watch with him. We don't believe porn leads to cheating, nor is it about not loving your SO. For most it's just like fantasizing about a celebrity in your head. I would talk to your SO and let him know your feelings, and that you won't watch it with him.

Uh-Nis-Uh [EBF] 2 kids; West Virginia 15190 posts
11th Jan '13
Quoting Jenna+1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Uh-Nis-Uh [EBF]:</b>" :!:"</blockquote> Some couple ... [snip!] ... another and wouldn't do something they didn't like. If they are both ok with that set up than there is nothing wrong with it."

Yes, but talking about it and giving permission seem like two different things. It just seems like she's trying to "be the boss" if you know what I mean.

RoseMaryy 1 child; California 139 posts
11th Jan '13
Quoting Heeeeeey, Sexy lady. ;):" Why does it disgust you? It's kind of sad though, that you have to allow him to watch porn. Just saying."


I think watching someone have sex is DISGUSTING! I don't feel in any way turned on. && how is it that it's sad? It's not like he's asking for approval he always watched it except behind my back.

Cassie♥ 4 kids; Wahiawa, Hawaii 5353 posts
11th Jan '13
Quoting Jenna+1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Uh-Nis-Uh [EBF]:</b>" :!:"</blockquote> Some couple ... [snip!] ... another and wouldn't do something they didn't like. If they are both ok with that set up than there is nothing wrong with it."


!

Cassie♥ 4 kids; Wahiawa, Hawaii 5353 posts
11th Jan '13
Quoting RoseMaryy:" I think watching someone have sex is DISGUSTING! I don't feel in any way turned on. && how is ... [snip!] ... on. && how is it that it's sad? It's not like he's asking for approval he always watched it except behind my back."


I agree with you. and the bottom line is your husband should respect something you don't agree with... thats what marriage is about, respect, trust and compromise. If he knows it makes you feel unworthy and less attractive that SHOULD bother him to where he chooses not to watch it.

Donna Jo Tanner 1 child; Beach Haven, New Jersey 6440 posts
11th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Uh-Nis-Uh [EBF]:</b>" Yes, but talking about it and giving permission seem like two different things. It just seems like she's trying to "be the boss" if you know what I mean. "</blockquote>




Yeah I get that. And I wouldnt want to be with someone I had to "allow" or "not allow" to do stuff. I'd want to be with someone who heard how I felt and CHOSE to not do or do something, Kwim?

Soon 2B Mom of 2 2 kids; North Highlands, California 3785 posts
11th Jan '13
Quoting RoseMaryy:" I think watching someone have sex is DISGUSTING! I don't feel in any way turned on. && how is ... [snip!] ... on. && how is it that it's sad? It's not like he's asking for approval he always watched it except behind my back."


I actually agree with the first part of this. I am in no way turned on by watching other people have sex. It just isnt my thing. But again, I wouldnt have a problem with it unless it actually started causing problems in our sex life. That being said, if you have that big of an issue with it, he should respect your wishes, not because your trying to control him, but because he loves and respects you enough not to do something that upsets you so much. Also you sound somewhat insecure, and maybe that could be part of the problem. I think you guys should try to find some sort of compromise, or try some therapy.

RoseMaryy 1 child; California 139 posts
11th Jan '13
Quoting Soon 2B Mom of 2:" I actually agree with the first part of this. I am in no way turned on by watching other people have ... [snip!] ... and maybe that could be part of the problem. I think you guys should try to find some sort of compromise, or try some therapy."

I think you're right, I am a little insecure. I think therapy will help.

Jennifer Bolen Due April 16 (boy); Oregon 189 posts
11th Jan '13

I watch porn alone..... My DH has a collection he hasn't pulled them out since we've been together but I've been watching it. He doesn't care since I got pregnant my sex drive has been way up! He also works a lot so he doesn't care he'd rather have me watch porn and take care of myself then to not have my needs met. We haven't started watching porn together but I'm sure we will. I think as human beings were fascinated by watch what other people do during sex. Just my opinion though:)

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
11th Jan '13
Quoting Cassie♥:" I agree with you. and the bottom line is your husband should respect something you don't agree with... ... [snip!] ... If he knows it makes you feel unworthy and less attractive that SHOULD bother him to where he chooses not to watch it."


So say for example, OP loves eating chocolate but her SO doesn't like it because it makes him fat. She should stop eating it? Just, because they are married? I don't see the logic in that.

Soon 2B Mom of 2 2 kids; North Highlands, California 3785 posts
11th Jan '13
Quoting RoseMaryy:" I think you're right, I am a little insecure. I think therapy will help."


It worked wonders for me and DH :)

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
11th Jan '13
Quoting RoseMaryy:" I think watching someone have sex is DISGUSTING! I don't feel in any way turned on. && how is ... [snip!] ... on. && how is it that it's sad? It's not like he's asking for approval he always watched it except behind my back."


Well this is not what was implied in your OP. I don't care for porn, but I don't think you should tell him to stop watching porn. I think the fact that he's doing it when you're not around is good. You wouldn't like it if he told you to stop doing something you loved doing.

Cassie♥ 4 kids; Wahiawa, Hawaii 5353 posts
11th Jan '13
Quoting Heeeeeey, Sexy lady. ;):" So say for example, OP loves eating chocolate but her SO doesn't like it because it makes him fat. She should stop eating it? Just, because they are married? I don't see the logic in that. "


Well technically she isn't doing nothing that actually harms him. By watching porn he is emotionally damaging her cause she doesn't agree and its making her even more insecure... and its clearly effecting thier marriage. So yes, I guess if it bothers him THAT much that she is eatting chocolate, then she should love and respect him enough to take care of her body, especially if its effecting thier relationship.



thats just my opinion... no wonder so many marriages fail (including mine) Because we don't take it seriously. You should be willing to do everything and anything to please the other person and people are so dang selfish these days which is why divorce rate is out the roof.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
11th Jan '13
Quoting Cassie♥:" Well technically she isn't doing nothing that actually harms him. By watching porn he is emotionally ... [snip!] ... roof. If a husband wanted to go to a bar with friends and the wife needed him home... no one would think twice about her "mak"


I'm sorry about your marriage. I do agree with this to an extent but I don't feel like she should make him cut the porn off completely. I honestly think it's all a state of mind because I used to be the same way with DH but then again, I'd much rather know what he's doing and be okay with it (as long as he's not putting porn before her) than have him do it behind my back. Deleting the history, hiding his movies.



I mean, it's not like he can have sexual relationships with another woman through the screen.



However, you may be right and I'm wrong.