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what would you do if you were me? nikkigoodbear 2 kids; Seattle, Washington 123 posts
12th Jan '13

kind of wierd question. long story short i left my ex at the end of nov after i found out i was preg, he wasn't very happy about it which led to a fightand i left and leter got a PO on him. well over the holidays my Oldest son who i don't have custody of dad brought him to spend some time with me and his new brother. while tthey were here my oldest son dad and i started talking and he was asking what was i going to do now that i left my EX and if i wanted to start having my son stay over once i got on my feet i could. we got along really well the whoe time he was visiting and before he left he ask me coud we ever try to be together, he said that he would really like for us to try since we were never really together he never really had the chance to show me he is a good guy since i went from one bad realtionship to the next and never gave him a chance we have been talking .I don;t really know what to right now, i just got out a of bad realtionship and don't know what i want to do. being with my oldest son dad mean i get to spend way more time with him and i would love that but right now i don't know if i want to be with anyone right now.

✌Nikki☀ 1 child; Illinois 2110 posts
12th Jan '13

If you don't think you want to be with anyone right now then I don't think I'd get in a relationship with your oldest son's dad. Wait until you're ready to commit to a relationship again.

Justine's Mama Due November 28 (boy); 1 child; Boynton Beach, Florida 1939 posts
12th Jan '13

If it were me I would give it time since you said you are not sure you want to be with anyone right now. When I got out of my bad relationship I didn't want to be with anyone either I took some time to worry about me and take care of things. So maybe take some time, think about things like if you do want to maybe be with your son's father. Then if you feel you do give it a chance and just take it slow. Hope this possibly helped.

Maria + Cory = Alexis 17 kids; Middleport, Ohio 1075 posts
12th Jan '13

I dated a wonderful guy once but it didn't work out. A few years later I still felt bad for ending it so I contacted him again and we tried to date for the second time. He was so nice to me. He treated me with respect, always brought me flowers, took me to nice dinners, opened doors for me, and my family loved him.



He was just to perfect to be true. But no matter how much I wanted to love him I just couldn't. We never fraught about anything, but we really didn't have anything in common.



Personally I am glad I gave him a second chance, but in end it just wasn't meant to be. I was very happy to see that he finally did meet someone and now is married.



Good people deserve a second chance. Don't spend your life wondering if it would have worked.

nikkigoodbear 2 kids; Seattle, Washington 123 posts
12th Jan '13
Quoting Chloe's Mommy 8.26.2012:" If you don't think you want to be with anyone right now then I don't think I'd get in a relationship with your oldest son's dad. Wait until you're ready to commit to a relationship again."

yea Im not ready to commit to anything just yet i still need time and i don't want to end up hurting beucase i jumed into the realationship to early

nikkigoodbear 2 kids; Seattle, Washington 123 posts
12th Jan '13
Quoting Justine's Mama:" If it were me I would give it time since you said you are not sure you want to be with anyone right now. ... [snip!] ... to maybe be with your son's father. Then if you feel you do give it a chance and just take it slow. Hope this possibly helped."

yes it did help and thank you

Red Bottom TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15307 posts
12th Jan '13

Relationships aren't about convenience. They're about the person you're going to spend every waking moment with for the rest of your life.



You can have more time with your son if you start making better life decisions, get back on your feet, and file for more time. THAT would be a logical plan. Not choosing to make the same mistake you've already made once.



This seems like a shitting where you eat situation.....he's bribing you into a relationship and using your son as a pawn. Don't think he won't use that against you if it doesn't work out.

nikkigoodbear 2 kids; Seattle, Washington 123 posts
12th Jan '13
Quoting Maria + Cory = Alexis:" I dated a wonderful guy once but it didn't work out. A few years later I still felt bad for ending it ... [snip!] ... someone and now is married. Good people deserve a second chance. Don't spend your life wondering if it would have worked. "

we never really dated so to me its not a 2nd chaance relationship wise i got preg by him and that was it.

nikkigoodbear 2 kids; Seattle, Washington 123 posts
12th Jan '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" Relationships aren't about convenience. They're about the person you're going to spend every waking moment ... [snip!] ... you into a relationship and using your son as a pawn. Don't think he won't use that against you if it doesn't work out. "


me and him were never really together. abd i don't know if it was the way i worded it but i don't feel that he was using my son just to get with me, before he woudn't let me have him over night with out him there when i was with any of my EXs afther he found out how they were and i don't blame him for that,

Red Bottom TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15307 posts
12th Jan '13
Quoting nikkigoodbear:" me and him were never really together. abd i don't know if it was the way i worded it but i don't feel ... [snip!] ... over night with out him there when i was with any of my EXs afther he found out how they were and i don't blame him for that,"


YOU shouldn't have wanted your child around those people. His father shouldn't have to "find out" how they are to protect his child. Sounds to me like you need to start growing up and getting your life together before you think about having your son more.

MommyCarter♥1315 1 child; 1 angel baby; Dalton, Georgia 832 posts
12th Jan '13

Maybe yall could try to take things slow. Don't commit to each other with a serious relationship just start spending more time together, getting to know each other better. It could work out. But if yall find that you aren't really made for each other then it's not like you have another bad relationship on your hands. You're just getting to know each other better. Personally I had a string of bad relationships and then I got set up with a guy that I had never met before and now we're married and expecting our first child due any day now. Sometimes things just work out whether you think it will or not. Good luck with everything.

nikkigoodbear 2 kids; Seattle, Washington 123 posts
12th Jan '13
Quoting C + I = Maci ♥:" Maybe yall could try to take things slow. Don't commit to each other with a serious relationship just ... [snip!] ... our first child due any day now. Sometimes things just work out whether you think it will or not. Good luck with everything."


he could be the one, I don't know but right now im not ready for to be with anyone not even taking things slow i just need time to get myslef together, i want to be able to spend more time with my odest son and i want him to be able to bond with his brother and i hope that his dad will still bring him around more but im just not ready to be in another relationship. I don't want to hurt him and i don't want to end up getting hurt either