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RadioactiveCat 2 kids; Roanoke, VA, United States 22958 posts
12th Jan '13
Quoting BareFootBabyMaker:" :!: This completely, I feel that it is completely ridiculous to have a child go back and forth between ... [snip!] ... because of a job. If shes old enough for school/daycare then I would find a job that worked with that. Children need stability!"


She will have daycare/Pre-K, in the day. I'm going to be working 3rd shift though. I am on a wait list to move to traditional 1st shift, but I would rather not hire a night baby sitter on top of school. A night baby-sitter is still someone else, not me, raising her. I figured with her father sharing some time at least she would be with her family member.



I actually do agree about the need for stability, but legitimate tax paying jobs that pay this well in my area are scarce. I'm not finished with college. It's this or nothing really. Hopefully they can move me to day shift with relative swiftness, so she can have all her needs for space able to be met in one location. (Preferably my house!)

whitney ♥ ainsley 1 child; New Hampshire 16454 posts
12th Jan '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" I think that a child should be able to see the other parent when they want to, however I also think ... [snip!] ... an established home, until they're a teenager, and then they can choose which parent they want to spend time with and when. "


I agree with letting them choose as they get older, but the "over my dead body would I do 50/50" kinda just threw me. I don't see myself as any more deserving of my daughters time, she loves both parents equally, therefore, equal time.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
12th Jan '13
Quoting whitney ♥ ainsley:" I agree with letting them choose as they get older, but the "over my dead body would I do 50/50" kinda ... [snip!] ... me. I don't see myself as any more deserving of my daughters time, she loves both parents equally, therefore, equal time. "


I don't think it's about not letting someone see another person. I think it's about parenting and a home. co-parenting is hard enough and two people will never parent the same in different houses. Having two different sets of rules for half of the time is not going to be healthy and is probably going to do more bad than good.

BareFootBabyMaker Due May 30 (boy); 2 kids; Springfield, Missouri 850 posts
12th Jan '13
Quoting Derpy Hooves:" She will have daycare/Pre-K, in the day. I'm going to be working 3rd shift though. I am on a wait list ... [snip!] ... shift with relative swiftness, so she can have all her needs for space able to be met in one location. (Preferably my house!)"


Well my this is only my opinion but...
I would move, find a better area with more jobs, apply for assistance, get a student loan and use it to get by until I found a better job.
No way would I take the chance of my baby crying for me and being confused as to why she hasn't seen me in days. No way would I be able to function knowing that I haven't seen her or heard her voice in a day or more and I have to wait until its my "turn" to have her home.
I have the babies...my babies stay with me no matter what. I believe that fathers should be allowed to be apart of their children's life without a doubt, but at the end of the day, they're still not MOMMY!
Its your choice and you will make the best decision for you.
But, how will you feel if your ex gets into a serious relationship and your daughter starts thinking of her as a mom? That would kill me!

BareFootBabyMaker Due May 30 (boy); 2 kids; Springfield, Missouri 850 posts
12th Jan '13
Quoting whitney ♥ ainsley:" I agree with letting them choose as they get older, but the "over my dead body would I do 50/50" kinda ... [snip!] ... me. I don't see myself as any more deserving of my daughters time, she loves both parents equally, therefore, equal time. "

Well actually the quote was.. "And over my dead body would I agree to a 50/50 custody schedule just because of a job"...you should be in politics with that partial quote nonsense

Legendary Yo Mama Due January 31 (boy); 12 kids; 724 posts
12th Jan '13

I signed over custody but I still have my child 95% of the time. There was a Salem witch hunt against me and I had forked out $10k and was unemployed. Screw what the world thinks, the courts are a money making venue and I don't give a rats ass over a dumb piece of paper.
I didn't murder anybody so I really don't care what anybody else thinks. Personally, I think it's none of anyone's business other then the people involved.

whitney ♥ ainsley 1 child; New Hampshire 16454 posts
12th Jan '13
Quoting BareFootBabyMaker:" Well actually the quote was.. "And over my dead body would I agree to a 50/50 custody schedule just because of a job"...you should be in politics with that partial quote nonsense"


:roll: Sorry I didn't feel like scrolling back up the page to quote you word for word.

Phf- ee bee;) Due January 26 (girl); 18 kids; Pennsylvania 5310 posts
12th Jan '13

Honestly, I am judgemental (I admit it) And I would think, unfortuantly, that shes probably unfit.. has issues.. ect. I actually have only known ONE person, and I dont even KNOW know her- just shes someone my friend works with and I hear some of the gossip.... she bartends, sleeps w/ a new guy every other day (tells my friend all about the guys) and since i know SOME of the guys, I'd take a good guess that she does some sort of drug too- plus she lost her licenses due to a DUI.



If my SO & I ever split up, It would more then likely be 50/50 because of our work schedules... and he would fight to see our kids and It would tear me up to have him MISS them, like i would MISS them- so 50/50 would only be fair!

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
12th Jan '13
Quoting Stl mama:" I signed over custody but I still have my child 95% of the time. There was a Salem witch hunt against ... [snip!] ... really don't care what anybody else thinks. Personally, I think it's none of anyone's business other then the people involved."


It's free to go to court for a civil issue. If you spent money it was because you hired a lawyer that was expensive. They get paid off of county budgets, not by the people in the actual courts. (Unless it's criminal, in which case you will need to pay court costs)

Legendary Yo Mama Due January 31 (boy); 12 kids; 724 posts
12th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" It's free to go to court for a civil issue. If you spent money it was because you hired a lawyer that ... [snip!] ... county budgets, not by the people in the actual courts. (Unless it's criminal, in which case you will need to pay court costs)"</blockquote>



Not how it works here.

Vanessa ♥ 1 child; Quincy, Massachusetts 27901 posts
12th Jan '13

are you my FB friend? I haven't been on here in so long, I forget who you are. :oops:

RadioactiveCat 2 kids; Roanoke, VA, United States 22958 posts
12th Jan '13
Quoting Vanessa ♥:" are you my FB friend? I haven't been on here in so long, I forget who you are. :oops:"


I'm not. I only have 3 BG FB friends. I was Mayor Bee for a long time if you remember that SN.

Vanessa ♥ 1 child; Quincy, Massachusetts 27901 posts
12th Jan '13
Quoting Derpy Hooves:" I'm not. I only have 3 BG FB friends. I was Mayor Bee for a long time if you remember that SN."


I was just curious, because I'm in a similar situation. We have 50/50 legal, and he has full physical. It's what works for our family. It was a nasty custody fight, I lost, got him back somewhat, and now we do what works. I have him 1/2 the week, but he technically has 100% physical custody. Everyone thought because of that, I beat my son, or did drugs, or SOMETHING. all it was was that at the time BD had a more stable home than I did, as my son and i got uprooted from my father's when he moved to NH. But everyone assumed the worst right away.



It's absolutely heartbreaking what people thought of me, and what people still think of me.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
12th Jan '13
Quoting Stl mama:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" It's free to go to court for a civil issue. ... [snip!] ... courts. (Unless it's criminal, in which case you will need to pay court costs)"</blockquote> Not how it works here."


http://www.courts.mo.gov/courts/ClerkHandbooksP2RulesOnly.nsf/e2aa3309ef5c449186256be20060c329/31f6aa3e2a2d1de986256c240071225b?OpenDocument

Vanessa ♥ 1 child; Quincy, Massachusetts 27901 posts
13th Jan '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" It's free to go to court for a civil issue. If you spent money it was because you hired a lawyer that ... [snip!] ... county budgets, not by the people in the actual courts. (Unless it's criminal, in which case you will need to pay court costs)"


Not true here. Costs $160 to file for custody, and every time you serve papers you have to pay the court to have a Constable serve them. And that's just the start of the costs.