I am soooooooo sick of everybody telling me there's something wrong with Silas.
He fusses for maybe 5 minutes while I'm preparing his bottle and someone comes out and says "He's not hungry, he's got a stomach ache." uhh.. when the fuck did you become his parent and when the fuck did you pick up on his hunger ques? Oh wait that's right, you're not and you didn't so leave me the hell alone :evil: Every single time he fusses they try to say he's got a tummy ache. They will have NO idea when I fed him last, and they are like "are you sure he's even hungry?!" no, it's only been 3 goddamned hours and he just woke up, I'm pretty damn sure he's hungry.
If he fusses at all, they all automatically assume something is wrong with him and they come and try to take him from me, like I'm not doing a good enough job. I seriously appreciate their help sometimes, but other times I just need to do it y'know? What kind of mom am I if I hand him off to someone every single time he fusses? Their excuse is "Well I don't like seeing you get frustrated because he picks up on that and it upsets him!" who the hell said I was frustrated? I'm sitting here calmly talking to my baby trying to calm him down, holy fucking shit I must be frustrated and about to blow up at a 4 week old :roll: I enjoy calming him down, he makes the cutest faces when he's squealing at me.
He absolutely HATES getting his diaper or clothes changed, I don't know why. I can't tell you how many goddamn times I've been changing his diaper/clothes and he's been screaming at me that they [mainly my mom, but sometimes my grandma too.] come in the room and ask me "What are you DOING to him!?" like I'm fucking torturing him or something. Heaven fucking forbid he cry for a moment while I'm changing his diaper. He makes one peep and I get "Quit pinching my grandbaby!!" ooh my fucking god I am not pinching him, I am not doing anything to him, quit saying that it's driving me up the fucking wall!
It's like he's never supposed to cry or something is terribly wrong with him or he's in pain according to them. Or he will have JUST got done eating and they are like "Well he's probably starving to death, when's the last time you fed him?". Sometimes he just wants to be held goddamnit, he's a month old. my god they are so fucking stupid sometimes and it's like they think I'm not taking care of Silas when I am. I know when he's hungry, I know when I've fed him, I know when he needs his diaper changed. I know when he just wants to be held. I love my child and I take care of him, I know what he needs.
I just don't do anything right I guess. They say I'm doing a great job [which I'm trying to do] but every fucking time I turn around someone is trying to take over when I seriously don't need the help.
I wish they would just leave me alone unless I ask them. I seriously do appreciate the thought, but I need to raise my child and nobody else should be able to tell me what to do with him [specially because I'm doing absolutely nothing wrong.] but I feel like I can't say no to them because their my mom and grandma and grandpa..
I don't even know. It's just starting to piss me off. Yesterday I was trying to make his bottle and I was carrying him too and my grandma just comes up and takes his bottle and she's like "how many ounces?" and in the long run it would have gotten done ALOT quicker if I'd have done it because I had to explain how much to put in and I had to stand there and tell her when the water was warm enough.. I even had to explain to her why you have to follow the directions on the formula can. [with enfamil AR you have to make the bottle and shake it, then let it sit for 5 minutes and shake it again before feeding.] and ofc she thinks it's stupid that I can't just feed him right after shaking the bottle the first time.. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Sorry I follow the goddamned directions on my sons can of food, I'm not taking any chances.
End vent. Sorry it's so long. Thank you to those who actually read all of it. I don't really need advice, I know they are going to keep putting their 2 cents in I just needed to vent before I go insane. Silas isn't the one frustrating me, it's them. If anything, Silas and Jordan are the only 2 people making me genuinely happy right now. Everyone else can just go away -_-
Sounds like its time you need to get your own place.
I know how you feel. MIL and FIL live with DH and I and they drive me insane...not just about DS but about everything. I broke down crying a few nights ago and lol'd at the fact that FIL thought I was frustrated and tired because DS is teething, when in fact, I was crying because I was/am frustrated and tired of them ><
I know how you feel, I dont live with my in laws but sometimes they just drive me nuts and wont let me parent my own damn child. I know their intentions are good but it's almost like they are taking the experience away from me. Also it doesnt help that their methods are from 20 years ago and I actually do know what I am doing.
I was 19 when I had my son Sylas and I lived with my mom.....I used to get frustrated that they would constantly say "you should do it this way" or "you should do it that way" Now years later that I look back I realize that I was also a little insecure that they were judging me and saying all that stuff because they though I was doing it wrong and now I can see it better and realize that they were trying to help and even though it was annoying and frustrating they just had our best interests at hand... The only advice I can offer is to try and let it roll off your shoulders cause if you say something or let yourself get frustrated and freak out youre only going to hurt someones feelings and burn bridges. Just step back and breathe...everything will be okay. My son is 4 and I have a 7 month old daughter now, moved 6 states away and am married....they still call and try to tell me 800 other ways to do it then the way I am. But the confrontation or stress from it isn't worth it... I just say yeah that works for a lot of people but I am trying out a different way and if it doesnt work out I will explore other options, thanks ;)
Doesnt stop them from being pushy but thats just how some families are when theyre kids have kids, just thhink, your mom is probably acting that way cause her mom did to her too....your mom probably felt the same and just doesnt remember.
Quoting Brat ✖ Status:" I was 19 when I had my son Sylas and I lived with my mom.....I used to get frustrated that they would ... [snip!] ... your mom is probably acting that way cause her mom did to her too....your mom probably felt the same and just doesnt remember."
Right, like I said I know they are trying to help and sometimes I do need the help.. but other times I have everything under control. I wish they would just back off and wait until I actually asked for the help. They told me a million times while I was pregnant not to let anyone tell me what to do because "babies don't come with a handbook" and that they would just offer advice and it was up to me if I wanted to follow it or not but since he's actually been here, they just know everything and if I don't do it their way then I'm doing it wrong.
My mom actually wasn't ready to have children and didn't take care of me anyways, my grandma and grandpa raised me while my mom was out partying so I'm not sure if I should trust ANY of her advice lol.
Quoting Elliot Reid:" I know how you feel, I dont live with my in laws but sometimes they just drive me nuts and wont let me ... [snip!] ... experience away from me. Also it doesnt help that their methods are from 20 years ago and I actually do know what I am doing."
:!: that's exactly how I feel. I realize he's crying and screaming and it's taking me awhile to calm him, but let me handle it! that's just part of being a mom and if I don't experience it I'll feel like he's not really my child, I'm just a babysitter or something. Every time, they take him away from me. I had to snap at my mom the other day because he was crying while I was burping him during a bottle and she just comes right in my room and holds out her arms and says "let me see him." I was like "Uh.. No? there's nothing wrong with him, I'm just burping him. You guys take him away from me every fucking chance you get!" I keep dropping hints that I'm upset with how they are telling me what to do but they just keep doing it -_-
Yeah girl, I know it totally sucks. But just remember their intentions are good. If they do something you don't approve of, you need to present valid information when their advice is outdated. Maybe you need to sit down with them and have a small talk.
Be kind, and calm, and explain that you love their help when you need it, but that most the time you got this. You know your baby's cues and cries. My son never liked being changed or dressed in the beginning either. You gotta keep your shit together though. Plus, that's part of living in someone else's home. Yeah, you pay rent, but they are your family. They want to be involved and maybe they truly don't see that line where they shouldn't cross.