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Clk 2 kids; Dexter, Michigan 11944 posts
13th Jan '13
Quoting Conservative MAMA:" He will tussle around with our son sometimes, and hold the baby and change her, but he works 90% of ... [snip!] ... and if we do he does not seem interested and will change the subject.... I don't know he says that this is who he is.. "


Have you tried being very direct with him with how you feel? Are you two affectionate when he is home? Like saying "I love you," snuggling on couch, holding hands, and so forth. A lot of the little stuff keeps us feeling connected.

MommaOfTwoLovies 2 kids; Massachusetts 7181 posts
13th Jan '13
Quoting Clk:" Have you tried being very direct with him with how you feel? Are you two affectionate when he is home? ... [snip!] ... saying "I love you," snuggling on couch, holding hands, and so forth. A lot of the little stuff keeps us feeling connected."


No.. we don't do those things..... He will give me a kiss when he comes home or leaves but that is the extent of the affection. I hugged him the other day and that was the first time in weeks since I've hugged him....

Amelia [a Mom] 1 child; 4 angel babies; Tallahassee, Florida 15366 posts
status 13th Jan '13
Quoting Conservative MAMA:" No.. we don't do those things..... He will give me a kiss when he comes home or leaves but that is the ... [snip!] ... that is the extent of the affection. I hugged him the other day and that was the first time in weeks since I've hugged him...."


I personally would not be happy in a relationship without intimacy. I don't think I could do it. It's pretty vital for a marriage.

Clk 2 kids; Dexter, Michigan 11944 posts
13th Jan '13
Quoting Conservative MAMA:" No.. we don't do those things..... He will give me a kiss when he comes home or leaves but that is the ... [snip!] ... that is the extent of the affection. I hugged him the other day and that was the first time in weeks since I've hugged him...."


Perhaps you two should make an effort to be intimate (not just sex). Start by saying I love you as a greeting when he comes home, and take the opportunities you get to hold hands and cuddle.

LumpySpacePrincess 2 kids; New Zealand 17060 posts
13th Jan '13

I would try to initiate some intimacy. Try and start a date night or something for just the two of you. Get a spark back. He may not even realise what's going on. Not saying that it's your fault just that sometimes we get blinkers on and we are so focused by something (in this case his career), we don't even notice when things are slipping by or that it's even partly our fault

Lin Brown 2 kids; Tunnel Hill, Georgia 1804 posts
13th Jan '13

Sounds like he is just putting his career first, I can understand wanting to reach goals and better lives and what, but I could never stay with someone that put their career before family whether I had a child with him or not

Derp Due January 10; 1 child; Camp Lejeune, NC, United States 11596 posts
13th Jan '13

Yeah, I'm with that person right now. Any lifer in the military has to have a talk with his or her family about the fact that the military often comes first. I wouldn't have it any other way.



With that being said, he has NEVER emotionally neglected me and while he is gone a lot he makes us top priority when he is home.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
13th Jan '13
Quoting Raptor Jesus:" Yeah, I'm with that person right now. Any lifer in the military has to have a talk with his or her family ... [snip!] ... that being said, he has NEVER emotionally neglected me and while he is gone a lot he makes us top priority when he is home. "


I think that your situation is different. I would agree that there are certain jobs where you are "owned" so to speak and your career is a must to be first. Military and many federal jobs of the sorts.

Lin Brown 2 kids; Tunnel Hill, Georgia 1804 posts
13th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Not tellin:</b>" I think that your situation is different. I would agree that there are certain jobs where you are "owned" ... [snip!] ... jobs where you are "owned" so to speak and your career is a must to be first. Military and many federal jobs of the sorts. "</blockquote>




I agree being with someone in the army, military or what ever else is a different situation just because they don't have much options. I'm saying that if it was their choice to put their career first then I would be walking out the door

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44070 posts
13th Jan '13

Omg this thread is making me cry. Damn hormones. That is so sad that he fell asleep on your LO :(



I agree with the other ladies. Before doing anything drastic maybe just try stepping out and initiating affection. Give him more hugs and kisses. I love yous. Plan date nights and set up a sitter so he has no choice. snuggle up when he sits on the couch. Sometimes it takes a little stepping out on your part to make change. While u can't control what he does, you can control what you do. And sometimes that's what it takes to spark an interest again.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
13th Jan '13
Quoting Lin Brown:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Not tellin:</b>" I think that your situation is different. ... [snip!] ... don't have much options. I'm saying that if it was their choice to put their career first then I would be walking out the door"


:!:

Derp Due January 10; 1 child; Camp Lejeune, NC, United States 11596 posts
13th Jan '13
Quoting Not tellin:" I think that your situation is different. I would agree that there are certain jobs where you are "owned" ... [snip!] ... jobs where you are "owned" so to speak and your career is a must to be first. Military and many federal jobs of the sorts. "

Sorry, I was just responding to the very first post. I didn't read much else. I probably should have, lol.