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How to deal with jealous DH?? Madi's*Mama Due November 2; 1 child; Holland, Michigan 7391 posts
13th Jan '13

So DH is incredibly jealous and it's driving me nuts. I have hardly any friends. In HS I had a lot of male friends, but we drifted apart when I got with DH. I had like 2 female friends, and 1 stopped talking to me because I had a girl and she has 2 boys and wants a girl and the other I just don't get to hang out with because of life stuff lol. Well I'm going crazy not talking to anyone but DH so I've started talking to old friends (male) on fb again and I know it's driving DH nuts. I have nothing to hide, DH knows all my passwords for fb and stuff, is always using my phone and I don't care because like I said, I have nothing to hide but it still drives me nuts knowing that just talking on fb is making DH mad so I won't be able to get out of the house and hang out with other people because DH would probably have a heart attack. I'm a SAHM, and DH works 12 hr shifts and if he's not working he's sleeping so I need human interaction and when I talked to him about it his response? 'I thought that's why your always on that blog' yes because i'm bored but it doesn't replace human interaction. Talking to a 10 month old every day doesn't cut it lol. What do I do? Suck it up and make DH happy or deal with an upset husband and cause strain on our marriage? I feel so torn, because I use to be such a social person :(

¡VinHaute! Memphis, Tennessee 43969 posts
13th Jan '13

You put your foot down. You aren't property. You have a right to a social life. Lack of one is obviously causing you distress. If he loved you, he'd want to make sure you're happy.

castaway 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 18092 posts
13th Jan '13

I would join a mommy group. I bet there are ones near you that get together for social things, then you can branch out from there with play dates and the like.



And does he sleep for 12 hours? My husband works usually 14 hours a day, 7 days a week, granted I know this isn't normal, but he makes lots of time for us. (Though he does well on little sleep). He should make you guys a priority though!

Melissa 1 child; Michigan 1409 posts
13th Jan '13

No one should ever not allow you to have friends or go out and socialize. He's controlling you. Why should you have to sacrifice to make him happy when he clearly doesn't care about you being happy?

Maddiesmommy08 Due July 2; 2 kids; Oregon 89 posts
13th Jan '13

talking to males on Facebook is never a good thing . even if you are just friends . reach out to your old girl friend . or find a local mommy group . what would you think if DH talked to a old girl friend on Facebook?

Madi's*Mama Due November 2; 1 child; Holland, Michigan 7391 posts
13th Jan '13
Quoting
Madi's*Mama Due November 2; 1 child; Holland, Michigan 7391 posts
13th Jan '13
Quoting pilot Jess:" I would join a mommy group. I bet there are ones near you that get together for social things, then ... [snip!] ... normal, but he makes lots of time for us. (Though he does well on little sleep). He should make you guys a priority though!"

He gets home a little after 4 am and sleeps until at least noon, eats and maybe plays xbox then goes to work or we just chill.

Madi's*Mama Due November 2; 1 child; Holland, Michigan 7391 posts
13th Jan '13
Quoting Maddiesmommy08:" talking to males on Facebook is never a good thing . even if you are just friends . reach out to your ... [snip!] ... to your old girl friend . or find a local mommy group . what would you think if DH talked to a old girl friend on Facebook? "

Well it's not an old boyfriend, there's never been anything remotely close to romance there we just joke around, and DH has a ton of female friends he chats with.

Melissa 1 child; Michigan 1409 posts
13th Jan '13
Quoting Madi's*Mama:" He gets home a little after 4 am and sleeps until at least noon, eats and maybe plays xbox then goes to work or we just chill. "


Could you make some friends together? Like go out on double dates or hang with other couples? And then maybe he wouldn't be so insecure about you hanging out with friends while he is at work....?

Madi's*Mama Due November 2; 1 child; Holland, Michigan 7391 posts
13th Jan '13
Quoting Mel152009:" No one should ever not allow you to have friends or go out and socialize. He's controlling you. Why should you have to sacrifice to make him happy when he clearly doesn't care about you being happy?"

It's just so confusing to me. He says he knows he needs to get over it but then he is just pissed all the time.

Madi's*Mama Due November 2; 1 child; Holland, Michigan 7391 posts
13th Jan '13
Quoting Mel152009:" Could you make some friends together? Like go out on double dates or hang with other couples? And then maybe he wouldn't be so insecure about you hanging out with friends while he is at work....?"

We try but he hates meeting new people. He had the same friends all through school and those are the friends he is happy with but they don't have gf's. We are starting to hang out more with my sister and her bf but her bf is on house arrest right now so he can't do anything lol

Melissa 1 child; Michigan 1409 posts
13th Jan '13
Quoting Madi's*Mama:" We try but he hates meeting new people. He had the same friends all through school and those are the ... [snip!] ... We are starting to hang out more with my sister and her bf but her bf is on house arrest right now so he can't do anything lol"

I would say that either you meet new people together or he just has to get over it. Tell him you are going to end up resenting him if you don't get to get out of the house and socialize (which you will). My SO doesn't like meeting new people either, but he has no issue with me going out and doing whatever.

Jane.Doe. Fukushima, Japan 2805 posts
13th Jan '13
Quoting Maddiesmommy08:" talking to males on Facebook is never a good thing . even if you are just friends . reach out to your ... [snip!] ... to your old girl friend . or find a local mommy group . what would you think if DH talked to a old girl friend on Facebook? "


whaa??? WHY is talking to men anywhere not a good thing? She isen't looking to cheat, She isent hiding a single thing from her husband, he can read the convos. That is an idiotic thing to say.
I don't get along with other women. They are usually crazy b***hes, NO THANKS! I just get along with men better. There's nothing I can do about it, it's just what happens. It takes a lot of work to find a woman I can get along with. You can try mommy groups and craigslist there's a platonic section you can find other women looking for friends and try to be picky and find ones you can get a long with but that won't fix one of the underlying issues. Maybe ask him if he'd be willing to go to counseling to cope with his unfounded and unnecessary jealousy issues.