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user banned Des Moines, Iowa 1848 posts
15th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jude ♥ JGL:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting TheNuge:</b>" Honestly, i think all you can do is be vigilant ... [snip!] ... problem and help your family have a great life together."</blockquote> It's their shared daughters,.his son I think"</blockquote>




This.

Ƥinkƴ 34 kids; 2 angel babies; Madagascar 23638 posts
15th Jan '13
user banned Des Moines, Iowa 1848 posts
15th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Vivian [♥]:</b>" she's not even responding anymore and I had a question for her and really wanted to help.. ugh"</blockquote>




Sorry, trying to catch back up if anyone's still there.

TheNuge 1 child; Pennsylvania 23055 posts
15th Jan '13
Quoting Safka9973:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jude ♥ JGL:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting TheNuge:</b>" ... [snip!] ... have a great life together."</blockquote> It's their shared daughters,.his son I think"</blockquote> This."


If it's your husband's son, i think HE must take the lead in getting the kid some help as well as one on one bonding.
Dont get me wrong, I'm not saying that you and husband are partners in this, but his dad is his dad and you arent his mom. Of course, I'm assuming you havent raised him from 2+.

May♥ 1 child; Texas 9183 posts
15th Jan '13

This is just very sad and sickening to read. So let me get this straight and correct if I'm wrong... He is not your biological son... he is your DH's son. Now are your girls both yours ans your husbands or just yours?

I love Daisy xxxx Due July 4 (girl); Manchester, United Kingdom 1422 posts
15th Jan '13

maybe see if he could go and live with a family member or at least untill he had been sorted?would be better the him going into these institute things?

user banned Des Moines, Iowa 1848 posts
15th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cockfetti:</b>" My biggest concern would be your girls that are being abused. No offense, but if cps found out, and did ... [snip!] ... more options for all the children involved. They'll also be able to guide you to some services that'll help you financially."</blockquote>




CPS has done an investigation. I think it's still open, I'm not completely certain. They have offered us many ideas such has the home monitoring systems we use.



As for the male therapist vs female therapist, he really didn't connect with the male therapist at all. He did share a little bit more on what happened, but in general we have been very pleased with his interaction with the current female therapist. He is just a very protective and secretive child. He has extreme difficulty in really discussing anything of substance as in emotions and what not. As he's gotten older he seems to open up more and more. He now opens up to me more than DH, bit on general still doesn't want to share anything other than positive feelings and thoughts, and keeps his troubles all to himself.



He is seeing the therapist weekly. This is definitely something that will be discussed with her. He just hasn't been into see her for three weeks due to the winter break. So next week. Until then, ah, it's just very troubling to see an escalation.

user banned Des Moines, Iowa 1848 posts
15th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting TheNuge:</b>" If it's your husband's son, i think HE must take the lead in getting the kid some help as well as ... [snip!] ... are partners in this, but his dad is his dad and you arent his mom. Of course, I'm assuming you havent raised him from 2+."</blockquote>




Raised him from 4. DH has been very proactive throughout, but he just doesn't seem as comfortable in sharing his feelings and troubles with DH as he does me. They have more of a man man relationship- you know, avoiding feelings, wrestling, playing games, outdoor activities and such. All the girls are ours.

user banned Des Moines, Iowa 1848 posts
15th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kayleigh-louise Moran:</b>" maybe see if he could go and live with a family member or at least untill he had been sorted?would be better the him going into these institute things?"</blockquote>




This would be very detrimental to him. He has extreme abandonment issues.



I am certain with everything we have set up in our home and with twp adults always monitoring him, and the girls being older (7&5 now) that he will not be able to act on his impulses. However, I'm worried to see the behavior building again. I don't want to just make my home safe so that he cannot act out. I want to help him heal so he does not have it in him to act out.



Does that make sense?

Ƥinkƴ 34 kids; 2 angel babies; Madagascar 23638 posts
15th Jan '13
user banned 1 child; Portland, Maine 20613 posts
15th Jan '13
Quoting Safka9973:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kayleigh-louise Moran:</b>" maybe see if he could go and live ... [snip!] ... home safe so that he cannot act out. I want to help him heal so he does not have it in him to act out. Does that make sense?"


Just want to say you are an amazing mother for working so hard to get your son the help he needs. I don't know that a lot of parents would be able to deal with this stress.

I love Daisy xxxx Due July 4 (girl); Manchester, United Kingdom 1422 posts
15th Jan '13
Quoting Safka9973:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kayleigh-louise Moran:</b>" maybe see if he could go and live ... [snip!] ... home safe so that he cannot act out. I want to help him heal so he does not have it in him to act out. Does that make sense?"

It does make sense. would just be hard monitering him 24 hours a day

user banned Des Moines, Iowa 1848 posts
15th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Cockfetti:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Safka9973:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Cockfetti:</b>" ... [snip!] ... That being said, if you need to talk, you can pm me. I hope nothing else happens, for everyone's sake. I know it's stressful."</blockquote>




Thank you. Thank all of you for helping me think this through. I have to get dinner and homework finished up, so I will check up after kids bed to see any more responses.

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 22790 posts
15th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Thisperyears:</b>" Just want to say you are an amazing mother for working so hard to get your son the help he needs. I don't know that a lot of parents would be able to deal with this stress."</blockquote>




:!:

I love Daisy xxxx Due July 4 (girl); Manchester, United Kingdom 1422 posts
15th Jan '13

Do you moniter him when he goes to bed aswell?Just incase he goes into there room?