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~The Lunar Flower~ Due January 13; 1 child; Alabama 6738 posts
16th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Lucas'Mama:</b>" It's like they have excuse after excuse as to why they can be lazy shits. My SO doesn't work at the moment. ... [snip!] ... times. Like, he'll hold Lucas for ages when he's sleeping, but when he screams for hours he just leaves me to deal with it :("</blockquote>



I know what you mean. They couldn't do our jobs full time! Lol when we first came home SO would leave me in the bedroom with DS so he could go play the xbox & I had to pretty much ask permission to go take a shower even though DS was sleeping

Loretta West TTC#2 TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 4612 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Lucas'Mama:</b>" It's like they have excuse after excuse as ... [snip!] ... with DS so he could go play the xbox & I had to pretty much ask permission to go take a shower even though DS was sleeping"


You sure we're not married to the same guy? :wink:
Honestly, I got SO mad at him last night. SO, not DS lol. I was like, "oh please, tell me how f**king difficult it is to hold him while he's sleeping. I feel SO bad for you because it's just so hard. Try holding him while he's going all stiff, screaming, trying to scratch your eyes out and headbutting every part of you he can reach. Or try having him attached to your nipples 24/7. Then complain to me about how f**king hard it is". I lost the plot a bit last night lol I was just SO tired and stressed out. I love DS but it's freaking hard when they're grumpy.



Btw, I don't know what it is about your AVI but I absolutely love it. It kinda reminds me of one of the pics of Lucas I have, but I have no idea why coz they're not similar at all :P

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55982 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting Lucas'Mama:" We've gotten to that point as well. I've had enough. We've had a few serious fights where I've almost ... [snip!] ... a bit too much coffee, and have been eating like a horse. I've been starving for the past two days, I don't know why lol."


LOL. Baby is in growth spurt mode. When that happens you get hungry too! Less caffine and more water. That will help you imensely.



We went to marriage counseling. Our counselor who was male looked at him and asked him why he thought he shouldn't have to do anything and why it was all my responsibility. When hubby said because he works outside the home and he didn't think it was fair that he forfit his days off to do my work. I thought the counselor was going to smack him. lol We have come a long way. It took a lot of work for sure. Some guys just don't "get it". My husband was the jerk who expected me to get up and take care of the kids and cook dinner after I was released from the hospital from an emergency surgery (they went thru my c-section to take care of a cantalope size cyst that ruptured and tore my left fallopian tube). I was furious. All I wanted was to relax a bit for a slight change. Now, he knows that if he totes close to that line he will lose his family because at the end of the day we are in fact a family. We support each other and help each other. There is no "so and so does more" in our home. We all pull together to make it happen and that is what my kids now 4 and 2 are learning.

Loretta West TTC#2 TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 4612 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting Not tellin:" LOL. Baby is in growth spurt mode. When that happens you get hungry too! Less caffine and more water. ... [snip!] ... "so and so does more" in our home. We all pull together to make it happen and that is what my kids now 4 and 2 are learning. "


See thats what I want DS to learn. But SO is all, "we have to split things evenly, I'll cook if you do the dishes" kind of thing. It's really juvenile. Like, why should he get to spend $20 on weed just because I bought $20 credit for my phone that we BOTH use? Idk, it drives me nuts. There's financial issues that I'm repressing as well lol.
We've considered councilling but honestly, I don't think we could afford it. i'm going to look into it though because every time we fight I'm getting angrier. Last time we had a huge argument I honestly felt the urge to slap him and that's never happened before. Kinda freaks me out. I don't want DS coming from a broken home :(

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55982 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting Lucas'Mama:" See thats what I want DS to learn. But SO is all, "we have to split things evenly, I'll cook if you ... [snip!] ... felt the urge to slap him and that's never happened before. Kinda freaks me out. I don't want DS coming from a broken home :("

A lot of times you can look into your community center and see if they have them for free. Insurance will also cover them.

Loretta West TTC#2 TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 4612 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting Not tellin:" A lot of times you can look into your community center and see if they have them for free. Insurance will also cover them. "


I'm in another country, I'm not sure how it works here :( I definitely want to look into it though.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55982 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting Lucas'Mama:" I'm in another country, I'm not sure how it works here :( I definitely want to look into it though."


I can only assume it would be fairly similar. Worth a shot to look into anyway.

Loretta West TTC#2 TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 4612 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting Not tellin:" I can only assume it would be fairly similar. Worth a shot to look into anyway."

I thought maybe a church or something would help.. But I dunno if it'd be subsidised because we're only 23 and not married? If that's the case I guess we'll just have to save up for it :?

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55982 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting Lucas'Mama:" I thought maybe a church or something would help.. But I dunno if it'd be subsidised because we're only 23 and not married? If that's the case I guess we'll just have to save up for it :?"


I don't know why I didn't suggest that. Churches are very good at offering couples counseling. Go to a non demoninational (that doesn't look spelled right) church and you will have less "issues".

Loretta West TTC#2 TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 4612 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting Not tellin:" I don't know why I didn't suggest that. Churches are very good at offering couples counseling. Go to a non demoninational (that doesn't look spelled right) church and you will have less "issues". "


Denominational? I think that's the correct spelling lol. I don't know if there are any around, I'll definitely look into it though. We both have issues from previous relationships but it isn't about just us anymore. DS doesn't need to grow up seeing us fighting. We're both stubborn so once one of us gets pissed off it usually lasts for hours and hours and ends up in screaming matches. Not healthy at all :(

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55982 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting Lucas'Mama:" Denominational? I think that's the correct spelling lol. I don't know if there are any around, I'll ... [snip!] ... so once one of us gets pissed off it usually lasts for hours and hours and ends up in screaming matches. Not healthy at all :("


Oh for sure. Work thru them. Trust me, it is hard hard work. But so well worth it.

Mama Lizzy :] 1 child; Texas 5575 posts
16th Jan '13

Man maybe I should be making my guy do more....he plays with him for like 20 mins when he gets home and thats it....maybe a diaper change once a month....He has never got up with him during the night....guess I just felt like it was all me cus I'm a STAHM :(



But yeah that following you around crap would drive me crazy!

Loretta West TTC#2 TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 4612 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting Not tellin:" Oh for sure. Work thru them. Trust me, it is hard hard work. But so well worth it. "


Agreed. I just want Lucas to have what we never had.. Two parents that don't hate each other lol

Loretta West TTC#2 TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 4612 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting Mama Lizzy :]:" Man maybe I should be making my guy do more....he plays with him for like 20 mins when he gets home and ... [snip!] ... night....guess I just felt like it was all me cus I'm a STAHM :( But yeah that following you around crap would drive me crazy!"

See that shit would NOT fly with me.. SO is usually really good with changing LO and playing with him and stuff, he just doesn't seem to notice when I'm reaching the end of my tether and that's when he does dumb shit like sitting on the xbox for hours or going down to the sleepout to smoke with his father for two hours. :roll:
He's never got up with LO at night but that's just because I'm EBF and try not to give Lucas a bottle unless I need to. He actually wanted to at one point, but it would be pointless coz I'd get up anyway. He looks after him in the mornings sometimes when I really need sleep.
IMO just because they work doesn't excuse them for all baby-raising duties. They work 40 hours a week? We work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We don't get overtime, weekends, annual leave. Hell, I can't even go to the bathroom by myself unless SO is home.

Dr. Elliot Reid 1 child; New Zealand 8776 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting Lucas'Mama:" See that shit would NOT fly with me.. SO is usually really good with changing LO and playing with him ... [snip!] ... days a week. We don't get overtime, weekends, annual leave. Hell, I can't even go to the bathroom by myself unless SO is home."

Haha same. I take her to the bathroom with me so I know where she is, and when she hears me peeing she starts laughing lol