Tears! Glamour PINK 1 child; 1 angel baby; Irvington, New Jersey 96 posts
16th Jan '13

Where do I begin? 2 years ago I had an abortion because I was raped by my ex boyfriend. We went out for his birthday and he slipped something in my drink. This is a boyfriend I been with for 3 years but we never had sex. At the time we were together I was a virgin. When we broke up we remained friends 10 years after. Those 10 years went by so quick without any drama. We became like best friends. Until that night. The last thing I remember was waking up when he was pulling out. Long story short, a child was developed. Having an abortion was the 1st thing that came to mind. Lord forgive me. I was not sure about anything in my life!! I never had one done but I was nervous. I was fully awake. Heard the vacuum sound and everything. Vowed to never do that again. SCAREY!!!

My daughter father and I are expecting our 2nd and he says it's not the right time. He wants to get a better job and I want to finish school. He thinks our 3 year old hasn't grown up enough to lose our attention so fast. Because the baby will need a lot of our attention. He says we're cheating her out of her baby days. Sounds like bullshit right? I want my baby and finish school. I just wish he could be supportive. He already started acting like a jerk. We got into and argument about something and he said, f**k you! I don't want you carry anymore of my kids! Ever! I was hurt and numb at the same time. He carried on like this in front of our 3 year old. Poor kid never seen her daddy carry on like that. I'm getting unemployment after losing my job after hurricane sandy. I do plan to be back out to work soon doing CNA. But college is what I planned for. But why can't I do both? Abortion cant possibly be an option when we already have a kid together!!!!!!!!

Donna Jo Tanner 1 child; Beach Haven, New Jersey 6440 posts
16th Jan '13

It's your choice and body, not his. It's whatever YOU want.

And as far as your 3 years old goes. He seems to be the one cheating her out because he's fighting with you in front of her.

I'm sorry momma, good luck.

† Phoenix † 1 angel baby; 16167 posts
16th Jan '13

Do what you feel is right! Don't let him pressure you into it if you don't want to. Sit down and do a pros and cons list for both keeping and raising the baby and abortion and see what out ways what to make sure abortion is right for you.

xyxy 2 kids; 4 angel babies; ldn, uk, United Kingdom 160 posts
16th Jan '13

I've sent you a PM x

justanothamotha Due January 20; 130 kids; Climax, Michigan 5120 posts
16th Jan '13

He is being ridiculous. I am sorry you are going through this momma. A child that age is plenty old enough to handle a sibling. Mine are 3 yrs apart & I've never once thought #1 was loosing out on anything. In fact I felt that it was a blessing to him to have a sibling.

You do what you need to do & he will either come around in time or he isn't worth it anyway. I hate saying that. I know you love him. If you have to have an abortion to have a happy relationship with him, then there isn't much hope for a happy marriage long term anyway.

Moi H* 2 kids; Columbia, SC, United States 2224 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting justanothamotha:" He is being ridiculous. I am sorry you are going through this momma. A child that age is plenty old enough ... [snip!] ... to have an abortion to have a happy relationship with him, then there isn't much hope for a happy marriage long term anyway."

:!: I agree with her. You already know how I feel about this. It's up to you when it comes to what you want to do with your body. As far as the age thing? My son will be 3 on the 26th. I'm due on the 7th. He is crazy excited about his little sister and ready for her to come home. My parents had 6 children, all 2 years apart, and we grew up just fine.

If it wasn't the "right time" for him, he should've been wrapping it up. And arguing in front of Savannah? That's only doing more harm than good on his part. I'm rambling, but you have to do what you feel is best for you. Plain and simple.

Ꭶwan♥Nemo 1 child; Kansas City, Missouri 7416 posts
16th Jan '13

Oh hun :(
Like the others said, it's your body and if YOU dont want an abortion, then dont get one. It entirely possible for you to finish school, have a baby and any other dreams you have. Im sure your 3 year old will be EXCITED to be a big sister, not feel "cheated."

thisunrest India 10364 posts
16th Jan '13

I'm sorry mama!

More than anything, I bet he doesn't mean it! As inappropriate as his behavior is, he's probably just afraid that he won't be able to provide for two children like he wants to. You mentioned he wants a better job. It's a point of pride for a man that he can provide and protect ( however that means to the two of you as a couple) his mate and offspring, and times are going to get tighter with a new baby.

It's just something that will have to be worked around,financially.

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
16th Jan '13

I'm sorry you're going through this. I got pregnant with my second just after my first turned a year old. They are 11 and 9 now. My second was 3 when I got pregnant with my third, and he was 4 when she was born. Now, my youngest is 5 and I'm pregnant with my 4th. I am currently in school(I go online, which really works well because I was on bedrest with my 2nd and 3rd babies, and won't miss class if I go on bed rest with this it would give me something to do).

You do what is best for you.