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Formerly and/or Currently Pregnant Ladies Bree-L Due May 18; 2 kids; California 270 posts
16th Jan '13

Ok - I need some advice!



My husband and I got into a huge, emotional fight yesterday where he came out and told me that he feels like he doesn't have a partner anymore because I am always asleep or not feeling well (I'm pregnant and in my first trimester). We haven't had sex in about a month (I can't say exactly why, I just don't want to right now). Anyway, he's tired of doing everything and not having his wife. I felt horrible when he told me this, it's not like I LIKE being lifeless, but it just feels so out of my control :(



My question is - have any of you ladies been through this? If so, what did you do?



Thanks in advance!

Chellie 3 kids; Vegas, Nv, United States 4816 posts
16th Jan '13

We have gone through that, including the no sex and it only gets worse after the baby is born. We sat down and talked about it and he realized that I need more help around the house than he thinks. Just because I stay home doesn't mean I can do everything on my own. As for sex, we both make an effort for it but now it seems like once a week or less often and neither of us like it but by the end of the day we are both usually beat.

DifferentDay Due June 2; 34 kids; Tennessee 3473 posts
16th Jan '13

Yea hubby's gonna go 4-5 months of no sex, then add in pp waiting. He's bummed but unlike my last two kids I have absolutely NO sex drive whatsoever. I was/still am drop dead tired so I nap frequently. He gets grumpy but gets over it. I try to be intimate in other ways like hand jobs, making out. Etc. Ur guy is prolly feeling left out and neglected. If he works while ur home try to nap so ur awake to spend time together later. Usually 2 nd trimester is when I'd want sex all the time so you might go through that still. Trust me, if that ends up being the case you won't hear him complain or bitch bout your 1st trimester dry spell ;)

Freya D Due December 27; 1 child; Brookings, Oregon 1196 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting Bree-L:" Ok - I need some advice! My husband and I got into a huge, emotional fight yesterday where he came ... [snip!] ... out of my control :( My question is - have any of you ladies been through this? If so, what did you do? Thanks in advance!"


sounds like he is being VERY insensitive and need to get over it that is how most women feel the last few months. SO was the same way it i told him to grow the fuck up and that what i was doing was more demanding then any thing he will ever have to do

Bree-L Due May 18; 2 kids; California 270 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting DifferentDay:" Yea hubby's gonna go 4-5 months of no sex, then add in pp waiting. He's bummed but unlike my last two ... [snip!] ... that still. Trust me, if that ends up being the case you won't hear him complain or bitch bout your 1st trimester dry spell ;)"

HAHA! So you get it! LOL Well, I've been pregnant before (I have 1 son), but I was completely the opposite with him; I wanted sex ALL THE TIME! This pregnancy has me DEAD tired and with NO sex drive! I feel lifeless! Unfortunately, I have a full-time job, so napping during the day is out of the question. :(

Bree-L Due May 18; 2 kids; California 270 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting Freya D:" sounds like he is being VERY insensitive and need to get over it that is how most women feel the last ... [snip!] ... same way it i told him to grow the fuck up and that what i was doing was more demanding then any thing he will ever have to do "

You're absolutely right! I think he's used to me doing everything! Before I got pregnant, I cleaned the entire house by myself all the time, did all the laundry, cooking. I did almost everything. I think he got so used to being waited on that now he doesn't know how to handle me doing absolutely nothing every day except working and bringing home a paycheck and creating his child! I'd say that's a damn lot! LOL

Freya D Due December 27; 1 child; Brookings, Oregon 1196 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting Bree-L:" You're absolutely right! I think he's used to me doing everything! Before I got pregnant, I cleaned the ... [snip!] ... absolutely nothing every day except working and bringing home a paycheck and creating his child! I'd say that's a damn lot! LOL"


yup same with us he works and i keep the house and raise the kids. he will most likely not understand at all till after you have the baby then he still wont 100% get it

Freya D Due December 27; 1 child; Brookings, Oregon 1196 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting Bree-L:" You're absolutely right! I think he's used to me doing everything! Before I got pregnant, I cleaned the ... [snip!] ... absolutely nothing every day except working and bringing home a paycheck and creating his child! I'd say that's a damn lot! LOL"


i was VERY lucky that i didn't / don't need to work i couldnt imaging working and being pregnant

DifferentDay Due June 2; 34 kids; Tennessee 3473 posts
16th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Bree-L:</b>" HAHA! So you get it! LOL Well, I've been pregnant before (I have 1 son), but I was completely the opposite ... [snip!] ... with NO sex drive! I feel lifeless! Unfortunately, I have a full-time job, so napping during the day is out of the question. :("</blockquote>




Stop catering to him :) IMO he should be rubbing your feet, talking to belly, not being selfish like that. See you have another kid that all takes a toll. I have a near 2 n near 4 yr old. They are very active and by 8pm I'm ready to stop. Hubby gets done work at 11pm but when kids nap, I nap so I can stay up and spend an hour or two w him before bed. Yeah he bugs/begs for sex but I just had to lay it out straight- it's not him. I'm very much attracted to him still just it's just me there's no drive there. (Tmi I don't get excited either). Now when we do its fricking great but its even getting started and enjoying it that's the hurdle.

Krysta Whisenant Due February 20 (boy); Sacramento, California 1 posts
16th Jan '13

he needs to understand that every pregnancy is different. In my first trimester my man asked but knew better than to touch me... lol maybe later on u will get ur sex drive back. because once i got halfway thru my second mine sure came back. but now im 34 weeks im slowly fading out of it . doing to much throughout ur pregnancy can cause harm to u. for example ive developed an umbilical hernia from carrying too much weight. all i was doing was laundry. You lose so much energy and its understandable ur growing a human inside of u. that takes soooo much energy and nutrients from u. you need sleep and lots of help. pregnancy shouldnt be hard just for u! It takes teamwork...

AaliyahVal'sMommy 1 child; 1 angel baby; Cleveland, Ohio 1364 posts
16th Jan '13

I have a low sex drive and he felt i was losing interest in him.

Bree-L Due May 18; 2 kids; California 270 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting DifferentDay:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Bree-L:</b>" HAHA! So you get it! LOL Well, I've been pregnant ... [snip!] ... I don't get excited either). Now when we do its fricking great but its even getting started and enjoying it that's the hurdle."

You're right! Absolutely! I have stopped catering to him (now that I'm pregnant and have no energy to), but I think he's still used to how it used to be. Hopefully, he'll get over it. Hopefully, the sex drive comes back soon! It really isn't HIM, it's me...as cheesy as that sounds. lol

Bree-L Due May 18; 2 kids; California 270 posts
16th Jan '13
Quoting Krysta Whisenant:" he needs to understand that every pregnancy is different. In my first trimester my man asked but knew ... [snip!] ... much energy and nutrients from u. you need sleep and lots of help. pregnancy shouldnt be hard just for u! It takes teamwork..."


You're right! Thanks girly! I wasn't' sure if I was in the wrong here!