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If your husband died? Jane.Doe. Fukushima, Japan 2805 posts
19th Jan '13


My SO's father died last march very suddenly and unexpectedly. He was diagnosed with cancer and less than two weeks later was dead. It was a huge shock to everyone naturally.



My SO's parents were together forever, he's never known anything else...



Not even 4 months after his fahter's passing, SO's mother was spending quite a bit of time with a male friend. A lot of time. And I now know that she's been sleeping with him :-\ Not even a year later... that just seems... wayyyyyy too fuckin soon to me. I know a ton will say it's none of my business, and I won't say a word to her, she'll live her life the way she wants.



But what do you think? If your husband died after 35+ years of marriage, do you think you could jump back into the saddle that quickly? They had a very happy marriage, SO says he can't think of a single time they ever had a real fight, they were the perfect couple. It just seems odd to me.

vagina. 3 kids; Titz, No, Germany 30924 posts
19th Jan '13

I don't think I could. But everyone grieves differently, maybe that's her way of filling the void she has.

Boobo&bugs 2 kids; Simpsonville, South Carolina 7804 posts
status 19th Jan '13

Everyone grieves in different ways. I'm not sure what I would do. But I'm sure your SO wouldn't want his mother not doing anything but being visibly sad. I think that would be worse than her dating personally. I don't think it's that strange. Plus he only saw the relationship from the outside. You're never really sure what happens in a relationship unless you are one of the two people in it.

Andreahhh 1 child; San Antonio, Texas 8745 posts
19th Jan '13

I couldn't. But, maybe she's just afraid to be alone, so she's finding companionship to fill that void.

~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
19th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting i made a vagina.:</b>" I don't think I could. But everyone grieves differently, maybe that's her way of filling the void she has."</blockquote>



This! I couldn't do it but maybe she knows no other way to grieve or she's very lonely?

♥MomToSilas+1♥ Due December 9; 1 child; ., IL, United States 11648 posts
19th Jan '13

Its probably just her way of grieving. Or she just wants to fill the emptiness in her life/heart. I personally don't think I could do it but i don't know because I'm not in her position.

Jane.Doe. Fukushima, Japan 2805 posts
19th Jan '13
Quoting i made a vagina.:" filling the void she has."


Literally. Giggity.



I'm going to Hell.



My SO is really upset about the whole thing honestly..and it just makes it harder on me because she tells me things I do NOT need to know and I know it would kill him. He jokingly tells her he's going to make the guy disappear and stuff, but I know he won't tell his mom how upset it really makes him because he just wants her happy but he really really isen't ok with it...and she is bringing HIM with her to our wedding next month and they are sharing a hotel room and it's just..yeh...fucking awkward and weird. We've never even met this guy and she's bringing him from NY to CO for our wedding...

Mrs. Conan O'Brien 2 kids; Colorado 20924 posts
19th Jan '13

I can't say I blame her. Idk what I'd do but I know I'd be miserable & trying to feel otherwise.

Elena Gilbert 4 kids; La Center, KY, United States 2730 posts
19th Jan '13

my hubby passed away oct 2011, I am a currently dating again.. Its hard. and I miss him every single day. but It sucks being alone 24/7. we were married a year and half when he passed but we were together for 3 years. maybe shes just lonely.

Jane.Doe. Fukushima, Japan 2805 posts
19th Jan '13

I can't stand my SO a lot of the time but I don't think I'd be up to dating for a good long while if I lost him. But I've been alone a lot before. I hate it, but it isen't a new thing for me.

user banned Vancouver, British Columbia 5643 posts
19th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Reynolds:</b>" Literally. Giggity. I'm going to Hell. My SO is really upset about the whole thing honestly..and ... [snip!] ... just..yeh...fucking awkward and weird. We've never even met this guy and she's bringing him from NY to CO for our wedding..."</blockquote>




Can you tell her your SO isn't really comfortable with another man going to the wedding?
You don't have the right to tell her who she can and cannot sleep with but you do have a right to say who is at your wedding.

Carters mama <3 Due February 19; 1 child; Portland, Oregon 5032 posts
19th Jan '13

I can't see myself doing that, but after being with someone fr so long it's probably hard being alone all of a sudden.
When my moms mom died my grandpa started talking to who I know as my grandma pretty quickly after. Like two weeks I think. Then they were married I think a year or so later I wanna say. It really pissed my mom off, but my grandma and grandpa are really great with each other. My grandpa was with mom for I think 20+ years (since he was a teenager) before she passed away so I don't think he knew how to be alone.

Jane.Doe. Fukushima, Japan 2805 posts
19th Jan '13

She's doing a LOT for us as far as the wedding goes, I don't think I could muster up the courage to say something honestly :-\ Will try talking to SO about it tomorrow and see how he feels about it. Just seems like a terrible time to introduce your new bf.. anytime this guy comes up in conversation my SO gets more upset about his dad being gone and I don't want him mourning his father when we should be celebrating our marriage you know? I want him to be happy :(

vagina. 3 kids; Titz, No, Germany 30924 posts
19th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Reynolds:</b>" Literally. Giggity. I'm going to Hell. My SO is really upset about the whole thing honestly..and ... [snip!] ... just..yeh...fucking awkward and weird. We've never even met this guy and she's bringing him from NY to CO for our wedding..."</blockquote>



Unwashed going to sale hole..but I didn't think that was appropriate lmao.




Let her know your so isn't comfortable with that. I'm sure she'll understand.

♥. 2 kids; making moves in, TX, United States 1114 posts
19th Jan '13

I don't think i'd be able to either.. but then again she might just be doing to compensate for his passing lots of women use that as a coping method to get through a break up, a loss, etc... It's just their way of numbing the pain somehow, I wouldn't be able to do it though.