I am getting really aggravated with SO trying to keep my family from our daughter. Like when we took the baby to visit my grandmother, she has a slightly hyper small dog. He was running around happy to see us and of course, interested in the baby because he'd never seen one. My grandmother didn't let him in her lap when she was holding DD but he had his nose up, sniffing. Well, my SO kicked him.
When we went to SO's mom's house, she had all four blue heelers in the house, and the one that tried to rip my face off and has bitten SO's 8 yr old cousin and a 5 year old stranger IN THE FACE was right up in my MIL's lap while she was holding DD and he didn't say shit.
When we came home from the hospital, my Mom asked to visit and she brought my niece with her. SO was like "Your mom asked if SHE could visit. I will physically remove anyone else from the house." I was like WTF??? He brought the bassinet in the living room so they could look at her instead of hold her. I was furious and picked her up and placed her in my niece's arms.
When my dad and his mom came to meet the baby, SO left and waited in the car until he saw them leave. They brought us dinner and had planned to visit but he ruined that.
When we went to visit his mom, she didn't ask at all, she just said one day "The family is coming over in a few minutes to meet the baby." I didn't care, I think it was nice they all came. But in this instance, the family was all six of her siblings and their kids and her parents. Again, he didn't say shit, but my mom brings my niece who has never done anything to us, and he wants to bar her from entering our house.
We took the baby to my family's christmas and he sat with DD in the car seat in his lap and wouldn't get any food or open presents because he'd have to relinquish her. People were asking if he'd set the car seat down so they could look at her and he ignored them entirely.
We drove five hours to take her to visit his family since they live far away. Then we drove two more to take her to his biological dad's house. I wanted to take her to meet my sister and the rest of my nieces and nephews (also a five hour drive), he was pissed off.
I love how he's got control issues with my family but when we are at home or at his family's, he doesn't touch her at all. Someone else can hold her. Someone else can feed her. Someone else can change diapers. I am so fed up with this shit I'm ready to move in with my relatives.
i would definitely bring it up to him. that's b.s. imo.
He sounds like a controlling asshole. Sorry :(
There's NO way I could be with someone like that.
That's really bizarre.
Have their always been issues between your family and him?
Yeah, that's absolutely ridiculous.
I would either have a discussion with him about how that shit won't fly anymore or I'd take my daughter and move in with my family.
I would NEVER be able to deal with that. I'd be SOO pissed.
<blockquote><b>Quoting Kass.:</b>" He sounds like a controlling asshole. Sorry :( There's NO way I could be with someone like that."</blockquote>
I brought it up to him, how unfair he is, and you know what he said? "They already have five grand/great grandkids." because my sister has five. Why can't my family be excited about our baby and want to be part of her life? Just because my sister had five before me. I think that's just an excuse. I can't even stand to be in the same room with him anymore and he's over here asking me when is my post partum checkup to see if we can have sex again.... AS IF WE WILL BE, ugh.
Just stick with telling SO how you feel and what you want from his family/your family... Dogs are an issue around babies and I understand him wanting the little dog away from your LO but kicking it is extreme! And as for the dogs on his family's side I would have kept that One WELL AWAY!!! If you're worried about something, just take your LO away... Damn your the one who carried her for 9 months and far birth to her! If whatever happens makes you uncomfortable ten just stop whatever it is... I know it can be hard with certain characters like MIL's but forthw safety of the baby and your piece of mind, it's for the best!
Quoting Captain Obvious:" That's really bizarre. Have their always been issues between your family and him?"
My family and him have always had issues. My family tends to keep it kind of mild and vent to me about him, but he has always been openly hostile toward them. He thinks they are too involved with us... so he wants to "set a precedent" that "we" (which really means him because I don't agree with his measures) have the final say with DD and how she is raised etc etc. I think who gets to hold her has nothing at all to do with "how she is raised" and he just wants to prove who is in control. Blah.
I'm sitting here wondering how can you be with someone like that...I would flip my shit if DH acted that way towards my family. That is absolutely ridiculous....there's no way in hell I would let my kids grow up around such a controlling asshole.
Quoting Kass.:" He sounds like a controlling asshole. Sorry :( There's NO way I could be with someone like that."
Tell that dude to slow his role and get the fuck over it.
Quoting iLL-Legal Alien:" I'm sitting here wondering how can you be with someone like that...I would flip my shit if DH acted that ... [snip!] ... family. That is absolutely ridiculous....there's no way in hell I would let my kids grow up around such a controlling asshole."
I do flip my shit. Before, when it was just us (and we were not ever planning to have children, never ever), he would kind of get into that and I'd tell him they were my family and even if they had issues and were a hassle sometimes, there would never be a cut off situation. It didn't matter as much because we both just did what we wanted where my family was concerned -- I went to holidays and get togethers with them and he stayed home (or went and complained and was hostile the whole time). Now there is a child and I really don't want to bring her up around him acting like that and treating my family that way. He literally told me yesterday that if something ever happened to me, my family would never see her. I mean they are some dysfunctional people, sometimes extreme -- but not even like supervised visits at mcDonald's or something, just that they would NEVER see her at all. I got so upset I didn't talk to him for the rest of the day. Still haven't.
<blockquote><b>Quoting [♥]Mrs. Morgan:</b>" Yeah, that's absolutely ridiculous. I would either have a discussion with him about how that shit won't fly anymore or I'd take my daughter and move in with my family."</blockquote>
Wow. He has serious issues