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What would you do? Chels :3 Florida 2017 posts
21st Jan '13

SO has a three year old son, and a very uncooperative ex. Who isn't very happy I'm pregnant in the first. The plan was after Jan 4. She would keep him full time, (Her idea) because I was getting closer to term meaning closer to labor. I'm 37 weeks now, and after having him a week (He had his tonsils out), he was "Too much for her" (which is weird she always threatens taking him full time from my SO) and we went back to regular Sun-Tues that's 3 days out of 7 not much, but then there are the day's of the week where she's supposed to have him but 'wants to go out' etc., the rest of the week is supposed to be hers. I asked my SO to talk to her about what we were to do if I went into labor while he was here. Which is always a possibility. He STILL has not, and I'm already progressing. She doesn't want him going to my sisters 3 blocks down the road (in a way I understand but that is our only option short of bringing him with us to the hospital). And there's NO way we're making the trip to her apartment cross town from the hospital (That makes an hour and a half to get to the hospital that's only 30 minutes away from our home), nor waiting for her to cross town to get to us. So we'd end up bringing him to the hospital where again SHE does not want him being (and honestly I don't think I'd handle a 3 year old very well while in Labor). SO would have to be away from my while I'm in labor waiting in the the waiting room, for her or her parents to pick their little boy up. And All that time I'll be alone (We don't really have any family aside from my sister and she's not an option for this next week after Feb. 1st she will be) I'm really upset that my SO hasn't spoken to her about this yet. If my water breaks I want to clean up and get to the hospital, fast labors run in my family and I do not want to have a car baby... And I can see her getting to the hospital causing a scene, delaying SO from getting back to where I am. I'm really upset at the idea of him missing his daughters birth because he's arguing with his ex.



The other option which isn't an option until Feb 1st. Is Screw my SO and call my sister (The only family that I do have) have her take me to the hospital. And not care whether SO is there or not. I really don't know what to do. I want to be able to have a plan though I know those fall through but it still helps if we have him I'd like to know what we're doing. She doesn't seem to want to work with us at all on this. And knowing her she'll take as long as humanly possible to get to wherever my SO is with their little boy to come pick him up, and then argue with him. She's the type that does everything in her power to separate my SO and I for as long as possible.



What would you do?

lamr - 02-08-13-21 2 kids; Crazytown, ON, Canada 5922 posts
21st Jan '13

I'd tell her that she can pick him up from your sisters

Chels :3 Florida 2017 posts
21st Jan '13
Quoting lamr - 02-08-13-21:" I'd tell her that she can pick him up from your sisters"


My SO is dead set against pissing her off. Which Idky our situations better and she just proved she can't handle her own son for more than a week. Yet she threatens to take him full time all the time.

Single_Mama 20 kids; Nebraska 5036 posts
21st Jan '13
Quoting lamr - 02-08-13-21:" I'd tell her that she can pick him up from your sisters"


This!!

Thats rude of her to not even care about your situation.

Chels :3 Florida 2017 posts
21st Jan '13
Quoting Single_Mama:" This!! Thats rude of her to not even care about your situation."


It is, and she's such a b***h to my SO that I feel like I have to be the good guy all the time, and when I'm a b***h about it, I end up sounding like I don't wan this kid around. It sucks! She doesn't care because he new boy wont give her anymore kids and then I got pregnant etc., she then said she can't have any kids that she wants to spoil my little girl. BUT still wont give me the time of day she say's all this to my SO! It's so annoying. I almost want to cry but I know that's hormones. No one would dare do this to her when she were to go into labor.

S U Z I E 3 kids; Venezuela 18554 posts
21st Jan '13
Quoting Chelsea :3:" SO has a three year old son, and a very uncooperative ex. Who isn't very happy I'm pregnant in the first. ... [snip!] ... him. She's the type that does everything in her power to separate my SO and I for as long as possible. What would you do?"

Maybe take him to the hospital with you and have your sister watch him in the waiting room and just not tell his ex that she's watching him? She can find out when she gets there and when she does, f**k her, it will be too late for her to say anything! That way, hubby won't have to leave your side! What a b***h...:?

Chels :3 Florida 2017 posts
21st Jan '13
Quoting S U Z I E:" Maybe take him to the hospital with you and have your sister watch him in the waiting room and just not ... [snip!] ... does, f**k her, it will be too late for her to say anything! That way, hubby won't have to leave your side! What a b***h...:?"


I've been so civil about her issues. And this is just too much now. That's a good idea. But on the off chance I go into labor between now and Wednesday. I'm screwed. My sisters radio active till the first LOL sorry that's fun to say. (Medical test I'm not to be near her) The thing is my contraction have started getting more time able these past few days. And I'm worried. It's a good possibility I wont still for another 3 weeks, but it's also possible I could go tomorrow. The maybes are worth taking a look at in this situation usually I wouldn't care.

Single_Mama 20 kids; Nebraska 5036 posts
21st Jan '13
Quoting Chelsea :3:" It is, and she's such a b***h to my SO that I feel like I have to be the good guy all the time, and ... [snip!] ... so annoying. I almost want to cry but I know that's hormones. No one would dare do this to her when she were to go into labor. "


I wouldn't even stress about it anymore. The good thing if you go into labor your sister is willing to keep him until his mom can pick him up. Your SO has to understand that. That way you and your SO can drop him off and go to the hospital together...end of story.
Try not to worry since you have a back up plan.. relax as much as you can and enjoy the rest of your pegnancy..or at least try to.

Chels :3 Florida 2017 posts
21st Jan '13
Quoting Single_Mama:" I wouldn't even stress about it anymore. The good thing if you go into labor your sister is willing ... [snip!] ... not to worry since you have a back up plan.. relax as much as you can and enjoy the rest of your pegnancy..or at least try to."


I like the at leas try to. I am pretty uncomfortable :P



I'm thinking about maybe having my sister come here, and watch him if it happens. Like somehow meeting the middle? Again this is if that testing weirdness is over with her by then. But thanks ladies. I'm trying not to stress but I already lack normal support, and my SO is all I have aside from my sister, and I hate that he's so adamant on please her. As long as he knows his child is safe I don't see why pissing her off should matter I guess.

MyLittleOnes 2 kids; the boondocks, WI, United States 735 posts
21st Jan '13

I'd have her pick him up from your sisters.

Chels :3 Florida 2017 posts
21st Jan '13
Quoting mommy 2 jax:" I'd have her pick him up from your sisters."


I'm going to talk to SO when he gets home and make him aware of what IS going to happen. I'm done asking. You don't think that she kind of has a good reason to be wary of my sister never having met her? That part I understood. The hospital part got on my nerves.

Chels :3 Florida 2017 posts
21st Jan '13

I also forgot to mention the part where my sister just offered to take him, and then drop him off at school. Not even bothering his mother till she had to pick him up at school that evening. (He goes from 7:30 to 4-6pm depending.)

MyLittleOnes 2 kids; the boondocks, WI, United States 735 posts
21st Jan '13

Honestly no. My SO has a 5 year old with an ex so I understand the situation pretty well. But she needs to understand you and your SO are a family now, she should trust who he brings around their child. She can very easily pick up her son asap. You will be in labor. From the sound of it no matter what you all decide to do she will be unhappy.

Chels :3 Florida 2017 posts
21st Jan '13
Quoting mommy 2 jax:" Honestly no. My SO has a 5 year old with an ex so I understand the situation pretty well. But she needs ... [snip!] ... pick up her son asap. You will be in labor. From the sound of it no matter what you all decide to do she will be unhappy."


That's true. Good hearing from someone who knows what it's like for sure. I'll be making these plans tonight with my sister and SO.

MyLittleOnes 2 kids; the boondocks, WI, United States 735 posts
21st Jan '13

Good luck :) He should to back you up on this and understand.