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Rude? Callie L. Due May 18 (girl); 49 kids; Ohio 334 posts
21st Jan '13

Okay, so my MIL and I don't get along very well anymore, but she has reluctantly offered to buy a few things we need for our nursery. They are main things that we need to have in place before baby arrives and things that need to be set up, made, taken care of etc.

Well, she is the type to "accidentally" forget things, or procrastinate because "she has a lot on her mind". I mentioned to her when we first found out we were expecting, that we would need to start saving for some new things as my first child was a boy and this is a girl and most things I purchased for him were gender appropriate. Well two weeks ago, I asked her about the things she was buying if she still felt comfortable buying those, she said, "well I'll try to get them for you, I don't know when though."

I'm sorry, but Yes I am already nesting, and I am VERY excited to be finally having the girl I've wanted for so long, so I want everything set up, and ready to rock WAY in advance. My advance, not her advance (two hours before we bring baby home). So I thought about tricking my hubby into buying the things we NEED and just let her buy the things we WANT. So we don't have to rely on her, for the things we absolutely need to get set up. OR...should I just constantly remind her? Or would that be rude? I just know if I don't, and I want until closer to time, she'll have an excuse, "oh I don't have the money right now, Oh I forgot, Oh this, Oh that." I just don't want to be cribless when my baby gets here. Thoughts?

Captain Obvious 2 kids; Havana, Cuba 25634 posts
21st Jan '13

I would personally just buy my own shit and not rely on somebody who isn't reliable.

user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
21st Jan '13

It's your baby, not her baby. Even if she offered, she's not obligated to follow through. You should just assume that you're going to have to pick up the things for your child.

Angel [Mariah's Mommy] 1 child; Indianapolis, Indiana 18065 posts
21st Jan '13

You sound like an ungrateful a*****e.

Commander Shepard 18 kids; Jacksonville, Florida 6447 posts
21st Jan '13

If you need it, buy it yourself.

NopeNotGonnaDOIt 6 kids; Cuba 3000 posts
21st Jan '13

I would just buy what I needed, if she gets you something later that you already have I would return it or sell it.

WV Momma+2 girls :) Due February 8; 2 kids; West Virginia 2071 posts
21st Jan '13

Yes, you are being rude. If you need it, you buy it.

Monsters² Mom 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Dahlgren, VA, United States 4921 posts
21st Jan '13
Quoting Captain Obvious:" I would personally just buy my own shit and not rely on somebody who isn't reliable."


:!: I agree with this. I wouldn't rely on her if she's shown her true colors to you already. Just get it yourselves.

Callie L. Due May 18 (girl); 49 kids; Ohio 334 posts
21st Jan '13
Quoting Mama❍Moon:" I would just buy what I needed, if she gets you something later that you already have I would return it or sell it. "


Yeah that's what I was worried about, because she will act like her feelings are severely hurt if we just wait and wait and then just buy it. But I don't like waiting around and then not having anything. I would much rather buy it myself, she has told my hubby that will hurt her feelings though.

C'sMom! 1 child; Minnesota 1263 posts
21st Jan '13

Buy it yourself

Turtley Mikey Due October 31; 2 kids; California 50611 posts
21st Jan '13
Quoting Callie L.:" Okay, so my MIL and I don't get along very well anymore, but she has reluctantly offered to buy a few ... [snip!] ... have the money right now, Oh I forgot, Oh this, Oh that." I just don't want to be cribless when my baby gets here. Thoughts?"



I think I'd just get the things you need and not dwell on when she might do as she tells you. That way it doesn't set you up for disappointment. :)

Callie L. Due May 18 (girl); 49 kids; Ohio 334 posts
21st Jan '13
Quoting Angel [Mariah's Mommy]:" You sound like an ungrateful a*****e. "

Yes, you don't know my MIL. Everything I do is wrong, if I purchase it, she will accuse me of not liking her, If I don't buy it, and don't say anything to her to remind her she'll say, "well, it's her fault, she didn't remind me." I'm ALWAYS wrong, I'm quite used to it, but in this case, I would rather her hate me a little more, than have my child sleeping on a floor.

Donna Jo Tanner 1 child; Beach Haven, New Jersey 6440 posts
21st Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Angel [Mariah's Mommy]:</b>" You sound like an ungrateful a*****e. "</blockquote>




:!:
If you're not prepared to buy the stuff yourself you shouldn't have gotten pregnant.
Buy the stuff yourself.
Sorry if this is harsh but it's truth.

BαtMαɳ Secret Bat Cave, FK, Oman 63472 posts
21st Jan '13
Quoting Saffy Sly:" It's your baby, not her baby. Even if she offered, she's not obligated to follow through. You should just assume that you're going to have to pick up the things for your child."


:!:



If you can afford to buy the things you NEED then why are you complaining or waiting on her? And why the hell would you trick anyone into buying anything? a*****e move.

Callie L. Due May 18 (girl); 49 kids; Ohio 334 posts
21st Jan '13

I didn't make myself clear, I suppose

I have NO issues buying my own things, in fact I would prefer it, but as I recently learned, she throws a fit to my hubby that I don't like her because I don't let her buy things. The issue is she buys things for my child that I don't approve of and won't allow him to use, then gets upset with me. But I compromise in a lot of situations, when it comes to my children and how they are raised I do not budge.

I have been successfully paying for, and raising my child for the past 8 years, I would love to purchase all the exact items I want for our baby's room, but agian, she pretends her feelings are hurt, and I'm once again wrong. I feel there is no end in sight with that, but I was curious if reminding her maybe once a month was just too pushy?