So SO had a job working for my mom, He got laid off because his services was no longer needed, He filed for unemploment 4 weeks ago & hasnt heard anything back from them. So hes asuming that he wasnt accepted. He called his aunt that lives 9 hours away & asked if we were to move there if he could have his old job back. She said Yes & that she would pay for our train tickets down there. & That we could live with her.
Problem is.. We currently live with my mom & my 3 sisters. I watch my sisters so that my mom can work full time. (no other babysitter) We pay a portion of the rent (my mom cant efford the whole rent). Me & my mom are extremly close & it would absolutally break her heart if we moved & took LO, expetally back to our old home town. (ill explain more)
She feels like now that she cant provide SO with a job that hes just gonna up & leave, Just because his aunt can give him more money.
I dont want to move back to my home town because I had a drug problem there & wasnt hanging out with the right people ( this is before DD was born) & I had gotten into legal issues there. There soo much more negitive there then possitive. When I first moved to where i am now i have been able to get off of probation, Get back into school, & actually be happy for once in my life.
SO said that he doesnt want to look for a job, when he already could have one. He said that he doesnt want to put out the effort because he wants money now, not in months to come. He hasnt even tryed to look for a job or try to go back to school. He said that its to much work & that its not worth his time because it wont work anyway.
But yet he says that he doesnt want to move back to our home town but he forced to. Likeee uhhh no dude get off your ass & look for a job. I dont think that our relationship would even last out there. & I dont want to take the chance. Plus I would be sitting at his aunts house the entire time. I have no family out there any more. & all my old friends are up to no good.
WWYD in a situation like this?
Tell him to go look for a job and that you don't want to go.
He needs to follow up with unemployment, until he hears that he wasn't accepted. I wouldn't assume anything pertaining to that.
Definitely not rely on any family member for a job and have him look for a job-- do you work, OP?
He says im always taking my moms side with everything.
im taking my babys side, not my moms & not his. Im only looking out for LO
Quoting A is Me:" He needs to follow up with unemployment, until he hears that he wasn't accepted. I wouldn't assume anything pertaining to that."
This too. They will send you a letter.
I sent EDD an email for him, so hopefully they will reply soon.
No i dont work im currently studying for my GED & then ima go to a collage.
But I have sent in my resume to a ton of places so I have been trying to get a job. At least more then he has.
SO is being selfish and lazy, IMO. You are looking out for your health and your family's best interest, not taking your mom's side.
I would not due to your past issues there. You need to protect yourself and your LO.
Most guys are just stubborn and need that push, why don't you send his resume to some places? That's what I did for my husband because he kept putting it off, he got a job within that month
Quoting Cat Abbott:" SO is being selfish and lazy, IMO. You are looking out for your health and your family's best interest, not taking your mom's side."
Exactly, i told him he needs to try to find a job & if we run out of our savings before he gets a job then maybe i will consitter it (last last last last option)
Quoting Lin Brown:" Most guys are just stubborn and need that push, why don't you send his resume to some places? That's what I did for my husband because he kept putting it off, he got a job within that month"
im going to
im also gonna drop him off at labor ready.
I would really encourage him to look for a job. Maybe help him with his resume and look on craigslist for job listings.
No way in hell would I go back to a situation like you're telling about in your own hometown. JMO