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Ideas for 18 month old & tantrums? Mother of Broccoli. 1 child; California 12595 posts
22nd Jan '13

I really need some help with my 18 month old.



Just recently she's been an absolute terror almost all day long. Everything causes her to throw a tantrum of some kind.



An example: She has learned to throw her toys over the baby gates. When she does it, I have told her she threw the toy to the other side and that she'll have to wait to get it back later. I've also tried just ignoring her and not acknowledging that she did anything. Both ways she flips out and screams and kicks and hits until she gets distracted with something else. It's one of our all day battles.



I was advised to ignore every tantrum she throws, but I literally feel like I ignore her half of the day. She has just been really frustrating me lately and I need to figure out something that will help keep the tantrums to a minimum. I am willing to try any kind of gentle parenting solution.

Ax3 2 kids; Arkansas 3739 posts
22nd Jan '13

Watching...my 16 mo just started doing this too. Maybe I blocked it out but I really don't remember my other dd throwing herself on the floor sobbing bc I wouldn't let her eat chips (bc it's a choking hazard)...or any of the other things she freaked out about today lol

Smokey_Taboo Due April 22; 1 child; California 5480 posts
22nd Jan '13

What are you doing while she is tantruming, maybe she is just trying to get attention??
Do you try redirecting?
with my 3yr old I ask her why she thought that was a good idea, but she is really verbal.

Mother of Broccoli. 1 child; California 12595 posts
22nd Jan '13
Quoting Smokey_Taboo:" What are you doing while she is tantruming, maybe she is just trying to get attention?? Do you try redirecting? ... [snip!] ... attention?? Do you try redirecting? with my 3yr old I ask her why she thought that was a good idea, but she is really verbal. "


I ignore her when she is tantruming. When she's done I give her lots of positive attention, like hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc. I do redirect her but it has gotten tiresome lately since she wants what she wants, when she wants.

HULK Mama [+4] 36 kids; Florida 2180 posts
22nd Jan '13

My 15 month old has been doing this for the past week -_-
Literally every little thing sends him to the floor kicking & screaming. He'll do that for about 2-3 minutes, get up and find his blanket and calm down. Then we hit repeat about 30 minutes later. It's been an absolute BLAST [not].
I'd love to hear others ways of dealing with it.

Ax3 2 kids; Arkansas 3739 posts
22nd Jan '13
Quoting dbailey:?
:" Watching...my 16 mo just started doing this too. Maybe I blocked it out but I really don't remember my ... [snip!] ... sobbing bc I wouldn't let her eat chips (bc it's a choking hazard)...or any of the other things she freaked out about today lol"


ETA-I think one reason she's been throwing so many fits lately is bc she doesn't talk-like at all :? She understands everything we say and she signs a lot but she still isn't talking. The pedi says not to worry about it for a while yet and has checked her hearing whether she understands and such but I think it's a big factor in why she gets so mad.



Mother of Broccoli. 1 child; California 12595 posts
22nd Jan '13
Quoting dbailey:" "


I know that's a big issue here. It's essentially a language barrier lol. She uses lots of signs and I have incorporated new signs for feelings and more specific "wants" but she hasn't caught on just yet.

[[Breezy]] 1 child; Savannah, Georgia 14517 posts
22nd Jan '13

If carson is having an actual tantrum, I just sit next to him and talk in a sweet voice and tell him it's okay until he stops lol. Usually he just remembers I have b**bs and goes after them haha.

Smokey_Taboo Due April 22; 1 child; California 5480 posts
22nd Jan '13
Quoting Mother of Broccoli.:" I ignore her when she is tantruming. When she's done I give her lots of positive attention, like hugging, ... [snip!] ... kissing, cuddling, etc. I do redirect her but it has gotten tiresome lately since she wants what she wants, when she wants. "


I guess I meant to say beforehand are you washing the dishes, reading a book or are you two just playing together?




It sounds like you are doing all the things you can do, she may just need a few more months before she can be more verbal and you two can talk about the actions.
Edit: Sometimes just picking her up and going to a calm space gently telling her we do not throw toys and we are going to sit here and have calm time focus on breaths if she is freaking out then reading a book or two is always a good option for a non-punitive time out

Mylie + Taryn Due December 24; 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Cleveland, Ohio 972 posts
22nd Jan '13
Quoting Mother of Broccoli.:" I really need some help with my 18 month old. Just recently she's been an absolute terror almost all ... [snip!] ... figure out something that will help keep the tantrums to a minimum. I am willing to try any kind of gentle parenting solution. "


Taryn has been throwing tantrums since about that age, they started small and now they are getting really REALLY bad. I refuse to spank so we talk, I use a firm voice and I put her in time out, which is her worst nightmare and I take away her favorite toy for the day if she continues on. I put her in time out for 2 minutes now, it is supposed to be comparable to the age they are. She really hates time out. It usually works really well.

Jenna + 2! 34 kids; Australia 4387 posts
23rd Jan '13

Honestly there are two things I can suggest.. We have just gone through this stage with my twin boys.. They are two in a month..
1. Take away the baby gates.. You'll think I'm
Crazy but we don't have any at all.. Our boys have learnt where they can and can't go.. Get some draw locks for the draws with dangerous things in them and just let them explore the rest.. It sounds crazy but once they have a look once or twice they get over it and by giving them more freedom they will be less bored and therefore have less tantrums.. Also solves the problem of throwing the toys over the gate.
2. Time outs- we started at 18m.. The first few times we put them on they kept getting off but we persisted and now we usually only have to threaten it and they stop doing what they are doing.. My boys aren't perfect but usually if we talk to them in an almost whisper when they are freakibg out and tell them if they don't stop they will have to go to time out they will usually calm down..
Don't raise you're voice just talk very quietly and calmly.. Should help;)

Mother of Broccoli. 1 child; California 12595 posts
23rd Jan '13

Thanks ladies! I will try everything suggested and I'm sure something will help lol