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FIL won't call our daughter by her name Nae&Zoe's Mommy 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Red Deer, Alberta 666 posts
25th Jan '13

My husband and I had a beautiful baby girl who is now 2 months old who we named Zofia Doris Mae. Doris is my husbands grandmother who passed away when he was young who he was really close to(she is actually his step grandmother if that's what you call it). His step dads mom. Anyway it meant alot to my hubby when I said we could use Doris as a middle name for our new daughter. Well ever since Zofia has been born his step dad will call her nothing but Doris, he's even been trying to get everyone on his side of the family to just call her Doris and it's really starting to bother me.. At first I thought it was because he was overly excited but now it's going to far.. We stopped for a visit last night cause they just got home from a trip and again all be did was call her Doris... Then when my two year old daughter went to give her baby sister a kiss she said "aww mommy zoey is soo cute" my FIL immediately told her no that's Doris there is no Zoey here (not jokingly but dead serious) he continues by walking away saying whose zoey there is no Zoey here.... I'm completely offended and feel disrespected. I spent 8 months (no joke I went through baby book after baby book to find the perfect name for our DD)

Jane.Doe. Fukushima, Japan 2805 posts
25th Jan '13

Sounds like he has dementia lol Have you sat down and written out her name and specified to him that Doris is her MIDDLE name and Zofia or Zoey is her first name? Maybe he literally needs it spelled out for him.

armymommyof3 3 kids; Texas 276 posts
25th Jan '13

All you should do is politely correct him and others just state " we prefer you call her Zofia."



I have that problem with family calling my DD "Nat" instead of Natalie i correct them every time. They have eventually changed what they say although Nat still slips out

Chellie 3 kids; Vegas, Nv, United States 4816 posts
25th Jan '13

No offense but it may be because the first name is a bit un-traditional and he is more comfortable with Doris than Zofia. Just ask him why he calls her Doris, that may clear up the whole situation for you.




However my MIL calls my oldest by his middle name as well. It doesn't bother us at all and she has been doing it for nearly two years now. We just let her since we only see her once or twice a month anyway.

Vitameatavegamin 19 kids; League City, Texas 5829 posts
25th Jan '13

Yeah I would be very upset. The least I would ask is if he insists on calling her Doris, at least call her Zophia Doris all together. My Mom calls both my girls by their first and middle names all the time. My second DD has her middle name the same as my Mom's middle name, she is so proud that they share a name but she also knows I picked Zoey for the first name because I love it. So she always calls her Zoey Lynn. Which is perfectly acceptable to me. If she acted like she would only call her Lynn I would probably correct her every single time and tell her if she didn't want to call my daughter by the name I gave her then we would be limiting how often we come over, and I would still correct her every time she called her the wrong name. And if she tried to tell other people what to call MY child, I would leave immediately and let her know it's because she's disrespecting me.

Rebekah 2 kids; Tennessee 5560 posts
status 25th Jan '13
Quoting Mrs. Reynolds:" Sounds like he has dementia lol Have you sat down and written out her name and specified to him that ... [snip!] ... to him that Doris is her MIDDLE name and Zofia or Zoey is her first name? Maybe he literally needs it spelled out for him."


^ that's what I was thinking.



We named DS after my husbands grandfather on his dad's side. Well his nana on his mom's side REALLY doesn't want to call him that. Tried to give him countless nicknames(JW being the most annoying). Her reasoning is that there is already a James in the family, I had to point out that no, DH's grandfather passed away 5 years ago so DS would be the only James.



She has been told she has the early stages of dementia.



I understand your frustration

Third Time Mommy 19 kids; Michigan 406 posts
25th Jan '13

Just keep correcting him.
I would have been mad if he said that to my DD and replied to her that yes, Zoey is cute, and Doris is actually her middle name.
And every time he refers to her as Doris, I would say "Oh, you mean Zofia? Yes, she's good.", etc.
And correct everyone else every time until they get it.
How does DH feel about it?

linsα Sayama Hills, TY, Japan 31810 posts
25th Jan '13

Its doesn't seem like dementia to me. How old is he?
I honestly think you should sit down and explain to him hat she goes by Zofia and not Doris and that she will not be going by Doris. He is probably just being an ass because her name is not the everyday norm.

~Nimlorel~ 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Edmonton, Alberta 4815 posts
25th Jan '13

My Mil calls my oldest daughter squirt. She won't even use her middle name. She has difficulty saying Litia, and is embarrassed to try.

Miss Molly! Due August 11 (boy); 3 kids; Ormond Beach, Florida 3276 posts
25th Jan '13
Quoting Lady GooGoo
Vitameatavegamin 19 kids; League City, Texas 5829 posts
25th Jan '13
Quoting Miss Molly!:" That's weird, I have a Chloe Lynn and her middle name is the same as my moms (and mine). She also insists on calling her Chloe Lynn :P"

Lol I love that name too. I was actually a little torn but I've liked Zoey for so long.

Miss Molly! Due August 11 (boy); 3 kids; Ormond Beach, Florida 3276 posts
25th Jan '13
Quoting Lady GooGoo
Jane.Doe. Fukushima, Japan 2805 posts
25th Jan '13

My first thought is someone said "They named her after Doris!" and didn't specify it was a middle name so he truly doesn't know what he is doing lol

Fatty McRunnerPants 2 kids; 4 angel babies; Clearlake, California 59390 posts
25th Jan '13

I wouldn't call her Zofia either. Good lord, it's not the worst I've heard but it sounds like you couldn't chose between Zoe and Sofia and mashed them all together in a horrid combination.



I named my son after his two grandpas. William and my "dad", Harold Martin. My son's name is William Gabriel Martin. My dad and his family all call him "Mart". Refused to call him Will or William the first 4 years of his life. William told them eventually "My name is William NOT Mart!" and that was the end of it. I let him decide, it's his name after all.

Vitameatavegamin 19 kids; League City, Texas 5829 posts
25th Jan '13
Quoting Miss Molly!:" Haha, same. They were both on my list but Chloe has always been one of my favorite. I call her ChloMonster."


Chloe was on my list as well! Lol sometimes I call her Zoey Bologna