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Clk 2 kids; Dexter, Michigan 11568 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting Mama*AtoZ:" I'm already hated on here for my support of unconditional parenting/non punitive discipline, talking about bf aswel is just too much for this site :lol:"

I've seen you post on BG, and we use similar methods for discipline. ;) I've had a couple people ask what we do since we don't spank or use timeouts on our three year old.

κατι 1 child; Memphis, Tennessee 3143 posts
28th Jan '13

Of course i would if i did BF. It's natural. Why not?

κατι 1 child; Memphis, Tennessee 3143 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting Marissa[+1]:" I personally would. First off, you have a daughter, not a son so it's a lot different lol. I BF infront of my mom ALL the time."

Lmao this is ridiculous. You wouldn't want to let your son see nature at it's best? It would make the boy aware of what your breast were made for.

Bangtail 50 kids; Katy, Texas 7721 posts
28th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama*AtoZ:</b>" I think just breastfeeding wherever you have to has the natural side effect of teaching others. I had ... [snip!] ... your opinion on BF being wrong is probably correct so i should hide for your comfort', that's a horrible message to send out :("</blockquote>



I actually agree with what you're saying. My only issue really is how it's said sometimes. To me, it seems like instead of telling a woman she's perverting it or hurting other women, I think it's more constructive to first figure out why she feels that way and try to help her through those feelings. On that same note, telling a woman that I don't want to see your b**bs or whatever doesn't help women who openly breastfeed to have much sympathy for the other side. Women can just be so harsh when it comes to other mother's choices, and that doesn't help anyone.



So, I totally sound like I'm about to start singing koombayah and make y'all join hands.

usernametx Texas 19748 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting Bangtail:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mama*AtoZ:</b>" I think just breastfeeding wherever you have ... [snip!] ... and that doesn't help anyone. So, I totally sound like I'm about to start singing koombayah and make y'all join hands."


I'm all about the needs behind behaviour so i totally get what you mean. It's very nonviolent communicationy :wink:



I think it's because people get so tired of having to justify themselves or be constantly criticized, so it's far easier to just state your beliefs without trying to support the other persons process so you can understand each other.



Personally i am so sick and tired of hearing negative, power based, detrimental and controlling parenting that i have ended up mostly just stating my beliefs in defense of the poor kids who aren't treated with respect. Instead of being gentle with the adults aswel, i feel frustrated with them and exhausted by such a massive disregard for child's rights and emotional development. As in the examples you've given, that doesn't mean people understand where i'm coming from and it just leads them to be defensive and write everything off. I think the same happens with BF and so many areas of parenting. When people feel passionate about something and so passionately against the opposite, it is hard to try and help the 'other side' when you've come up against so much negativity previously.



ramble ramble ramble, gosh i need some sleep!

The Time Police 2 kids; Cold Lake, AB, Canada 33400 posts
28th Jan '13

Of course I would. I nurse in front of my 4 year old son... He knows mommies have milk in their boobies, and thinks his boobies contain water. :lol:

Bangtail 50 kids; Katy, Texas 7721 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting Mama*AtoZ:" I'm all about the needs behind behaviour so i totally get what you mean. It's very nonviolent communicationy ... [snip!] ... the 'other side' when you've come up against so much negativity previously. ramble ramble ramble, gosh i need some sleep!"


I have literally had about 1.5 hours of sleep in the last two days, so I feel your pain.



I got a lot of negative backlash when I chose to pull my sons out of public school and homeschool them. I was basically getting pressured to put both of them on ADHD meds and I am not comfortable with those, especially for 5 and 7 year old boys. Granted, they both DEFINITELY have markedly lower attention spans then most kids their age, but I don't think that means I should dope them up. So, I quit my full-time job and took it into my own hands. I think a lot of people still think that you give birth and then you hand them over to someone else to raise and educate. While that might work for some, that's just not how I want to raise my children. I know that not everyone is lucky enough to make this choice, and I'm very thankful I can.



I am a bit of a disciplinarian, though. I don't really spank because I think it's counterintuitive for a young mind, but when I tell them to do something, they will do it or there will be consequences. On that same note, teaching them at home, I'm able to cater to their individual learning styles and personalities more then a normal teacher can. So, in that respect, I let them kind of guide me which gives their little minds a chance to really blossom.

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
28th Jan '13

This threw seems to have taken a turn somewhere but yes, op. I Breastfeeding my two year old in frog of my 6 year old son. He was 4 when she was born and there actually weren't any awkward questions, mostly because it's not awkward to explain our bodies, but also because we co shower/bathe and cosleep so he's sees my body regularly and had asked about my breasts long before his sister arrived. He knew they were there to feed babies.
When the new baby arrives in may I will nurse him openly in front of my two older children. My daughter will probably still be nursing at that point so it'll just be a whole lt of b**bs around this house lol

M+1 1 child; Ballarat, Australia 1538 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Bangtail:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Viv, Ev & ... [snip!] ... men's enjoyment and you should feel shame if you have the audacity feeding your child in pubic is what I have a problem with."

Did I ONCE say that I don't do it because I think it would turn someone on? Cause last time I checked, I said nothing along those lines. Stop assuming shit.

M+1 1 child; Ballarat, Australia 1538 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting κατι:" Lmao this is ridiculous. You wouldn't want to let your son see nature at it's best? It would make the boy aware of what your breast were made for."

If my son was 10+, no I wouldn't feel comfortable BF around him. Like i've said before... Whatever makes you comfortable. Each to their own.

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
28th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Marissa[+1]:</b>" If my son was 10+, no I wouldn't feel comfortable BF around him. Like i've said before... Whatever makes you comfortable. Each to their own."</blockquote>




Why not?? Its feeding a baby, and all you're doing by sheltering him from it is teaching him that he should expect women to hide breasteeding. He will grow up feeling like Breastfeeding is something that should be hidden.

M+1 1 child; Ballarat, Australia 1538 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting MommaSav2:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Marissa[+1]:</b>" If my son was 10+, no I wouldn't feel comfortable ... [snip!] ... he should expect women to hide breasteeding. He will grow up feeling like Breastfeeding is something that should be hidden."

I do it infront of my mother and bf, that's it. It may be differen't if I actually had an older child while having my NB

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
28th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Marissa[+1]:</b>" I do it infront of my mother and bf, that's it. It may be differen't if I actually had an older child while having my NB"</blockquote>



You've only been Breastfeeding for 3 weeks, You're still getting use to it. But don't yo find it a little bit offensive when other people think the way you feed your child (which btw is the healthiest possible way so kudos) should be hidden?? I personally got really sick really quickly of feeling like I had to go hide every time the baby needed to eat. Or feeling like I didn't want to chance going out in case she needed to eat and I couldn't quickly get away. Your feeding your baby, nothing more, don't hide it.

M+1 1 child; Ballarat, Australia 1538 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting MommaSav2:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Marissa[+1]:</b>" I do it infront of my mother and bf, that's ... [snip!] ... going out in case she needed to eat and I couldn't quickly get away. Your feeding your baby, nothing more, don't hide it."

If more women did it, i'm sure I would as well. I just feel awkward with all the stares

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
28th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Marissa[+1]:</b>" If more women did it, i'm sure I would as well. I just feel awkward with all the stares"</blockquote>




You could be the woman feeding out in public who inspires another mother to feel comfortable feeding in public. You could be the woman other women see who makes it feel normal. I have gotten more encouragement from people who see me out nursing in public than I have experienced any negativity regarding it. And the people who are negative are likely the ones who we're sheltered from it.



Before I was really comfortable with it I would wear a nursing cami under all my tops and I would pull my top up and let the top of my cami down so nothing but my nipple was out and no one could see it because it was in the baby's mouth. Very discreet. I was more embarrassed about people seeing my muffin top an stretch marks than them catching a little boobie. Lol



"be the change you want to see in the world"... Right??