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Help a Minuteman *shame* bobdc2009 Washington, District of Columbia 9 posts
28th Jan '13


i am super fast to climax.
it is so so so embarrassing.
it seems no matter what i do, that i ejaculate after 1-2 minutes of intercourse.
masturbation before hand doesn't help.



i just feel so bad for my wife. she deserves more.



i think our sex life is ok, lots of oral, and she has orgasms. she initiates sex which is a great sign.



but if feel like i am short changing her when it comes to intercourse with my fast performance.



how can i last longer?
how can i feel better about myself?
how can i ensure that my wife is ok with the situation?



thank you.

user banned 17 kids; Boston, MA, United States 9473 posts
28th Jan '13

odd post lol



try a c**k ring?
condoms so you feel less?

user banned 2 kids; Hamilton, Ontario 19220 posts
28th Jan '13

Read a k*******a book?
If shes still there....Im sure shes okay. Do you talk openly to her about it?
Are there particular feelings, positions, visuals that make you go faster then others?

user banned 2 kids; Silly, Belgium 6539 posts
28th Jan '13

Give her more foreplay if you can't last longer than that. Most women don't get off from the actual penetration itself so in my opinion, it's not that big of a deal. Talk to her about it and see if she wants more penetration.



Try desensitization oil inside of a thicker condom. It might add on a couple minutes. If not, buy a d***o to use on her.

Chibs 2 kids; Missouri 12146 posts
28th Jan '13

My husband never lasts more than 10 minutes
Usually it's around 2-5,it doesn't really bother me
I'd rather have sex for a few minutes than non stop for a hour lol



Try switching positions when you're about to climax
And if you have a sex shop close to you they have different pills and liquid shots you can take and they work

user banned 2 kids; Silly, Belgium 6539 posts
28th Jan '13

Also, I don't think you should be ashamed about it. I think it's an issue that a lot of men have but just don't talk about because they want to act like they're 8 hour playboys.



Sex isn't a marathon. As long as the intimacy is there then the actual length of penetration doesn't matter.



I wouldn't load yourself up with chemicals and hormones trying to last longer if your wife is orgasming regularly.

bobdc2009 Washington, District of Columbia 9 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting Salad Fingers:" Give her more foreplay if you can't last longer than that. Most women don't get off from the actual penetration ... [snip!] ... Try desensitization oil inside of a thicker condom. It might add on a couple minutes. If not, buy a d***o to use on her."


Thanks, Saladfingers. I was nervous about those condoms that they might desensitize her also. have you ever used one? if yes, did it affect you?
ugh, so insecure about this. a d***o is a great idea also. thank you.

bobdc2009 Washington, District of Columbia 9 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting *PeanutButter*:" My husband never lasts more than 10 minutes Usually it's around 2-5,it doesn't really bother me I'd rather ... [snip!] ... about to climax And if you have a sex shop close to you they have different pills and liquid shots you can take and they work"


thank you peanutbutter. it is reassuring to hear that every man doesn't last 20 minutes and that women are ok with this :) i'll look into the liquids and thins at a sex shop, but i am so nervous and embarrassed!

user banned 2 kids; Silly, Belgium 6539 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting bobdc2009:" Thanks, Saladfingers. I was nervous about those condoms that they might desensitize her also. have you ... [snip!] ... also. have you ever used one? if yes, did it affect you? ugh, so insecure about this. a d***o is a great idea also. thank you."


There's a condom made by durex that is supposed to 'speed her up' and 'slow him down'. It's ribbed and studded on the outside with a drop of heat activated desensitization oil on the inside. The oil won't come in contact with her so you don't have to worry about that.

bobdc2009 Washington, District of Columbia 9 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting Salad Fingers:" Also, I don't think you should be ashamed about it. I think it's an issue that a lot of men have but ... [snip!] ... matter. I wouldn't load yourself up with chemicals and hormones trying to last longer if your wife is orgasming regularly."


thanks, again, salad fingers! i am so ashamed, but you are right. i need to let it go. it is likely MY issue and not my wifes. do you really think a lot of men are in my (speed) boat? :) yes, you are right about the chemicals!
i wish it wasn't so taboo and embarrassing!

bobdc2009 Washington, District of Columbia 9 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting Salad Fingers:" There's a condom made by durex that is supposed to 'speed her up' and 'slow him down'. It's ribbed ... [snip!] ... activated desensitization oil on the inside. The oil won't come in contact with her so you don't have to worry about that. "


sounds engineered just for me LOL! i'll try it. i might try it by myself first though LOL! ribbed LOL! does that even matter!
thanks, it's nice to talk about this and laugh. usually i'm so tense about it.

user banned 2 kids; Silly, Belgium 6539 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting bobdc2009:" thanks, again, salad fingers! i am so ashamed, but you are right. i need to let it go. it is likely ... [snip!] ... a lot of men are in my (speed) boat? :) yes, you are right about the chemicals! i wish it wasn't so taboo and embarrassing!"


Absolutely. Google it. You will come up with numerous posts on message boards that read exactly the same as your question here. There are other techniques and exercises you can do like when you are peeing, you try to pinch it off midstream that teach you how to control when you ejaculate. I don't know much about them because I'm not a dude with a p***s but I'm sure there are ways to learn about managing this type of thing.



It shouldn't be so taboo.

user banned 2 kids; Hamilton, Ontario 19220 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting bobdc2009:" thanks, again, salad fingers! i am so ashamed, but you are right. i need to let it go. it is likely ... [snip!] ... a lot of men are in my (speed) boat? :) yes, you are right about the chemicals! i wish it wasn't so taboo and embarrassing!"


My SO use to be quick when he was younger, since he turned 30 for some reason now he last longer....longer meaning 10-15 mins. Long enough for me, by then Im done too lol.
But some visuals like d***y s***e get him off too quickly so he tends to steer away from that

user banned 2 kids; Silly, Belgium 6539 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting bobdc2009:" sounds engineered just for me LOL! i'll try it. i might try it by myself first though LOL! ribbed LOL! ... [snip!] ... though LOL! ribbed LOL! does that even matter! thanks, it's nice to talk about this and laugh. usually i'm so tense about it."


I think it was good of you to come on a mostly-female board rather than a health board because I think women are by nature a lot more open about realities and probably less textbook. I'm happy you feel comfortable talking about it with us. I think you should use this comfort you feel and talk to your wife about it and see how she feels and ask her to be honest without worrying about hurt feelings. That way you'll know if you trying to slow yourself down is more for your peace of mind than it is for her.

bobdc2009 Washington, District of Columbia 9 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting A Beautiful Disaster:" My SO use to be quick when he was younger, since he turned 30 for some reason now he last longer....longer ... [snip!] ... me, by then Im done too lol. But some visuals like d***y s***e get him off too quickly so he tends to steer away from that "


yes. that position is super fast for me.... i do best with my wife on top, but that is still fast at 2-3 minutes :(