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MomDIA TTC since May 2008; 81 kids; Warminster, Pennsylvania 3812 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting The Doctor:" I would say that to him."


:!::!::!:

♥. 2 kids; making moves in, TX, United States 1114 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting BoogsMaMa:" Uhh yeah they are, compromise would be agreeing to think about it before hand. She would be on BC ... [snip!] ... They may not survive it as a couple, but it does not mean in anyway that her opinion shouldnt matter as much as his decision."

8)
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I had to.

taking a look at life Palm beach gardens, FL, United States 49134 posts
28th Jan '13

How long have u been with him?

MomDIA TTC since May 2008; 81 kids; Warminster, Pennsylvania 3812 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:" Why is it a big issue, since there are multiple ways for them to get his sperm later on if they decide ... [snip!] ... never have existed. Think about it, I mean, I can understand why he'd want this procedure, especially since it's reversible. "


Because it also costs money for sperm retrieval and IUI or IVf, when both are capable of conceiving naturally, it kinda is unneccessary costs and procedures. He could respect her feelings and they both wait out the decisions on what they want see if they can find a medium and if not proceed, both preventing pregnancy but not making it difficult to conceive at the same time. When they come to an agreement then make serious decisions such as a vasectomy or pregnancy

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59940 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:" Why is it a big issue, since there are multiple ways for them to get his sperm later on if they decide ... [snip!] ... never have existed. Think about it, I mean, I can understand why he'd want this procedure, especially since it's reversible. "


I think this would be a VERY important add-on to the discussion asking him to put off the vasectomy for a few months, should you decide to ask him to do that for you, OP. What if you do get pregnant between now and then? Will you honor his wishes to not have a child? I mean... that's an important question to ask yourself, and be honest with him about.

MomDIA TTC since May 2008; 81 kids; Warminster, Pennsylvania 3812 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:" And like I said, what if she accidentally got pregnant on her birth control? Ask many women on here, ... [snip!] ... situation, it happens all the time, especially since condoms break or fall off, and birth control pills definitely do fail."


Their are more ways than just BC to prevent pregnancy. Ask how many got pregnant while on BC using condoms and him still pulling out. I bet the numbers drop. Their are preventitive measure to take when TNTC, also like tracking ovulation and avoiding fertile days on top of all that. Trust me their are ways, and no reversal needed if decided against. I think a vasectomy is a very serious decision, I also know what the cost of fertility trearments are. It's a serious life decision that should be well thought through and all parties involved should be considered, and I also feel the same way about having children.

MomDIA TTC since May 2008; 81 kids; Warminster, Pennsylvania 3812 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:" You have to practice a good amount to track your cycles, and even the people who track their cycles ... [snip!] ... only abstinence is, and I doubt he's going to want to abstain for 6 months. What happens if it failed and she got pregnant? "


Their are options there as well. Day after pill when they do get caught up in the moment is one of them. I will also add it is a lot cheaper to take that pill than pay for IUI and IVF, and sperm retrieval.

MomDIA TTC since May 2008; 81 kids; Warminster, Pennsylvania 3812 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:" I note that you're completely avoiding the fact that the process is reversible, and isn't as expensive ... [snip!] ... And yeah, that could happen, no one knows exactly how they'd react to an unexpected pregnancy until they're actually pregnant. "


5000-15000 for reversal depending on the patient that isnt really affordable like other preventative measures. I know how people react but the truth is she is more than willing to comprimise as long as he is willing to do so for her, she wants him to think about it. I see that as fair.

I♡C&R. 2 kids; Thornton, CO, United States 25225 posts
28th Jan '13

Maybe he thinks the two you have are enough?

taking a look at life Palm beach gardens, FL, United States 49134 posts
28th Jan '13

Since i didnt get an answer....




If its long term you both need to sit down and tell each other how u feel. If he is still wants it done ask him if u could do long term b/c like paraguard ect and see how u are when its time to take it out or after ur doen with school.




Also OP how may kids does he have and how old is he, because just like women sometimes the doctor wont do it till your so old and have so many kids or have so many kids, or after ur say at the age that they consider you to know what u want.

♥. 2 kids; making moves in, TX, United States 1114 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting I♡C.:" Maybe he thinks the two you have are enough?"


And she doesn't think that so there's a problem..

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5406 posts
28th Jan '13

Holy fuck at this thread :shock:



I mean I totally get that ultimately it is his choice and she has no right to try and force him into anything he does not want but really the best advice to give to people in a committed relationship is "don't talk, don't communicate, don't share, don't compromise, just don't do anything that makes a relationship work and be totally out for yourself." He literally has walked in out of nowhere and has told her he is getting one and he is going for a consultation this week, I don't think it is too much to expect him to sit down and have a chat about it with her. I don't want anymore kids and neither does DH however had he walked in one day and said "I've decided I'm getting the snip, I'm not even going to discuss it with you, screw your feelings." even though I would probably have no issue with the actual vasectomy the fact that he didn't even give me the respect to sit down like 2 adults who are committed to each other and discuss such a major decision with me would probably be enough to make me question the whole relationship.

♥. 2 kids; making moves in, TX, United States 1114 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting xTJ:" Holy fuck at this thread :shock: I mean I totally get that ultimately it is his choice and she has no ... [snip!] ... to each other and discuss such a major decision with me would probably be enough to make me question the whole relationship."


:!:



Yes it is quite surprising. Lol

MomDIA TTC since May 2008; 81 kids; Warminster, Pennsylvania 3812 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting xTJ:" Holy fuck at this thread :shock: I mean I totally get that ultimately it is his choice and she has no ... [snip!] ... to each other and discuss such a major decision with me would probably be enough to make me question the whole relationship."

:!::!::!::!:



Right???

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5406 posts
28th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting J u l i a .:</b>" :!: Yes it is quite surprising. Lol"</blockquote>




:!: Yup :!:



I mean really what if your SO/DH walks in one day and says I'm moving to Australia, I'm spending 500k on a new car, I'm going to travel around the middle east for 6 months, I'm renovating the entire house, etc, etc is the advice to be ah well he better just do exactly what he wants without even discussing it with anyone, his choice and all that. Seriously no wonder so many relationships and Marriages break down if people don't realise the key is communication, if you're not willing to even consider another person with major decisions in your life then guess what you will never know how to conduct a relationship of any sort. Lol