Reply
KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5404 posts
status 28th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting BoogsMaMa:</b>" :!::!::!::!: Right???"</blockquote>




Yes!!! I must've missed the memo on how to conduct my 9 year relationship "Do not discuss any major decisions, just go out and do them, communication and compromise are your downfall!" Lol

MomDIA TTC since May 2008; 81 kids; Warminster, Pennsylvania 3812 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:" There is a BIG difference between saying what you're saying, and people saying that ultimately, it is ... [snip!] ... She really should, if they want to make this work. But she shouldn't tell him what she should or should not do with his body. "



If she doesn't want it he needs to repect that as well, that is all anyone is saying. Major life decisions are made with the people you decide to spend your life with as stated above, moving, babies, no babies, buying large items.. all major choices that immediately affect the people you are with, not just decisions you make by yourself and end of story.

♥. 2 kids; making moves in, TX, United States 1114 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:" There is a BIG difference between saying what you're saying, and people saying that ultimately, it is ... [snip!] ... She really should, if they want to make this work. But she shouldn't tell him what she should or should not do with his body. "


Like the OP has said time and TIME AGAIN over and OVER oh my fucking gosh! She is NOT trying to pressure him into ANYTHING she has ALSO stated she would just like to talk with him about it. Everything you keep saying the OP has already said she'd do, she will hear him out but it just doesn't need to be HER him too!

MomDIA TTC since May 2008; 81 kids; Warminster, Pennsylvania 3812 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting xTJ:" <blockquote><b>Quoting BoogsMaMa:</b>" :!::!::!::!: Right???"</blockquote> ... [snip!] ... relationship "Do not discuss any major decisions, just go out and do them, communication and compromise are your downfall!" Lol"


I am telling you right now I just hit 8 years with SO, and he would never make that kind of decision unless we both wanted it. NEVER, and if he just did one day and decide I had no say "it's his body" he would lose me, not because I can't comprimise and ultimately we could make that decision but because he didn't care to know how I felt about it.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5404 posts
status 28th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:</b>" There is a BIG difference between saying what you're saying, and people saying that ultimately, it is ... [snip!] ... She really should, if they want to make this work. But she shouldn't tell him what she should or should not do with his body. "</blockquote>




He doesn't want children, she does. I think the key in this situation is that he at least talks to her about it before making such a final decision. Yes he can harvest sperm, have a reversal and what not however that is a financial burden and if there is something else they can do which maybe more realistic then they can work that out. She has already stated she has no intention of forcing her into something he doesn't want however she would at least like to look at the options.

♥. 2 kids; making moves in, TX, United States 1114 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting xTJ:" <blockquote><b>Quoting J u l i a .:</b>" :!: Yes it is quite surprising. Lol"</blockquote> ... [snip!] ... person with major decisions in your life then guess what you will never know how to conduct a relationship of any sort. Lol"


I'd look at him like he lost his damn mind lol.. And where the hell does he think all this money is coming from?! :lol: I would never make a decision like that without my SO first, he doesn't want anymore kids but I wouldn't mind trying for another girl.. He isn't adamant about it though it isn't something that can not be worked out and compromised. We just haven't pressed the issue yet because I haven't even had my second yet lol.. All this can be worked out, but saying her feelings don't matter because it's not her body yeah that's real ridiculous.



Being married isn't the issue either.. Whether they are married or not if they are in a relationship they should talk about important things like this!

MomDIA TTC since May 2008; 81 kids; Warminster, Pennsylvania 3812 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:" And all I've been stressing is that in the end, after the discussing, it's his decision, and she too ... [snip!] ... in the balance. Nothing more. A major factor in this is how long they've been together, and how serious the relationship is. "


She already said she would... you just ignore that and keep babbling about how your an advocate and he has the choice. She said herself if he still felt that it was what he wanted after serious thought she would respect it.

♥. 2 kids; making moves in, TX, United States 1114 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:" And that's all well and good. He's not going for the procedure, he's going for a consult. She has plenty ... [snip!] ... and she isn't ok with that, then they need to figure something out or she needs to move on, since in the end, it is his choice."


She already said she would.. :roll:

suck it 3 kids; New York 16101 posts
28th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:</b>" And that's all well and good. He's not going for the procedure, he's going for a consult. She has plenty ... [snip!] ... and she isn't ok with that, then they need to figure something out or she needs to move on, since in the end, it is his choice."</blockquote>




Holy shit girl, calm down.

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
28th Jan '13

sit down w/him and discuss why he is open to possible adoption in the future but doesnt want to father a biological child. Perhaps he feels like the bond he has w/your 2 from a previous relationship would be altered if a child of his bloodline entered the family.....Mabe there is a family history of health issues (mental or physical)that he doesnt want to chance passing on....Or he could just be content helping to raise your children????

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5404 posts
status 28th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting J u l i a .:</b>" I'd look at him like he lost his damn mind lol.. And where the hell does he think all this money is ... [snip!] ... either.. Whether they are married or not if they are in a relationship they should talk about important things like this! "</blockquote>




Exactly! I mean oh let's just dip into that pot of gold out the back door, you know the one that's going to pay for a vasectomy, sperm harvesting and a reversal failing all else.... Uhm yeah right then. Absolutely as I had stated I would have no issue with DH having a vasectomy however he dared to approach it in that manner with me, in such a way that I was just a piece of dirt on the ground that wasn't even worthy of a sit down chat he wouldn't. have to worry about a medical procedure, I'd cut his balls off right then for him.



Agree about the Marriage thing too, lets face it you treat people you are in a relationship with that level of disrespect that they aren't even worthy of discussing anything with you'll never get near being Married anyway as no one is going to put up with that.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5404 posts
status 28th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:</b>" There is a BIG difference between saying what you're saying, and people saying that ultimately, it is ... [snip!] ... She really should, if they want to make this work. But she shouldn't tell him what she should or should not do with his body. "</blockquote>




She's stated this herself repeatedly that she just wants to talk about it and look at options not that she wants to force him to not do it if that is what he ultimately wants.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5404 posts
status 28th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting BoogsMaMa:</b>" I am telling you right now I just hit 8 years with SO, and he would never make that kind of decision ... [snip!] ... because I can't comprimise and ultimately we could make that decision but because he didn't care to know how I felt about it."</blockquote>




:!: :!: :!: :!:

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5404 posts
status 28th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:</b>" Yeah, we can see that. :) Hence why you and the other lady's posts is what I'm initially replying to, ... [snip!] ... to her. I've been bringing up the what if situations, because I truly disagree with the way you've been wording things. "</blockquote>




So people on here have said that after they sit down and talk about it and talk about other options if he decides he still wants the vasectomy it should be her choice in the end and she should make him not have one?..... I'm sorry but that's BS, absolutely no one said that at all.



What I have seen however is her being told she doesn't even have the right to put forward other ideas (you know have a simple discussion) because he can just harvest his sperm, with that big pot of gold out the back door.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5404 posts
status 28th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting LeTs*StArT*a*RiOt!:</b>" The way I read it, was 'He should be respectful of your opinions!!! I can't believe he'd do this when ... [snip!] ... In a relationship, discussing issues like this are a given. All that was said, was that the final say so is his. Which it is. "</blockquote>



I seen it as people being completely disgusted at someone having the level of disrespect and inconsideration that he seems to think she is so worthless she doesn't even deserve an informed discussion about it. Then people wading in with yup that's right you don't even deserve a discussion, his choice, you don't even deserve 5 minutes of his time, you're nothing to him because you're not even Married anyway.



Relationships are built on communication, comprise, collaboration. Particularly when it comes to major life changing choices.



Anyways seems like people just picking up each other wrong and actually for the most part we all agree.