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Help I'm having OCD relapse applelove 1 child; auburn, CA, United States 6529 posts
28th Jan '13

I am posting this hoping to get some reassurance from other Moms who have experience with OCD. When I say experience with OCD I mean that you really have the disorder not that you "just like a clean house" "or you color coordinate your shoes" I am really struggling today and just need someone who has been here to remind me that things will get better. I guess I need and OCD friend :?



I have had OCD and anxiety disorders for a long time. Well I have been off of most OCD medications for a few years now and I am doing fine.(or I was) In the past I did have some times that the OCD was really bad and I needed medication to function. Anyway I got lucky and with Zoloft, Xanax, and Valium I was able to get stable. Now I only take about 30 Valiums a month.



Well we are moving this month...we are down to just a few days till the move and things just keep going wrong. It is getting so stressful. The stress is really making my OCD get bad. I am really losing control and the OCD is taking over. I am almost to the point of not being able to even pack the house because of new rituals that are coming up. I mean constant new rituals, because everything is moved into new spots.(we are half way packed)




I guess I just needed to vent or somthing...Maybe because I don't have any computer rituals :) So I am able to just sit and type with out issues.

Belle De Jour Due October 8 (boy); 2 kids; Kentucky 19191 posts
28th Jan '13

Have you every tried smoking weed? I have a friend who has OCD really bad and she swore up and down that smoking helped her to relax enough that she didn't have to take the meds so much.
I'm one of those people that just really likes order so I can't help you much but good luck with everything and I hope you find something that helps.

......................... Oregon 14226 posts
28th Jan '13

OMG I hate moving. It like takes my anxiety to the next level. It's like nothing goes right, you realize the mess you've managed to brush aside after so many months of hard work. It's just so difficult. And it seems like everyone is against you and no one is supporting you.



Ok well that's just me. But I can't take moving.



I went to therapy for a little bit, my anxiety and OCD isn't as bad as yours, I think we've talked about it before, but I have just tried keeping myself busy. Trying to ignore the mess, trying to teach myself some cobwebs are ok. But sometimes I just break I can't take it.



Anyways I'm flipping out today, just can't function, I found out my son did indeed have school today when I was told he didn't. Somethings I just can't handle, and then jacob made a cake. To much for me today.

applelove 1 child; auburn, CA, United States 6529 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting Uncle Obama's Banana:" Have you every tried smoking weed? I have a friend who has OCD really bad and she swore up and down that ... [snip!] ... that just really likes order so I can't help you much but good luck with everything and I hope you find something that helps."


Weed is not good for my OCD at all. I am a big advocate for medical marijuana but I don't believe that it can help reduce rituals for anyone. But hey if it can help someone then they should use it. I am sure it can mellow some people out enough to relax. I am not one of those people.




It is the THC the stuff that makes people feel "high" that gives me anxiety. They make this new pill that has the THC removed. So its like a medical Marijuana pill that you can not get high from. I would like to try that. I think it might help but I have a long drive to the dispensary that has that stuff, so I have not tried it yet.



I think its ridiculous that here in CA they have a pill made from a plant that can help people and it will not make people feel "high" but it is still against the law federally. Isn't that stupid?

applelove 1 child; auburn, CA, United States 6529 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:" OMG I hate moving. It like takes my anxiety to the next level. It's like nothing goes right, you realize ... [snip!] ... have school today when I was told he didn't. Somethings I just can't handle, and then jacob made a cake. To much for me today."


Mine has been very bad in the past, to the point of not being able to leave the house.



I feel just like you said about moving, the things being out of order makes me feel a need to do these OCD rituals and its just ridiculous. Sometimes I can't even stop doing them.



My anxiety gets crazy too. For example I was able to get a Dr to call in a Rx for me. So my SO went to town to go get it and that is an hr drive. Now all I can think about is how he might die driving and it will be my fault because he is getting me somthing. I keep calling him to make sure is is OK and being safe and then I think how my phone calls could cause an accident and then he could die and it would be all my fault.



So that is when I start with the OCD rituals. Because my mind thinks that if I do things in a certain way or order or do it the perfect number of times then it will prevent anything bad from happening... like a car accepted. OCD is a weird disorder now that I type this all out I can really see how weird it is. LOL I sure do sound like a nut job

......................... Oregon 14226 posts
28th Jan '13
Quoting applelove:" Mine has been very bad in the past, to the point of not being able to leave the house. I feel just ... [snip!] ... OCD is a weird disorder now that I type this all out I can really see how weird it is. LOL I sure do sound like a nut job"


I definitely don't have it THAT bad, that I have to do things over and over before I think it works. Which I'm grateful for. But my husband thinks I'm officially a nut job. I have to hang all my clothes facing LEFT in the closet, if he does it wrong, I could have a panic attack because then I start thinking about ALL the clothes I have to check, and not just ours but the kid's too, and then once I do that, I'll have to organize them, by shirts, dresses, skirts, short to long. Oh I hate it. I've learned not to even look at his side of the closet. And don't get me started on how he never seperates his underwear from the rest of his clothes. There's a reason why his dresser is in the closet and why I force myself to only go in there when I need to get dressed.



I also have to do everything a certain way. Laundry is done a certain way, down to pushing the buttons on the washer and dryer, to the point where my husband won't do laundry unless he's asking if he's pushing the correct buttons.



I can't eat candy that has different colors, that will give me anxiety. To me they all have different tastes and textures, and some you should never mix, so I very carefully will pour out all my candy when I eat it and seperate them all by color before I eat them, the same way, in the color order I like them in, always finishing with the last color.



I used to have to fold towels a certain way. To the point my ex husband refused to do towels and then this one too. I was able to get over that.



I also do this with eating. You eat things a certain way and in a certain order.



Cleaning. I have to either ignore it or else I'll do it all in a routine fashion in order. And I only use lysol and windex to clean everything that people touch because well 1, I like the smell because I think it smells clean, and because 2, I think it's the only thing that cleans properly.



I've officially been banned from disinfectant wipes because I can burn through a package from costco in about 2 weeks to a month. Depending.



And yarn and fabric. I save EVERYTHING, because I start to worry, what if I ever NEED it. It can be one little square and I'll save it because everything starts going through my head on the 1 million and 1 ways I could use it and that I won't have it if I throw it away.



Yeah, we're officially both nut jobs then.