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Opinions needed kgh41 Due July 30 (girl); USA 42 posts
30th Jan '13

I was with my boyfriend for 6 years.
We had a child.
After 3 months he left.
I went back to my parents house.
I attempted to make things work out, even though I was not in the wrong what so ever, (previous post will explain that). I wanted my family.
Things are not getting better.
I have been job searching daily. On top of caring for my baby.
I have ran out of my savings.
I yesterday was approved for cash aid until I can find a job.
I also just got accepted into school.
Her dad claims he helps with $$ but buying diapers every 2 weeks does not help me entirely. I feel supporting his child alone entails alot more expenses than that. Including my gas to get to dr appt or anything that helps me benefit her. I do not go out, I have no social life. My aid will go to her and school.
He is telling me I am f**king him over. He just found out he is responsible for paying them back. He wants to work out an arrangement. Child support will ask him for what I'm getting now but he wants to work out something else for less. I am not a bad person and despite what he's done to me I am torn between my heart and mind. I don't trust he will cover any expense he promises. And if I end aid and even try to attempt child support I know I'll be delayed any money and I can't afford that.



What do I do? :-(

user banned 3 kids; Washington 15083 posts
30th Jan '13

Do not cancel any orders. He is responsible for her partly. And unless you get married- I would keep everything as is.

M walls 4 kids; Keenesburg, Colorado 7267 posts
30th Jan '13

keep the aid since you know it will be paid every month. The state will take him to court for child support order and once you get off the cash assistance you will start receiving c/s payments (if he makes them)

kgh41 Due July 30 (girl); USA 42 posts
30th Jan '13

Also the reason I didn't go for child support was because he told me he would fight it because "she doesn't need that much money and they f**k the dads".



I didn't know they would come after him for money, I was just doing what I needed to do. I wasn't planning on staying on cash aid any longer than 2 months, I just needed a crutch till I get enrolled in school and finally find a job. It's just hard not being 100% flexible.

The Bear and The Bird 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42577 posts
30th Jan '13

Honestly? Keep what you need to keep to make ends meet.



And IMO any guy who tries to wiggle out of paying adequate cs deserves to get taken to court for every penny you can wring out of him.

user banned 3 kids; Washington 15083 posts
30th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:</b>" Honestly? Keep what you need to keep to make ends meet. And IMO any guy who tries to wiggle out of paying adequate cs deserves to get taken to court for every penny you can wring out of him."</blockquote>



Exactly!

M walls 4 kids; Keenesburg, Colorado 7267 posts
30th Jan '13

Well its always better to have a court ordered support order in place

nothingness Arizona 3578 posts
30th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting kgh41:</b>" Also the reason I didn't go for child support was because he told me he would fight it because "she doesn't ... [snip!] ... 2 months, I just needed a crutch till I get enrolled in school and finally find a job. It's just hard not being 100% flexible."</blockquote>




They don't f**k the dads, unless they deserve it lol my mom pays 800 for my youngest sister a month. That's more than I make in 2 months

Monkey Nuts Australia 4572 posts
30th Jan '13

I don't think some men understand the costs of raising a child.
I guess they perceive that if you were still a couple, they'd be contributing less towards the child/relationship.
But in reality its a lot less.



Let him fight it, he won't win. The only way he wins is by getting a job where he can get paid cash so he doesn't have an income, or by being unemployed.
I don't see how anyone get's screwed over, they use a formula to establish it.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36457 posts
30th Jan '13
Quoting Monkey Nuts:" I don't think some men understand the costs of raising a child. I guess they perceive that if you were ... [snip!] ... doesn't have an income, or by being unemployed. I don't see how anyone get's screwed over, they use a formula to establish it."


This!!!



And if he doesnt pay then it gets backed up and someday he has to pay it all back.



Dont let him wiggle his way out of it. My ex is paying out of the ass in CS. And he loves blaming me for everythign that goes wrong in his life. lol.

mom2andrew&carter 18 kids; Leesburg, Florida 2159 posts
30th Jan '13

he sounds just like my ex. do not cancel your aid it is his responsibilty to help you with the baby. i just went and filed for child support and my ex told me he cant afford to pay for child support i basically told him than he will end up in jail im tired of his bs i didnt make these kids on my own so i shouldnt have to take care of them on my own.