working mamas Noah'sArk Due June 9; Illinois 172 posts30th Jan '13
So I may not technically have a job but for me law school is a full time job. I'm there from 10-5 usually and in the mornings I usually don't get to spend much time with LO because I'm running around trying to get everyone ready for the day including myself. While I'm at school LO is in day care and did dad is in school with me. After we pick him up from day care hes only awake a few hours then goes to bed. I feel like i only get 3-4 hours of time with him and the guilt eats me up. I read the baby books and its like teach your baby how to do this and that. I feel like he spends more time with the teachers at day care than with me so its hard to parent as well. I'm not making excuses for myself or anything. He is a really well behaved baby. I know my situation is not unique because many moms have to go back to work within a couple months of giving birth. I'm just wondering how you handle not being able to see your baby as much as a stay at home mom. I try to not feel guilty and tell myself Im doing the bet I can but I dunno. just wondering how you all handle it
Vitameatavegamin 19 kids; League City, Texas 5828 posts30th Jan '13
For over a year I worked at a local amusement park, probably missed more than half of DS's first year of life. I was only making 7.65 an hour, so I had to bust my booty to make ends meet, so quite often I would wake up and leave for work before the kids woke up, and not get home until 1am when they were in bed. And I usually only had 1 day off a week, sometimes not even that. :( I understand what you're going through, but just think, it could be worst. You could get NO time with them, like I had to many many days.
Kimmy Gibbler 2 kids; Grapevine, Texas 8002 posts30th Jan '13
You don't get to see your baby as much as a SAHM and it is really emotional and difficult. And yes, there is a lot of guilt involved. You just have to remind yourself that you are doing it to better your family. Then, you have to make up your lack of quantity time with QUALITY time. For instance, I usually work (I'm not working right now due to complications with my pregnancy) from Tuesday-Saturday 9-6 and Tuesday 11-8. Sunday it's just myself and my little man... so we go on a date. We don't watch TV, we don't sit around, we go and do something fun. Even if it means donuts or something because we can't afford something else. Your LO is little bitty right now so that's not necessary at this point, but it does make it easier as they get older.
I♡C&R. 2 kids; Thornton, CO, United States 24640 posts30th Jan '13
Hard to explain because I stayed home the first 2 years with him before going off to work. I went to work 30-40 hours a week at that point and have ever since. It's almost been a year. Let me just say it's not the same, but it has done him and I good in more ways then one. I feel like since I've went off to work, he's became vocal and talks a lot more, he's learning more than he was when I was home with him, and he's not upset when I leave for appointments or dinner with Dad. It gets him out, me out, I get interaction with adults, etc. Yeah, the house isn't as clean, errands wait until weekend, etc, but it's done us a lot of good. Good outweighs bad when I look at the positives. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him or think of him at work or get teary eyed seeing other toddlers come in to my work place, but I've adjusted and so has Christopher. It's just something you adjust to. You learn to put the laundry and dishes off one more day and you pack the lunches and lay out clothes once LO is in bed. You learn to work around them. You spend those 3-4 hours together the best you can. I WISH I worked only 10-5 and had all evenings with Christopher. I work a lot of mids or nights and rarely get even that much time each day with him and on days off, I end up doing all that hasn't got done on the days I worked like house work and grocery shopping. I work a lot of 12-8:30 or 2-10;30...now THAT is tough. Cheer up and look at the positives. I promise he'll learn just as good in Daycare as he would at home...if not BETTER :) Interaction is good for him.
whoknowsx New York, 1185 posts30th Jan '13
I wonder this too... I'm fortunate that while I'm in school I am only there two days a week but I panick at graduating and starting my job at the firm working from 9-9 m-f. I think what it comes down to is making the most of the time that you have. On the weekend give him your undivided attention -- maybe even take some mommy and me classes. After school make it all about the baby. And like the people above said... remember that you are not missing out on parts of his life because you are just out and about. You are doing it for the betterment of yourself and your family.
BTW Noah is an absolute doll!
BTW Noah is an absolute doll!