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Adoption, where do I start? Colt's mommy 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 20544 posts
30th Jan '13

DH and I are thinking about adopting a toddler. Is the best way to do it through fostering? I don't want this to sound horrible, but we do not want to spend over $10k (which would mean taking out a loan) to adopt a child who needs a good home. We are capable of having more children but we would love to adopt since DH and all his brothers and sister are adopted and we want a sibling close to our 3 yo's age. Also, pregnancy is a b***h. Where do we even start? Do we HAVE to foster first? My employer helps out with adoption I've heard. I haven't talked to the lady yet, but it says something about paying for the cost of an uncomplicated live birth and I just wasn't sure if that goes for older children or just newborns. I was just wondering if there's anyway to adopt a toddler with out fostering first and how much that is.

I know this is a bit scrambled, lol, sorry. I'm not good with learning about things like this but I just need an idea if this is realistic in the near future or if it's something we need to save up money for. Was also wondering if there is even anyone on here that has adopted a toddler without fostering first and all about that, since that's what I'm most interested in if possible.

I love Daisy xxxx Due July 4; Manchester, United Kingdom 1422 posts
30th Jan '13
Quoting Colt's mommy:" DH and I are thinking about adopting a toddler. Is the best way to do it through fostering? I don't want ... [snip!] ... that has adopted a toddler without fostering first and all about that, since that's what I'm most interested in if possible."

If you foster instead of adopt you get money for the child, im not sure how much you would get for adoption though.To foster is free in the u.k.Many people do it as a source of income.

Colt's mommy 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 20544 posts
30th Jan '13
Quoting Kayleigh-louise Moran:" If you foster instead of adopt you get money for the child, im not sure how much you would get for adoption though.To foster is free in the u.k.Many people do it as a source of income."


I've looked in to how much you recieve as a foster parent and it's a few hundred dollars a month. I'm not interested in that part of it, we're interested in having a second child that is close in age to our biological child. We always planned on having two, close together. It didn't work out like we imagined and don't want to get pregnant and have an infant. And, of course, we love the benefit of giving a child a loving home and chance at a good life with us.

Bethyboo wants a VBAC! Due July 6; 18 kids; Mississippi 1194 posts
30th Jan '13

I would foster. Tell them in the beginning that you are going intothis looking to adopt so they dont put a kid with you for temp placement. It would be hard to get attached and then the parents get their shit together & they are taken from you. My grandmaw fostered for 4 yeats and I lived with her. They will continue to pay you after you adopt. I think they also keep insurance through the state on them. Although I dont think thats your intention.

Colt's mommy 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 20544 posts
30th Jan '13
Quoting Bethyboo wants a VBAC!:" I would foster. Tell them in the beginning that you are going intothis looking to adopt so they dont ... [snip!] ... you after you adopt. I think they also keep insurance through the state on them. Although I dont think thats your intention."


That's kind of what I was thinking. I mean, I don't want foster children in and out of my home. I hope that doesn't sound bad. We just want a second child. I've always wanted 2 children and it's looking like we don't intend on having another biological child.

I love Daisy xxxx Due July 4; Manchester, United Kingdom 1422 posts
30th Jan '13
Quoting Colt's mommy:" That's kind of what I was thinking. I mean, I don't want foster children in and out of my home. I hope ... [snip!] ... want a second child. I've always wanted 2 children and it's looking like we don't intend on having another biological child. "

You can do long term fostering, basically the same as adopting but different name to it..You can have the child up too 18 years plus and it's still fostering.

-Kaysay- 2 kids; Italy 5611 posts
30th Jan '13

DUDE. DH and I want to adopt as well and were just looking into it the other day.



We know a ton of foster parents, so I will ask them how it all works.



Aaaaand.... we really need to get together one of these days. :)

Bethyboo wants a VBAC! Due July 6; 18 kids; Mississippi 1194 posts
30th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Colt's mommy:</b>" That's kind of what I was thinking. I mean, I don't want foster children in and out of my home. I hope ... [snip!] ... want a second child. I've always wanted 2 children and it's looking like we don't intend on having another biological child. "</blockquote>




That doesn't sound bad at all.
I think its amazing of yall to give a child a loving home. ESPECIALLY since you can concieve. Of course you know that a lot of these kids have came from homes of abuse. They can & probably will have a lot of problems but with therapy and a lot of love and understanding from you guys the child will do great. I really hope you guys are able to start this process soon. Good luck

Colt's mommy 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 20544 posts
30th Jan '13
Quoting -Kaysay-:" DUDE. DH and I want to adopt as well and were just looking into it the other day. We know a ton of ... [snip!] ... ton of foster parents, so I will ask them how it all works. Aaaaand.... we really need to get together one of these days. :)"



That's awesome! We have always been interested in adopting since DH and his siblings are all adopted. We just feel like our family isn't complete yet and we're sooooo back and forth with having another biological kid.

And, yeah, lol, we do!! Even at least for dinner or something! We just started using this drop in day care in Moore, it's only $7.50 an hour and Colt loves it! And it gets him out of the house and interacting with other kids. So, if you ever want to meet up some weekend we can, or do play dates too!

Colt's mommy 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 20544 posts
30th Jan '13
Quoting Bethyboo wants a VBAC!:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Colt's mommy:</b>" That's kind of what I was thinking. I mean, ... [snip!] ... and understanding from you guys the child will do great. I really hope you guys are able to start this process soon. Good luck"


That is one part that worries me about adopting older children but I know we can give them a great home and nurturing environment and a chance that they might not have otherwise.

CLC 13 Weeks Due October 23; TTC since Jul 2009; 1 child; 1 angel baby; Nebraska 1626 posts
30th Jan '13

We are foster parents and we usually get teenage girls. I live it they are so helpful around the house. I get paid between $450-650 a month. The extra income is really nice since I'm sahm I consider that my income. It really isn't too hard when they have yo leave unless you know they're going back to an abusive home. Do get calls all th time to adopt kids but they usually want you to adopt 2 or 3 kids that are siblings and are already free for adoption. But they usually range from age 7-12 which may be older than you want.

Amanda&ZamJam 2 kids; Oklahoma 16770 posts
1st Feb '13

If you want, I can talk to my dad and stepmom about all this for you. They are fostering now and had hoped in the beginning to adopt. It actually turned around for the parents and now they are probably going back to their parents in a month or less.

Colt's mommy 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 20544 posts
1st Feb '13
Quoting Amanda&ZamJam:" If you want, I can talk to my dad and stepmom about all this for you. They are fostering now and had ... [snip!] ... to adopt. It actually turned around for the parents and now they are probably going back to their parents in a month or less."


Yeah, that would be great! I know we need to take some classes if we want to foster, but not sure about adopting. And I'm still not sure wether we HAVE to foster first before adopting.