Gonna go snuggle with DH.
I am so sorry for your loss. You already know the way you're handling things isn't the healthiest. Have you tried talking to your DH about how you feel. Like exactly where your mind is. If so how does he respond.
I dont the answer. Thankfully I have never lost a child, I do not know the pain or how to come back above it.
but I do think you should try to heal from your loss and IMO trying to concieve isnt the healthiest way to go about it
I wish you luck hun, and much love.
I was like that after I went a couple months without a period only to find out that it was a cyst causing it. I wanted a baby so badly... but SO didn't. Everytime we had sex & I could tell he was holding back I would burst into tears. I knew for the most part I was mentally fucked up but I couldn't help it. The feelings took 2 months to sunside. Sorry your going through this :(
I went through the same feelings after I lost the pregnancy before this one. I quit taking my birth control and it took over a year for us to concieve. I wasn't actively trying either. Finally, I told him to get my a cat or get me pregnant. Here I am 10 months later and I am 36 weeks pregnant. After I said that to him, we got busy all the time and it finally worked. Try talking it over with your DH and see what he says. I thought I needed to see a therapist but just talking to my sweetheart, my depression is getting better and easier to manage.
I am sorry for your loss I wish I knew what to say I miscarried after thinking I wasn't able to have kids the only thing that got me out of bed was telling myself I got pregnant once it will be easier the next time and 8 months later I was pregnant with my son. I was on a mission to have a baby after my mc it didn't take away the pain but it did allow me to deal with it and move forward instead of feeling lost in grief.
I am so sorry you are struggling. As much as people might seem to act like miscarriage is not that big of a deal, it IS really hard to deal with. Part of what makes it harder is the fear of judgement when you do open up & share what you truly feel. You think people will think you are weak or scary or whatever....
I think you are struggling with very very normal feelings after loss. Keep talking about it & letting it out & you WILL find your way. I NEVER thought I would be okay again, like really really okay when we had so many losses in a row & no children & people kept saying shit like "I don't know why you'd do this to yourself" as if me wanting kids was some foregin concept all of a sudden... What helped me was finding women who had been through it or were going through it & just talking about it - a LOT...and then talking some more. I started to realize , oh shit I am not crazy, this is normal, it's called "the grief process" and I will be okay.
I am truly sorry momma & if you want to talk anytime, let me know.