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i just want to feel wanted and needed. That Girl. 2 kids; Florida 4109 posts
3rd Feb '13

But instead I feel like I'm not good enough. I seem to be the only one whose really trying. Especially in sex. I go down on him, so four play with him. Then he just jumps to the point..
Then bam is done. Then recently I tried to initiate sex with dh and he was apparently masterbating and watchinf porn for 3 hours straight bedore I walked in. Well I was upset because instead of asking me if I wanted to have sex.. he pretends to go to bed. Well then I was trying to get it started when he picks up his phone and says I just need to get a boost. My confidence is on the floor and has been. I have been chosen second to porn too many times. I posting this because I don't have anyone to talk to. I have voiced how he makes me feel and how porn is a problem, but he obviously doesn't care. Talking doesn't seem to work. I wanna some how show him. I Am to the point where I don't want to have sex with him anymore, and just let him have his porn.

user banned 2 kids; Hamilton, Ontario 19220 posts
3rd Feb '13

Im all for porn, but if I was second to porn...pick one or the other buddy, I dont deserve to feel like that.



Adn 3 hours!!!!! Holy f**k

That Girl. 2 kids; Florida 4109 posts
3rd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting A Beautiful Disaster:</b>" Im all for porn, but if I was second to porn...pick one or the other buddy, I dont deserve to feel like that. Adn 3 hours!!!!! Holy f**k"</blockquote>




Its not that I don't like porn. Its him deciding to watch porn instead of me. I did try and watch it with him but he literally didn't take his face off the screen while we had sex. It made me feel as if he were trying to imagine he was else where or having sex with tje girls on the screen.

KelseyLynn 1 child; Douglasville, Georgia 555 posts
3rd Feb '13

Who in the f**k can watch porn for 3 hours? I LOVE porn and could NEVER watch it that long. Im sorry hun :/ that breaks my heaet you are feeling that way. My ex made me feel that way & I eventually couldn't take it anymore. Have you spoken to him about it?

homes cool 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Indiana 60938 posts
3rd Feb '13

I got that in the mail for you <3

~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
3rd Feb '13

Sounds like he's trying to live in a fantasy land lol next time he invites friends over, dress slightly revealing so he catches them looking at you. I'm currently going through a rough spell with SO not wanting to put out so I've decided since I don't feel wanted I'm going to start dressing in a way that makes me feel good about myself. I'm ditching the sweats for tighter fitting clothes & I will be fully doing my makeup & hair(SO doesn't like it when we go out in public because I get gawked at)

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
3rd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:</b>" Sounds like he's trying to live in a fantasy land lol next time he invites friends over, dress slightly ... [snip!] ... fitting clothes & I will be fully doing my makeup & hair(SO doesn't like it when we go out in public because I get gawked at)"</blockquote>



That's so stupid. Your so sounds like a controlling ass.



Op, Are you as recently pp as your profile says? If you are we're you two not having sex at the end of your pregnancy? Did the porn come into play then?

That Girl. 2 kids; Florida 4109 posts
3rd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:</b>" Sounds like he's trying to live in a fantasy land lol next time he invites friends over, dress slightly ... [snip!] ... fitting clothes & I will be fully doing my makeup & hair(SO doesn't like it when we go out in public because I get gawked at)"</blockquote>




He wouldn't even care. His friend already does check me out all the time.

That Girl. 2 kids; Florida 4109 posts
3rd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommaSav2:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:</b>" Sounds like he's trying to live in ... [snip!] ... as your profile says? If you are we're you two not having sex at the end of your pregnancy? Did the porn come into play then?"</blockquote>




I'm almost 6 weeks pp. Porns been a constant problem since we married 3 years ago.



I keep telling myself that I will not continue to be chosen over porn and I will not compete with it and I always end up doing so. I seriously feel that I make constant compromises with him and he doesn't even meet me in the middle. I'm about to cut his ass off from sex and he can enjoy his f**king hand. Seriously we only have sex when he wants it, whicch is when he doesn't have time to watch porn.

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
3rd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting That Girl.:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting MommaSav2:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ~The Lunar ... [snip!] ... he can enjoy his f**king hand. Seriously we only have sex when he wants it, whicch is when he doesn't have time to watch porn."</blockquote>



Have you said flat out that it's a real problem for you? That you don't want to have sex with him anymore if porn is going to be his first choice?

That Girl. 2 kids; Florida 4109 posts
3rd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting MommaSav2:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting That Girl.:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting MommaSav2:</b>" ... [snip!] ... out that it's a real problem for you? That you don't want to have sex with him anymore if porn is going to be his first choice?"</blockquote>




Yepp. We've talked about it countless times. And he said he'd stop by he never does, he just is sneaky about it. Like hell say he doesn't want to have sex then he waits until asleep and sneaks off to watch it. When we were fixing to have sex and he said hold on I'm need a boost he already had the porn pulled up. I got mad and said really u need a boost, so I said its pretty shitty that you need to watch porn while I'm next to u. He expected me to lay there while he watched it and then he was going to have sex. I just got dressed and walked out the room while he continued his business.

maria30 2 kids; Florida 57 posts
3rd Feb '13

similar situation here. been 2 weeks of no sex primarily because I never initiate it anymore. He watches porn videos and heaven knows whatelse he does and he deleted his browsing history right away. But this morning he tried to touch me but our son was already awake and not in the mood for quickie so I told him..."ok here's your phone that will take care of everything and I can take care of my self" and I walked away. I'm tired competing with porn!

user banned Japan 41 posts
4th Feb '13

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EnnaBennaBanana Due February 2; 2 kids; Maryland 6195 posts
4th Feb '13
Quoting That Girl.:" But instead I feel like I'm not good enough. I seem to be the only one whose really trying. Especially ... [snip!] ... I wanna some how show him. I Am to the point where I don't want to have sex with him anymore, and just let him have his porn."


It sounds like maybe an addiction? 3 hours??? and then him needing to look at porn for a boost? Idk sounds very close to an addiction to me.



I don't watch porn or care for it because of religious AND non religious reasons. But I know some people are OK with it in their relationship.. and that's fine I'm not going to concern myself with what others do in their relationship.. BUT If it's causing issues like this it sounds like porn is a big issue. And there should defanitly be something done about it. If you have talked to him about porn in the past and he's just not listening you need to make it clear that it's starting to HURT really bad and you can't put up with it much more. I would try to help him, give him support.. maybe counseling? Alot of churches offer free counseling. And there are groups for men at some churches that deal with porn issues. And it helps them stop that habit and gives them support. I would defanitly DO something though.