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lamr - 02-08-13-21 2 kids; Crazytown, ON, Canada 5922 posts
3rd Feb '13

How is she supposed to apologize if you don't answer the phone?



I'd be super pissed too and I don't think you're in the wrong at all



That being said, i do think someone needs to be the bigger person and make the first move in repairing this relationship. They're not random people, they're your inlaws and your husbands family. They mean something to him, so you need to figure out a way to make it peaceful, for his sake.

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14109 posts
3rd Feb '13

I think you, DH, SIL, MIL, and your mom need to have a sit-down and hash everything out.



But I have to agree with The Doctor about not inviting her to your son's birthday. I totally understand why you wouldn't want her there but I feel like excluding a certain person from a family get together is a particularly painful slap in the face. So I understand where your MIL is coming from, especially since her daughter probably fed her a pack of lies.

MunchkinWrangler 4 kids; Rīga, Latvia 46773 posts
3rd Feb '13

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lamr - 02-08-13-21 2 kids; Crazytown, ON, Canada 5922 posts
3rd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting MunchkinWrangler:</b>" Uh no. Its not my problem that her friend diowned her because I took a cat she neglected and left out ... [snip!] ... her damn problem. It had nothing to do with her. I took the cat. She chose to involve herself. That was her decision, not mine."</blockquote>



True. She should have just kept her mouth shut and said she didn't know where the cat went.

MunchkinWrangler 4 kids; Rīga, Latvia 46773 posts
3rd Feb '13
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user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
3rd Feb '13

Well no wonder this is an on-going battle.



Just suck it up and apologize for it, even if you don't really mean it or want to. It's part of being an adult. Her friendship got messed up because you took a cat, even with good intentions, and she's pissed at you for ruining it. That's probably all she wants.



That's all I'm saying. You're both acting like children, to be perfectly honest.

MunchkinWrangler 4 kids; Rīga, Latvia 46773 posts
3rd Feb '13

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Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14109 posts
3rd Feb '13
Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" Even if I had wanted to invite her, she cut all ties before that. Id have had to ask my MIL to invite ... [snip!] ... Last thing I want at my sons birthday is drama, and honestly he didn't care if she was there or not. Its about him, not her."


Okay, I was just trying to offer you perspective from the other side. Yes, MIL and SIL are both in the wrong - totally agree with that. But if you want to resolve anything, you have to kind of be the bigger person and reach out. If you're fine with everyone being pissed off, including your DH being irritated with you, then don't do anything. But if you want them to see your side you have to get everyone together and explain yourself without flying off the handle no matter how pissed you are.

~The Lunar Flower~ Due January 13; 1 child; Alabama 6738 posts
3rd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting lamr - 02-08-13-21:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting MunchkinWrangler:</b>" Uh no. Its not my problem that her friend ... [snip!] ... not mine."</blockquote> True. She should have just kept her mouth shut and said she didn't know where the cat went."</blockquote>



She abandoned that cat along with 4 others so I agree! SIL shouldn't have said anything at all. Instead she sold out family for an animal neglecting friend

MunchkinWrangler 4 kids; Rīga, Latvia 46773 posts
3rd Feb '13

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MunchkinWrangler 4 kids; Rīga, Latvia 46773 posts
3rd Feb '13

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Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14109 posts
3rd Feb '13
Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" I don't WANT to fix things with them, I guess that's the biggest factor in this issue. I have no desire ... [snip!] ... to b***h ME out. I don't want to hear it. You know? I guess if that means everyone will be pissed- that's what will happen."


I don't think you should apologize since you didn't do anything wrong. If your DH sees where you're coming from and is okay with it then don't stress. If I were you I'd just call her back just to please DH. And if she b***hes you out, that's just further backing up your reasoning for not wanting to talk to her.

The Bear and The Bird 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42577 posts
3rd Feb '13

Doesn't sound like you really want opinions, since you're getting really snappy right now.



Don't associate with her if you don't want to but don't keep her from her nephew. That's beyond childish and petty.

user banned 1 child; Germany 12377 posts
3rd Feb '13
Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:" Doesn't sound like you really want opinions, since you're getting really snappy right now. Don't associate ... [snip!] ... right now. Don't associate with her if you don't want to but don't keep her from her nephew. That's beyond childish and petty."

I don't agree.



I think it's petty to keep a child from a family member just to spite them or hurt them. But I do not think it's petty if it's a result of something else. I didn't talk to my mom for a year, which meant she couldn't see DD... I didn't do that to hurt her, but if someone is toxic to my life they cannot be in my childs life.

MunchkinWrangler 4 kids; Rīga, Latvia 46773 posts
3rd Feb '13

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