Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" I guess I just am afraid to call her back. I don't want to. She's really nasty when she wants to be. I mean, I guess it's only words... but they sting all the same. I'd just rather not hear it."
Yeah, I get that. That's why I only call my father like once a year lol. We're civil now, though. If it means a lot to DH, suck it up and do it. If he doesn't really care, do what you want. But it sounds like it bothers him so try to put your [rightful] anger aside and take his feelings into consideration.
Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" Yeah, that makes sense. If it makes him happy, I should... but I just don't even know what i would say ... [snip!] ... none of this makes sense. Its so incredibly stupid that it couldn't have been conjured up in a sober mind. I don't know..."
Yup, that's exactly what you say lol. "I missed your call, what's up?"
Was she sober when this shit started?
Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" I don't know. I hadn't talked to her in a while because DH and I have been working so much. During ... [snip!] ... got better and realized what she was missing out on in her kids lives. I can see it happening again. It would explain a lot."
It sounds like they both have a problem. Alcoholism is a tough thing to deal with for both the addict and their loved ones. But I completely and utterly understand your non-desire to have them around. As much as it sucks for them because they can't help it, you don't need your family involved with that. I have a couple of alcoholics in my family and as much as I love them, it just seems like I'm continually frustrated with them.
Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" yeah as DH puts it, MIL has always been that way and hes learned to just put up with it. Hes still involved ... [snip!] ... maybe she is taking out her stupid choices on me. Its probably easier to be mad at me than admit she has done anything wrong."
Dude, you just described my mother[like your MIL] and my husband [like your SIL]. It's just an effect of the disease I guess. It's tough to deal with and luckily you have the choice to distance yourself from them. It's a little harder for your DH because that's his family.
Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" I feel bad. He grew up around that. He doesn't know what its like not to have that in your family but ... [snip!] ... Its normal to him so he doesn't see the huge problem. Thankfully he didn't take after the rest of his family. He doesn't drink."
I'm glad to hear he didn't follow that path. I understand not trusting her with small kids. Do you have someone else you can trust to babysit, like your mom?
Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" Yeah, my mom does but DH gets mad when my mom can't and I won't consider asking his mom."
Does she drink all day, everyday or just at night? Maybe you could have her watch them only for an hour or 2 and ask your mom for the longer stretches, that way it feels like they both have equal time.
I have no one to watch my kiddos. :( They come everywhere with me. My mother isn't interested and MIL lives in Poland.
Quoting MunchkinWrangler:" Lets put it this way... She drinks with breakfast, puts alcohol in her water bottle for work. Drinks ... [snip!] ... she had been drinking. There is always an excuse.... She's tired, she doesn't feel good, her head hurts... Blah blah blah"
Oh so she's full-blown, wow. Does your DH not understand that she's not capable of taking care of herself, let alone a child? Do you ever tell him that she just says no anyway, so there's no point in asking? He's probably just in denial.