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Parenting: Am I Doing It Wrong? Megarielle 1 child; 2 angel babies; Waterloo, Iowa 1673 posts
3rd Feb '13

I was talking to another mother with a two year old yesterday in RL. She seemed taken aback that I felt my life with Alex was so effortless (I swear I'm not gloating). She seemed to think I was overlooking something parenting wise. She couldn't give me any specifics, but she was a customer at my work, so it's not like we were in an ideal place for some gab time. So I am trusting you ladies to give me the straight stuff...
Our days when I work go like this: Alex wakes up and comes and wakes me up. We cuddle for a half hour or so before we get up around ten. We'll watch some Thomas the Train or Calliou on Hulu before we go downstairs and eat something. I usually just let him choose something out of the refrigerator. Today we had a birthday oreo and some chicken alfredo. (we're still recovering from his birthday party, so that's why the cookie) I'll put on a half hour Winnie the Pooh tape we can clean to (the living room is always a mess). Afterwards we'll collapse in the recliner and lay back and read something (like our GIANT copy of Mama, Do You Love Me?... which I might have memorized. lol) Then I tell Alex to play with his toys while I get a little time to check my email, facebook, BG, etc. After we scrounge up something for lunch. We'll probably have oranges and lil smokies today since he's all about those things lately. Then we usually just play around until he gets tired enough for a nap or dirty enough for a bath. Naps he usually takes from 1 or 2 until about 3 or whenever I need to wake him for Grandma's house. If it's a bath then I'll wrap him in a towel and we'll cuddle in the recliner until he hits his hyper streak and then I'll let him "air out" for awhile. We usually do that until we have to get ready to go, so I'll put a diaper and some clothes on him, then we'll go over to my mom's and I go to work. I usually work until anywhere from midnight - 2am (busy nights take awhile to close from). So, he's always asleep when I pick him up. If he wakes up a lot by the time we get home (I only live a couple miles from my parents) he'll sleep with me. Otherwise he sleeps in his own room.
My days off are pretty much the same up until the point when I usually bring him to my mom's. Instead I either think of an errand we need to run or we just play. We sort of snack all evening until we make a run to my work so I can pick up some movies. We do watch a lot of movies, but it's mostly because I try to stay ahead of the customers, so when a movie comes out I can tell them if it's good or not. Alex used to go to bed pretty late, but for a couple months now I'll try to get him ready for bed by 9. In his room he has three options for going to bed... he has his swing, his bouncer, and his actual bed. I let him pick which one and which blanket he wants, help him put his clothes in his hamper, say a prayer with him, sing him a couple songs, then leave him to go to sleep. I'll probably check on him an hour or two after that. He's usually asleep.



Other things that might be bad:
I have a rule that if he can start a movie himself, he can watch it(unless we have something else we need to do). I have VHS, so he's able to handle the movies without damaging them.
I am in the habit of letting him read pretty graphic books, like my pregnancy body book... I let him ask questions and I try and answer them as honestly as I can, but I wonder if there's such thing as TMI for toddlers?
I've been closing a lot, so I might be falling asleep on the job a little more... the mom job, that is. A lot of times I'll often just turn our morning cuddle time into another hour of sleep. Luckily, he'll often join me. :)
If he throws a tantrum I'll often just leave him to his own devices. I figure when he's done he can come get a hug.



...I think that's it.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15185 posts
3rd Feb '13

I think you're doing fine but he should have better breakfasts and less tv. There should be more physical activity going on.

Angel [Mariah's Mommy] 1 child; Indianapolis, Indiana 18064 posts
3rd Feb '13

My only issue is, why is he sleeping in a swing or bouncer...

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14109 posts
3rd Feb '13

You're not giving him anything healthy. But other than that you're doing good. Toddlers are much easier than babies, plus you know him and have already gotten the hang of caring for him. And you also get breaks from him.

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
3rd Feb '13

I'd feed him healthier. And not give him so many options for sleep, how big/old is he to be able to fit in a swing or bouncer still, but to also be able to make his own decisions?

Megarielle 1 child; 2 angel babies; Waterloo, Iowa 1673 posts
3rd Feb '13
Quoting Angel [Mariah's Mommy]:" My only issue is, why is he sleeping in a swing or bouncer..."

I guess I never saw a reason to not let him... I suppose it all started when I was first getting him to sleep in his own room... he was so upset and he asked to sleep in his swing and I had nothing against it.

Angel [Mariah's Mommy] 1 child; Indianapolis, Indiana 18064 posts
3rd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Megarielle:</b>" I guess I never saw a reason to not let him... I suppose it all started when I was first getting him ... [snip!] ... first getting him to sleep in his own room... he was so upset and he asked to sleep in his swing and I had nothing against it."</blockquote>



Uh yeah that's bad for his back and he's probably exceeded the weight limit

Ravey Candyass 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Boston, Massachusetts 103128 posts
3rd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Angel [Mariah's Mommy]:</b>" My only issue is, why is he sleeping in a swing or bouncer..."</blockquote>




You're not concerned with alfredo and cookies from breakfast?

I'm His Amy He's My Rory 2 kids; Caldwell, Idaho 49251 posts
3rd Feb '13

The whole eating thing made me cringe. I think you need to feed him real meals with better foods. I would NEVER give my kid a cookie for breakfast. He may get a ginger cookie while I make dinner or with his lunch, but breakfast really? A 2 year old is not capable of making meal choices, you're mom for a reason you need to do that. And a swing or bouncer at 2? That's UNSAFE. They have weight and age limits. He's big enough to be in a bed either with you or his own.

ILOVEWINE Due April 24; 2 kids; Sweden 10814 posts
3rd Feb '13

That's a lot tv and bad food. I think you show him a lot of love and attention though which is wonderful. But I would cut out the tv expect maybe 30-45 min a day snd fix him real meals.... The baby swing and bouncer should go.

Megarielle 1 child; 2 angel babies; Waterloo, Iowa 1673 posts
3rd Feb '13
Quoting Supafly★:" You're not giving him anything healthy. But other than that you're doing good. Toddlers are much easier ... [snip!] ... easier than babies, plus you know him and have already gotten the hang of caring for him. And you also get breaks from him. "

I'm trying to give him more fruits and veggies. That's usually part of the letting him choose what he wants. He LOVES broccoli! Unfortunately his party emptied our fridge, so we're out of everything right now.

P Pickle Pants 98 kids; California 20522 posts
3rd Feb '13

Poor food choices
A lot of TV, IMO
Why is he sleeping in a swing/bouncer?

Megarielle 1 child; 2 angel babies; Waterloo, Iowa 1673 posts
3rd Feb '13
Quoting Mayhem.:" I'd feed him healthier. And not give him so many options for sleep, how big/old is he to be able to fit in a swing or bouncer still, but to also be able to make his own decisions?"

He's two and the swing doesn't seem to have any weight issues. He was weighed in at 26 lbs at the docs the day after his birthday...

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14109 posts
3rd Feb '13
Quoting Megarielle:" I'm trying to give him more fruits and veggies. That's usually part of the letting him choose what he ... [snip!] ... him choose what he wants. He LOVES broccoli! Unfortunately his party emptied our fridge, so we're out of everything right now."


He's 2. YOU choose what he eats. It's fine giving him healthy options for him to pick but a cookie for breakfast should be out of the question. And I completely missed the whole swing/bouncer thing. The weight limits for those is 20lbs. Now, with what you're feeding him I wouldn't be surprised if he's not much over 20lbs but as others have said it's bad on his back. Does he have a bed of his own?

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15185 posts
3rd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Megarielle:</b>" I'm trying to give him more fruits and veggies. That's usually part of the letting him choose what he ... [snip!] ... him choose what he wants. He LOVES broccoli! Unfortunately his party emptied our fridge, so we're out of everything right now."</blockquote>




He's 2. He doesn't know what food choices are good. It's your job to teach him what choices are so he CAN make good choices when he's older. At this rate he's going to eat cookies and noodles for breakfast be side you taught him it was okay.



Fat cells established in childhood will be caught for the rest of your life.



It's your job to make sure your child has healthy food available at all times.