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Piecey. TTC since Jul 2014; 3 kids; K-Town, KL, Germany 64019 posts
3rd Feb '13
Quoting BG Secrets:" I stay because I still love him so much. The latest thing is he keeps searching and searching for his ... [snip!] ... happen again just so I can say "Alright this time was enough I'm leaving" but I never have the strength to. I feel so stupid."


You're not stupid. He's probably taking advantage of the fact he knows you are weak and won't go. You need to muster that strength though because you don't want to set the example for your son/daughter that it's okay to treat people/be treated that way.

Jane.Doe. Fukushima, Japan 2805 posts
3rd Feb '13

It depends how invested YOU are in the relationship. How do you feel about him? Do you still love him like you did before? Do you WANT to be with him? If so, tell him in order to save your relationship he needs to just delete his facebook and stop speaking to other women like he's single and maybe you two can try counseling. Otherwise, I would just tell him to gtfo and start giving you alimony and child support lol I would probably physically harm my husband if I found that crap

BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
3rd Feb '13

I can say he hasn't done it lately but I don't know if he has talked to anyone lately. Since he now deletes it ALL. Even innocent texts he will delete because he hits the delete all button. I know it was stupid to ask, it is a no brainer but god I feel so helpless. I don't really know where to go.

Loretta West [+1] Due March 26; TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 6037 posts
status 3rd Feb '13
Quoting Javi's Mami*[Bazinga!]:" I would have left a long time ago. You deserve more than that."


:!::!:

Nikkie Beee Due January 29; 2 kids; Victorville, California 3968 posts
3rd Feb '13

Clearly it's not going to change. Leave and move on. You deserve better. He has a woman at home more than willing to be HIS woman and that's not enough. Leave.Leave.Leave.




(Went through this SAME exact thing with BD)

user banned New York 15996 posts
3rd Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" I can say he hasn't done it lately but I don't know if he has talked to anyone lately. Since he now deletes ... [snip!] ... delete all button. I know it was stupid to ask, it is a no brainer but god I feel so helpless. I don't really know where to go."</blockquote>




Thats a HUGE BIG RED sign if hes deleting things!!

Ellie Goulding 1 child; London, --, United Kingdom 4688 posts
status 3rd Feb '13

Yep, I would be out of there SO QUICK.
I could never be with someone I don't trust totally.
You deserve so much better than that.

Turtley Mikey Due October 31; 2 kids; California 50611 posts
3rd Feb '13

If you really have to ask this, I think you already know the answer.



The dude is a serial cheater and doesn't look to be stopping anytime soon.

!!Katie!! 1 child; Tennessee 2794 posts
3rd Feb '13

They say "Once a cheated, always a cheater". Lord knows how many times he's cheated. Not being "intimate in the bedroom" (as you said) is usually one of the first signs of cheating (not that it's always the case, but it can be a good indicator)



I'd leave, and leave fast. If you stay with him, you're setting yourself up for a life of hurt. I'm sorry, but move on, life is too short and precious to waste your time on dirty a*****es like this.



Good luck hun.

Life is a Highway ♫ 18 kids; Australia 9381 posts
4th Feb '13

!!Katie!! 1 child; Tennessee 2794 posts
4th Feb '13
Quoting Life is a Highway ♫:" If he's deleting it then he's hiding something."

:!::!::!:

BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
4th Feb '13

I truly thank you ladies for reading and giving me advice. I seriously didn't know where else to go with this. I used to be different, I used to be strong, I know I was. I know that before I wouldn't let this shit fly. But it makes it so much harder being that he is my sons father. I never thought this would happen in my life. You know how some of us have been "That will never be me" then it happens. I was like that, now it's happened and I just feel like the dumbest p***e o* s**t. I should leave I really should. I hope to muster up the courage. I need to get my shit together. Thank you ladies. You made me feel like I can count on someone to come to with this. I don't feel as alone. It still hurts of course but I feel like I can breathe more thinking about leaving.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
4th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" I stay because I still love him so much. The latest thing is he keeps searching and searching for his ... [snip!] ... happen again just so I can say "Alright this time was enough I'm leaving" but I never have the strength to. I feel so stupid."</blockquote>




You love him?



Or do you love who you think he's capable of being?



What you described feeling dies seem like someone who is "in love".

Jane.Doe. Fukushima, Japan 2805 posts
4th Feb '13
Quoting BG Secrets:" Since he now deletes all of them"


That is just proof of guilt honestly. He knows he is doing something he shouldn't and is hiding that by deleting them all

BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
4th Feb '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" I stay because I still love him so much. The ... [snip!] ... him? Or do you love who you think he's capable of being? What you described feeling dies seem like someone who is "in love"."

I think this is it. No ones told me that. I think I am in love with who he's capable of being. Thank you. I have a lot to think about now.