When I was about 12 years old I was told that I had HPV. I had gotten when I was raped around 11 years old.
When the doctor told me that I had it... it was all kind of like a blur. I don't remember much of anything she told me. All I remember was I was being told that I could possibly get cervical cancer. And my mind and ears kind of like shut down. And everything else that was sad was a blur.
I have the high risk HPV, not the warts. I had my cervix froze, I had a biopsy done. I was put through a lot of shit at such a young age over this stupid crap.
I found a wart on my arm about a year ago. And I've tried getting it to go away and it just won't. So I started googling and google kept telling me it was because of my HPV. So I of course started freaking out and the next day I called my doctor hysterical thinking I was going to get warts down there...
She calmed me down and told me it was unlikely with the strain of HPV that I have.
I haven't had a pap since I was pregnant with my daughter(she'll be 5 this year)... it came back normal. Oh and then I had one at my 6pp and it came back abnormal. I got scared and I threw the letter away that they mailed to me saying I need to come back in. And I never went back in.
I was stupid, so freaking stupid for not going back in. What if I have cervical cancer? What if this wart is actually something really bad?
I go in next Thursday for my pap. It's all I can think about, I've cried about it... I'm crying now. I know HPV is dangerous, but I don't know HOW dangerous or what is even going on with my body.
Because like I said when I was told about my HPV, I was young and scared and it was a blur.
I choose not to Google it, because google freaks me out when it comes to medical information.
I'm scared, my SO is trying to be supportive. But I don't think he fully understands. Plus I put on a act like I'm not scared.
I could call my mom and cry and vent. But she has enough problems. I don't want to worry her with mine.
Part of me just wants to chicken out and not go to the doctor. But I know I NEED to.
I'm scared it's gonna come back abnormal again. And I'm gonna have to go through all the BS I went through when I first found out.
Just remember if they do have to do it, it is much better that they do it and know for sure!! Early detection literally saves lives, and you have a beautiful little girl who needs you around, so just keep remembering that you are doing this for her, to make sure you are around for her, and that should help out a lot :) Good luck honey, I hope everything comes up f**king daisies this round!
Wow....my heart broke for you as I read this :( I am so sorry that you are going through all this, and I will definitely be praying for you. Hang in there mama! It may look bleak right now, but there is ALWAYS hope.
Alot of people in the world have HPV it is estimated that 50% of the population is infected with some strain of HPV.
and although yes, it is something to be worried about, it could also just lay dorment and not bother you at all.
There are many different strains as im sure you are aware of.
When I was pregnant with my daughter, they did the test and it came back positive for me, But with my last pregnancy, and this one, both came back negative.
Alot of times paps can come back abnormal for alot of different reasons, It could just be a yeast infection, for some other kind of infections.
it takes years for abnormal HPV cells to become cancer, and knowing your history with it, I would make sure to get checked yearly that way they can catch the abnormal cells, before the become cancerous