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Potty Training Difficulty, almost 4 yrs Caddy ÷ nwark, NJ, United States 9325 posts
7th Feb '13

My son will be 4 in June, so he's a little over 3.5



He is still not Potty trained and I'm at my wits end, I've tried the charts and prizes, I've tried just letting him go at his own pace...



He refuses to even sit on the toilet for me 90% of the time...



My question is should I force him? Should I take away his toys or punish him if he refuses to try and sit on it at this point???



He just wont go sit on the toilet to even try...



The only way I could actually get him to go sit for a minute is if I take away toys etc.



But everything I've ever read says to let them do it at their own pace and such... so should I force him?



... help :cry:

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14181 posts
7th Feb '13

Have you tried just putting underwear on him?



I understand the aggravation. DS will be 4 in APRIL and still poops in his pants. Sometimes he'll go on the potty.....for like a whole week and then he'll poop his pants. I don't know anymore either lol.

Dawnmarie Naughton 7 kids; Mastic Beach, New York 456 posts
7th Feb '13

had to have mine run around naked he turned 4 in november and was still in diapers while i brought my new born home 2 weeks of that and he was trained compleatly even over night my daughter who turned 3 in november trained right with him except she still needs pull ups at night

Caddy ÷ nwark, NJ, United States 9325 posts
7th Feb '13
Quoting Supafly★:" Have you tried just putting underwear on him? I understand the aggravation. DS will be 4 in APRIL and ... [snip!] ... Sometimes he'll go on the potty.....for like a whole week and then he'll poop his pants. I don't know anymore either lol. "



I just put underwear on him, he screamed bloody murder for a half hour then ripped them off and screamed and he's sitting on the couch naked now... still crying and pouting about wanting a diaper.
My neighbors are going to think I was murdering him with the way he screams about using underwear or sitting on the potty :(

TheyCallMeMOMMY♥ 3 kids; Albuquerque, New Mexico 6825 posts
7th Feb '13
Quoting SansBraceFace:" I just put underwear on him, he screamed bloody murder for a half hour then ripped them off and screamed ... [snip!] ... My neighbors are going to think I was murdering him with the way he screams about using underwear or sitting on the potty :("

Id keep up with the underware, dont give him the option of diapers. He will know if he pouts enough you will give in and give him a diaper. As far as your neighbors, If they say anything just tell them whats going on. If the cops show up, tell them. Your not harming your child, your helping him.



My son HATED to have his diaper changed and it was such a pain in the ass everytime. I finally started telling him "if you dont like to get your diaper changed DONT go potty in your pants." After that he started to actually take himself to the bathroom, strip his diaper off and go. Come back to where I was and give me the diaper and say "put it on" lol. After a few weeks of this I let him pick his own underware out and told him no more diapers! hes done good ever since. With a few accidents at night.

Caddy ÷ nwark, NJ, United States 9325 posts
7th Feb '13
Quoting TheyCallMeMOMMY♥:" Id keep up with the underware, dont give him the option of diapers. He will know if he pouts enough you ... [snip!] ... I let him pick his own underware out and told him no more diapers! hes done good ever since. With a few accidents at night. "


I wish, my son doesn't mind having his diaper changed at all :( he wants to wear them.

TheyCallMeMOMMY♥ 3 kids; Albuquerque, New Mexico 6825 posts
7th Feb '13
Quoting SansBraceFace:" I wish, my son doesn't mind having his diaper changed at all :( he wants to wear them."


:( thats hard, but you have to be strong for him. Dont give in, I know you hate to see your kids upset but this is a good thing for him. Have you taken him to buy underware?

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14181 posts
7th Feb '13
Quoting SansBraceFace:" I wish, my son doesn't mind having his diaper changed at all :( he wants to wear them."


Maybe make a big show of throwing them out because he's a "big boy"? Does he have any kids his age he knows? You talk about how ___ is a big boy/girl and goes on the potty. You're a big boy too so..... you know, that type of stuff. Also did you try letting him pick out the underwear?

Caddy ÷ nwark, NJ, United States 9325 posts
7th Feb '13
Quoting Supafly★:" Maybe make a big show of throwing them out because he's a "big boy"? Does he have any kids his age ... [snip!] ... on the potty. You're a big boy too so..... you know, that type of stuff. Also did you try letting him pick out the underwear? "



Yup tried all that, he's got new Ninja Turtle underwear I let him pick out, he was excited at the store, but now that we are home he screamed bloody murder trying to get them on and screamed until he ripped them off a half hour later.



And i try the "So and So is a big girl she uses the potty, they don't wear diapers." etc.
He's told me he doesn't care he wants to wear his diapers.



I've tried telling him they wont let him in school if he wears diapers... still he says he doesn't care.

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14181 posts
7th Feb '13
Quoting SansBraceFace:" Yup tried all that, he's got new Ninja Turtle underwear I let him pick out, he was excited at the ... [snip!] ... to wear his diapers. I've tried telling him they wont let him in school if he wears diapers... still he says he doesn't care."


A sticker chart or toy or visit to the park doesn't work? I can't think of anything else besides just waiting until he wants to. But you're right they won't let him in school if he's not PT"d.



I'm kind of freaking out about the preschool thing myself. DS likes using the potty and underwear but he has a delay so it takes him awhile to catch on to things.

Caddy ÷ nwark, NJ, United States 9325 posts
7th Feb '13
Quoting Supafly★:" A sticker chart or toy or visit to the park doesn't work? I can't think of anything else besides just ... [snip!] ... thing myself. DS likes using the potty and underwear but he has a delay so it takes him awhile to catch on to things. "


Yeah, tried the sticker chart... told him if he filled up one chart he could go to the store and pick out a new toy... his response? "No, I already have toys."

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14181 posts
7th Feb '13
Quoting SansBraceFace:" Yeah, tried the sticker chart... told him if he filled up one chart he could go to the store and pick out a new toy... his response? "No, I already have toys.""


Is there anything he really likes to do? Play at the park, watch movies, visit a relative, ect?

SubLowe 1 child; Oceanside, California 15389 posts
7th Feb '13

I have no advice just want to say my Nephew wasnt potty trained until around 4 years old, and a lot of boys that come to Nikas Gymnastics are still in Diapers and that class is for 3 up year olds . so you are not alone :)

Tanalyn Due March 9 (girl); Japan 2 posts
7th Feb '13

I let my 2 1/2 yr old start running around naked at 1 1/2, by the time he turned two he was a pro at it. We still have some difficulty with him not liking to poop on the toilet but other than that he's got it. Also if your child is almost 4 try using strictly underwear at that age he or she won't like the feeling of being soiled after an accident. They notice the difference between undies and pull ups. Good luck!

Caddy ÷ nwark, NJ, United States 9325 posts
7th Feb '13
Quoting Tanalyn:" I let my 2 1/2 yr old start running around naked at 1 1/2, by the time he turned two he was a pro at ... [snip!] ... won't like the feeling of being soiled after an accident. They notice the difference between undies and pull ups. Good luck!"


He wont wear the underwear, that's the problem. It's a fight to get it on him, he will scream bloody murder until he eventually tears them off himself. Every single time.