~Buck Dich~ 1 child; Japan 1 posts9th Feb '13
1st of all sorry for posting on a probably dead post...But i can speak from experience at the age of 14 i became pregnant not on purpose of course i was just being careless and dumb. I didn't want to tell my parents because i was ashamed and knew how they would react, I was their only daughter their oldest child they expected more from me. So i stupidly tried to pretend it wasn't happening refused to eat properly in case it made me gain more weight, trying to hold my stomach in...I somehow managed to keep this up for 7 months. Now that i'm older i'm so ashamed at how stupid i was my mother was not supportive and had a drink problem so i couldn't tell her i would instead just lock myself in my bedroom and refuse to go to school. I didn't know about pre-natals or stillbirth i was too scared to tell anyone nor did i have access to a computer i stupidly thought everything would go away..it didn't obviously. my son luckily was born healthy 9lb7oz...I didn't even realise what was happening i was too immature to breastfeed i couldn't buy him clothes or diapers or anything he needed (people who say all babies need are love live on cloud cuckoo) the few days i had in hospital were actually great the changing and feeding came natural, But as soon as i got home my mom wouldn't let me do a thing acting like he was her child it broke my heart. Luckily at 16 i moved out with my son but gone were the going out and prom and just even going out on my own. I don't care what anyone says 15 is not a good age to have a baby you can't provide for it, you are NOT an adult, You lose all freedom...don't get me wrong I LOVE MY SON but at 15 if i'd of had the support and someone to talk to or even you ladies suggesting abortion and giving me advice that would of been for my own good my life would be very different, And go ahead judge me lol i don't give a f**k i was young and stupid and yes i do sit here and judge girls who purposely get pregnant at a young age because why would anyone want that kind of responsibility so young. I'm 20 now and my boy is 5 he's very smart, i work my butt off to try and give him the best life i can but if i ever have a daughter she will be warned about getting pregnant young and if it happens i would guide her towards abortion because i would want her to have a better life than i did.
Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55982 posts9th Feb '13
Quoting ♥ axel sean n me:" i agree with most of what your saying but tbh i lost my virginity at just 14 it wasnt my parents fault ... [snip!] ... wanted a child. i think sometimes its sometimes out of the parents control if their child losing there virginity young."
I lost mine at that age as well. I can tell you as a parent, it was due to a lack of parental involvement. If my parents were more open with me about sex and had more conversations about respecting myself and waiting to find the guy who respected me enough to wait rather than the "don't do it or else" speech, I probably would have waited. I didn't have any respect for myself. I didn't think I was worth anything to anyone. When I got attention from a guy, I ran with it. I wasn't a wh**e by any means. I had the same 3 boyfriends all thru high school. Mostly 1 but when he would off and cheat on me, I would date one of the others. I couldn't be alone. I wasn't validated unless I was dating someone. Oddly enough, I wasn't sleeping with the one who kept cheating on me. I guess I had a little respect some where in the pits.
Anyway, as a mother and watching my daughters and seeing them grow into beautiful young ladies I know how important this conversation is. It isn't a one time shot. It is a relationship that I have to build with them NOW and keep strong so that they feel they can always come to me and not fear me. Not just a fear of punishment. Kids fear dissapointing their parents at a young age. If they get that vibe they are reluctant to tell you that they have made a mistake and that is when the secrets start. If you felt you had a better relationship with your mother, do you think you would have lied to her? I didn't lie to my mom. She was never around. My dad traveled with work and my mom was too busy doing her own thing to pay attention. She never bothered to ask.
My older sister was responsible and got on the pill. My mother made her throw them away and told her to stop having sex. That sent the message that I couldn't go to her when I hit that point. Want to guess what happened? My sister was pregnant before she graduated high school her senior year. Guess what else? So was I. Her and I were pregnant at the same time. She kept my nephew and married my now ex brother in law. I made the decision to get an abortion. I was 16 she was 17 and turned 18 the day she graduated. Smartest decision I could have made for the stupid situation I put myself in. Because my sister got caught with the pills, I opted to go on the shot. Took responsibility to make sure it didn't happen again. However, I know that neither of us would have been in that situation had we been given an open door to speak with our parents. When I was younger, I thought like you. As I got older, I realized my mothers mistakes and decided I had to not repeat them if I wanted different results for my daughters and my son. Kids don't come with a manual. We are lucky to have BG. My mom didn't have a cordless phone or cable (yes, I am that old). All we can do is try to learn from others mistakes and improve on them. Hopefully each generation gets better.
♥ The Prodigy Due March 3; 33 kids; Perth, Australia 5613 posts9th Feb '13
Quoting Not tellin:" I lost mine at that age as well. I can tell you as a parent, it was due to a lack of parental involvement. ... [snip!] ... I am that old). All we can do is try to learn from others mistakes and improve on them. Hopefully each generation gets better. "..............................................................
with my son i am going to tell him about sex and when he does lose his virginty, i will make sure he has and uses the proper protection. i do not want him becoming a teen dad.
what age will you talk to your kids about sex? its really scary thinking about it.