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Fustercluck Due August 19 (boy); 2 kids; Manitoba 4460 posts
9th Feb '13
Quoting Subtle As A Hurricane:" Try talking to her about what is going on, what is causing her to cut. I've gone through depression and ... [snip!] ... gone through depression and cutting before. I found that having someone that I could talk to and trust was the most helpful. "


Thank you, thats good to know

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
9th Feb '13
Quoting bbbt:" Well for the sake of the argument, smoking scars your lungs. Look, I'm not saying it's advisable to ... [snip!] ... cut myself as a teenager and I was NOT trying to kill myself- it was just something that helped calm me down after a long day. "


People smoke because it's medically addictive.



People generally cut as self punishment or to release a physical pain to release an emotional problem. Not getting rid of the depression and conditioning themselves that pain and punishment go hand in hand. It's not a good idea.

Dovahkiin 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 16776 posts
9th Feb '13
Quoting Baking Colt or Elodie:" No, but it doesn't mean that she wouldnt. I dont see anything harmless about her cutting herself.. and im not going to overlook it like everyone else she's told"


I'm not saying to overlook it, but if it's a habit of hers, medication is really not going to help. Only way to break a habit is therapy... or replacing it with another habit (that's hopefully not as harmful).

Dovahkiin 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 16776 posts
9th Feb '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" People smoke because it's medically addictive. People generally cut as self punishment or to release ... [snip!] ... Not getting rid of the depression and conditioning themselves that pain and punishment go hand in hand. It's not a good idea. "


Actually, cutting can become very addictive. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm

Fustercluck Due August 19 (boy); 2 kids; Manitoba 4460 posts
9th Feb '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" Have you thoughts about putting her in a teen support group? It might be easier for her to talk to people around her age srtuggling with the same problems. "


There is nothing at all like that where we live.. we're kind of in a middle of nowhere country town. But I definitely could look into online support groups!

Dovahkiin 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 16776 posts
9th Feb '13
Quoting bbbt:" Actually, cutting can become very addictive. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm"


But I don't want to turn OP's thread into a debate about the addictiveness of cutting, so let's drop it, k?

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
9th Feb '13
Quoting bbbt:" Actually, cutting can become very addictive. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm"



Absolutely psychologically, which means that she has a psychologically addictive personality which she needs to educate herself on. And using inflicting harm as a way to cope is not healthy.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
9th Feb '13
Quoting Baking Colt or Elodie:" There is nothing at all like that where we live.. we're kind of in a middle of nowhere country town. But I definitely could look into online support groups!"


Online will do nothing.



She needs physical people that she can talk to. You don't know what programs there are until you look. I guarantee you there are plenty.

Dovahkiin 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 16776 posts
9th Feb '13
Quoting Baking Colt or Elodie:" There is nothing at all like that where we live.. we're kind of in a middle of nowhere country town. But I definitely could look into online support groups!"


How far is the nearest city? Any way she could take a bus down there once a week or so?

Subtle As A Hurricane 2 kids; Texas 4126 posts
9th Feb '13
Quoting Baking Colt or Elodie:" Thank you, thats good to know"


I was also about her age. I didn't have many friends for a variety of reasons, and almost all of them turned on me. The guy I had been dating on and off for a while cheated on me with someone that was supposed to be a friend. I had a lot of pain and anger, but no way to express it. Once I found people I could trust, talk, vent, etc. to, it stopped. My parents and the school were never involved with it, either.



I know everyone is different, but a lot of what you said reminded me of what I went though.

Little Richard's mommie! Due July 12 (boy); 1 child; Seneca, South Carolina 4430 posts
9th Feb '13
Quoting bbbt:" When she cuts is she trying to kill herself? "


I wouldn't think so, just from what I read. I used to cut myself for years...I now am ashamed I ever did. But it was all I could do to calm myself, and deal with the pain, or taking anger out. The only way to know if she really is having thoughts about suicide is asking her. Plus if she is cutting from side to side most of the time it's a no, but if she is cutting down the middle trying to hit a vein that may be a yes.



OP I was 12 the first time I thought about it. I was 13 when I finally did cut myself. I went for 4 years...and finally one day I realized it wasn't the best thing for me. It was my reliever for years, and I was in DSS custody, and they threatened if I didn't stopped I would be headed straight for a psych ward, but I didn't care. I was so miserable and unhappy and the only way to make it "better" or so I thought, at the time was the cut myself and see the blood. It was the only thing I could do to know I wasn't imagining how unhappy I was. I never was medicated, so therefore meds may not even be the answer. You are doing the right thing somewhat as far as letting her know you will always be there for her. Support is one thing a lot of kids who cut themselves are lacking. Support and be there for her as much as you can. Spend time with her as much as you can (when you are able to take time away from life to do so), and find out what is going on. Let her know it's okay to find new friends, (that was part of my problem was I didn't have support and I was around the wrong group of friends. Don't go to the school right now or at least I wouldn't. If they had done that to me I would have been pissed that I felt like I could trust them and then they betrayed me. That is just my opinion. Then well, really look for the root of the problem and figure out what is going on. I know some don't understand what it is that makes a child want to cut themselves, and unless you've done it, or had that problem I don't feel like a person will truly understand. I know it hurts knowing she is doing it, but the first step is being there for her, and you are doing that. Oh and keep letting her know she is beautiful :) and remind her that later on in life those scars will always be there (if she cut deep enough to have scars, I myself only have a few because I tried to cut deep enough for them to bleed but light enough so it would heal fast so I wouldn't get caught. Is there any certain thing you know of that could be causing this specifically?