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Kimmy Gibbler 2 kids; Grapevine, Texas 8039 posts
10th Feb '13
Quoting P Pickle Pants:" I've been with my hubs over 11 years and I'm 28. When I'm not pregnant we have sex 3-5 times a month ... [snip!] ... I'm the one with the really high sex drive in our relationship. Your hubs is an ASS for saying he'd go get it elsewhere!"


We just started having sex again since the doctor gave me the go-ahead. Before that, I would tell DH that I was sorry that we weren't having sex, and I felt like I was unable to meet his needs, etc. He told me that since we haven't had sex, we've been focusing a lot on our relationship and he actually feels MORE intimate with me... he doesn't feel like he's lacking anything.



OP- there are other ways to be intimate. And in my personal experience as a woman, typically if I have no sex drive it's because my husband isn't meeting my needs. He's not making me feel secure, loved, cherished, sexy, etc during the day, so I'm not interested in sex when my needs aren't met. Tell your husband that men are like a microwave... ready to go at all times. Women are like an oven... we need to be pre-heated.

Sofie+#2 Due March 17; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7382 posts
10th Feb '13

My SO is the same, OP. I'm coming off of hormonal BC next week because for the last 2 years I've been a constant megabitch with zero sex drive and it's putting strain on everything.
I think for my SO, we're only 18, he sees his colleagues and friends who are with people a similar age and they're getting some every night at least. I try telling him that they don't have kids so it's different, but it does suck being this young and have no libido. My SO feels like I don't find him attractive (he has gained a lot of weight since we met), but I do, I just can't get excited about sex.

Nicole:) 2 kids; Texas 473 posts
10th Feb '13

He's a good guy and takes care of us good, pays all the bills, works very hard, helps with the kids. He says the least I can do is be more up for sex he says he works so hard for us and gets nothingnothing in return.

MommaNoodle 2 kids; Pennsylvania 13115 posts
10th Feb '13
Quoting Nicole:):" He's a good guy and takes care of us good, pays all the bills, works very hard, helps with the kids. ... [snip!] ... the kids. He says the least I can do is be more up for sex he says he works so hard for us and gets nothingnothing in return."


sex =/= reward for working.....

Kimmy Gibbler 2 kids; Grapevine, Texas 8039 posts
10th Feb '13
Quoting MommaNoodle:" sex =/= reward for working....."


Nope. There is a name for trading sex for monetary support. It's called prostitution. Lol.

Turtley Mikey Due October 31; 2 kids; California 50611 posts
10th Feb '13
Quoting Nicole:):" He's a good guy and takes care of us good, pays all the bills, works very hard, helps with the kids. ... [snip!] ... the kids. He says the least I can do is be more up for sex he says he works so hard for us and gets nothingnothing in return."


Being a provider is no excuse for threatening accusations and hurtful comments, just know that.

Whitney*JAS*BMM* 2 kids; Texas City, Texas 12660 posts
10th Feb '13
Quoting Nicole:):" He's a good guy and takes care of us good, pays all the bills, works very hard, helps with the kids. ... [snip!] ... the kids. He says the least I can do is be more up for sex he says he works so hard for us and gets nothingnothing in return."


what!? is he delusional. Him getting sex is not a reward for being a huband and father. He doesn't deserve sex just because he provides for you. I would slap my DH if he ever told me that.