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I would have held my baby today.... mommabomma Due November 8; Durban, South Africa 22 posts
10th Feb '13

I still cant believe it. It feels like years ago, but my EDD was 9/02/2013 which means it was mere months ago that I lost my baby.



How is it that I cannot get over this heartache. I keep telling myself I wasn't that far along only approx 9 weeks, I didn't have the time most others have to bond, my loss is far less than some others here on this forum, but yet I cant shake it, my brain cannot over-ride my heart!



My baby would have been born yesterday, was my angel going to be a girl? or a boy?, would he/she have looked like me or daddy?



I will never forget the day I found out I was pregnant, this instant smile came over me, I smiled like an idiot to myself, no one around, just sheer happiness, like no other I've experienced before. all I could do was thank God! I prayed everynight for my little angel from that first night. But it wasn't meant to be. Why? How did this happen to me?



And people don't understand, they dont know how this never goes away, that no matter that its been more than 6 months and the loss is as real today as it was that first day i came home empty, physically and emotionally!



its strange how after time passes we forget things, like sensations, feelings etc, but this, I can still remember every detail, how it felt to be pregnant, how my body started to change and then the pain as it all ended.



Look everyday is not a bad one, most of the time I am great, and yes as the months pass, there are days I don't think about my angel baby, but they are far and few in between.



/We have been trying, with no luck to fall pregnant again. I feel like my time is running out, and that maybe that was my last and only chance....no I know this is silly, but its a fear, and fears aren't rational.



I just don't know anymore.

Super Mommy! Due July 31 (girl); 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Costa Mesa, CA, United States 12503 posts
10th Feb '13

I know it's hard, but try not to let it consume you. Have you thought about using OPK's? I can assure you it does get better with time.

mommabomma Due November 8; Durban, South Africa 22 posts
10th Feb '13

ovulation prediction kits? Yes have tried them once before, but we didn't fall pregnant that time.



I know it might be time to see the doc, but I always come up with an excuse not to go, think I am just not ready to go back there again. Too many bad memories.

Super Mommy! Due July 31 (girl); 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Costa Mesa, CA, United States 12503 posts
11th Feb '13

Try OPK's again and give it 3-6 months to see if you are even ovulating. Or try BBT. The average healthy couple only has a 20% chance of conceiving every month. If its been over a year of actively trying with no success, then make an appointment with your doctor.

κατι 1 child; Memphis, Tennessee 3143 posts
11th Feb '13

So sorry for your loss!

mommabomma Due November 8; Durban, South Africa 22 posts
3rd Mar '13

OMW!! Ladies, cnt believe it and it may be early days, but found out yesterday that I am pregnant!! And it looks to be more than 5 weeks pregant! Please keep us in your prayers!! thank you so so so much for all the support!!

MamaTiffy[38-weeks] Due August 2 (girl); 2 kids; Sunnyvale, CA, United States 8736 posts
8th Mar '13
Quoting mommabomma:" OMW!! Ladies, cnt believe it and it may be early days, but found out yesterday that I am pregnant!! And ... [snip!] ... And it looks to be more than 5 weeks pregant! Please keep us in your prayers!! thank you so so so much for all the support!!"


Praying for an easy pregnancy and healthy lil baby :) Congrats and best of luck