Im serious if you ever need anything feel free to pm or whatever. Im usually around and my heartbreaks when I think of what you are going through basically alone.
Are you on any kind of an anti depressant? Do you have anyone you can go to who understands? I hate when people act like its all in your head and something you can control but choose not to. Like I want to walk around feeling like im ready to jump in front of a car at any point. You have already taken a huge step which is acknowledging there is a problem. I really hope you can find some good support. Talk to your doctor or therapist maybe they can recommend a support group. Do you have someone to call for those really bad moments?
Quoting Jennybananna:" "
No I don't have insurance so I can't even get in to see a doctor at this point. And no I don't have anyone to call. There are several times a day I wish i did. But I don't/