I had my eldest as a teen,. and I advocate that women wait until they have a completed education,. job skills & experience, experience living on ones's own and managing a household, and a stable marriage/long-term relationship, as well as a stable income that is sufficient to meet the needs of a family.
I dont go around knocking on teen moms though. I am sure that,. like me,. they will do the best they can and love being a Mother, albeit struggle a lot harder than someone who is more prepared,. older,. & stable. I know some women my age who suck at parenting and are not stable at ALL (unfortunately i wish i did not know these women),...and a teen mom could run circles around them. I dont judge them i wish them the best,.
Quoting Supafly★:" I had my son at 19 and I was treated like an adult through the whole process. I would not have been pleased if they put me in the same category as 16 and 17 year olds. "
Lol, that really has nothing to do with my post. Doctors should not, ethically, treat their patients different because of age. I was considered a teen mother in the computer, I wasn't treated differently. The reason I was in that category was for insurance purposes since my prenatal care and delivery was 100% covered due to me being a teen.
<blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" I had my son at 19 and I was treated like an adult through the whole process. I would not have been pleased if they put me in the same category as 16 and 17 year olds. "</blockquote>
I got pregnant at 19 and had my son at 20. I worked two jobs until I got a good full-time position. My parents did allow us to stay at their home because I was put on bed rest the last 8 weeks of my pregnancy, so I had gone through all of my savings on baby stuff and medical bills. But they didn't take care of my child. I was his mother and I was an adult. Now, my sister had her oldest at 20 and they did everything for her, let her go out and party all the time, and she was pregnant again two years later. I think the difference in treatment made a big difference in our life choices.
Quoting LEGENDARY JAS ♥:" Lol, that really has nothing to do with my post. Doctors should not, ethically, treat their patients ... [snip!] ... I was in that category was for insurance purposes since my prenatal care and delivery was 100% covered due to me being a teen."
I really wouldn't expect a doctor or midwife to do anything other than what they usually do with your body during a pregnancy. That's her job.
All you said was "teen pregnancy category" so I didn't know what you meant. In my clinic we had an interview with a social worker in the beginning of pregnancy. She didn't say or ask me anything that made me feel like a teenager.
Quoting Bangtail:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" I had my son at 19 and I was treated ... [snip!] ... and she was pregnant again two years later. I think the difference in treatment made a big difference in our life choices."
It may have. When I got pregnant at 18 I had been on my own for over a year already. I worked and went to school and got on Medicaid. After I finished school I moved in with my now DH. Honestly if DH hadn't stepped up to the plate I'd probably be living with my mother[although I wouldn't have had DS2 then so who knows].
You were probably much smarter about not having another than your sister was since you had the full experience of taking care of a child and she didn't.
Quoting Carter&Violet♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Back to Noob Status:</b>" Of all people, a teen mom should be ... [snip!] ... same. For those teens they haven't been smacked with reality & they're still out partying, etc. so it is very easy for them."
I guess I should have rephrased my post. All teen moms who parent their kids should be the ones who disapprove of teen pregnancy the most. Teen "parents" who dump their kids off to grandma obviously would think being a parent is easy.
I got pregnant with DD1 at 17, had her at 18. I started having sex at 16. I don't approve of teen sex. As in, I would never be okay accepting my child was sexually active as a teenager. I've been so there I know it's not easy. And I would not want their teen years to be more difficult than they have to be. I don't really care if anyone thinks I'm a hypocrite for it.
Quoting Supafly★:" She's going to do it behind your back. A more effective way of preventing her from pregnancy would be letting her come to you and providing her with birth control. "
You don't know what my child will do.
Quoting Supafly★:" No I don't, neither do you. That's not a very realistic approach. "
You're right about that. I just have to trust my kids and if they specifically come and ask for BC, we will have to talk and I'll have to think long and hard about it.
Quoting Lady GooGoo
Quoting Amelia Margaret:" It's likely they won't want to come to you for BC then. :? I understand that you want your daughter ... [snip!] ... abstinent but her situation's going to be a lot worse if she chooses not to be and doesn't have access to good birth control."
Call me old school. But I definitely think if I just put her on it, without any sign that she is or is thinking about doing it, I take that as giving her the "okay" to do it. I know that's how I took it when I was a teen. I did have sex with my bf twice before telling my mom and then she made me get BC, but her putting me on it said to me that I can do it all I want and she's cool with it. I'll never act like I'm okay with it when I'm not. I understand not every one would agree with me, but I also know not every teen is destined to have sex as a teen/in high school, and I don't want to do anything that may push them to have sex just because they know there's one less possible consequence.
i was a teen mom & i discourage it to people even MY age who dont have their shit together.