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Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36477 posts
12th Feb '13

I would file. If you have any plans on getting any medicaid, foodstamps or whatever, they would go for CS anyways. Like Batman said, CS and custody are 2 different things. They arent going to have the baby fly back and forth especially now or in any time in the next year.



You have to pick and choose your battles.

BeginTheRomance Due July 21 (girl); 1 child; Rochester, New York 373 posts
12th Feb '13
Quoting BαƚMαɳ:" Just because he pays, does not automatically guarantee him visitation rights. Those are two separate ... [snip!] ... even starts. Once paternity is established, all it takes is a court order and he can put himself on the birth certificate."


I understand what you're saying.
It depends on how bad he wants to prove that the baby is his. Some don't even bother with finding out where others will do whatever it takes. Although they ARE two separate cases in court, they usually go hand in hand at the end.

Leigha Jai 1 child; Kalamazoo, Michigan 41 posts
12th Feb '13
Quoting BαƚMαɳ:" Well if he pays, he deserves to see his child."


after everythign that has happen i do not agree with this at all.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36477 posts
12th Feb '13
Quoting Leigha Jai:" after everythign that has happen i do not agree with this at all. "



All I have seen is that he hasnt been there during the pregnancy and saying that the baby isnt his. And honestly, that isnt much. you know the baby is his. And he has every right to get a dna test and every right to have shared custody of that baby as much as you do.

BαtMαɳ Secret Bat Cave, FK, Oman 62926 posts
status 12th Feb '13
Quoting Yurvette [♥]:" All I have seen is that he hasnt been there during the pregnancy and saying that the baby isnt his. ... [snip!] ... baby is his. And he has every right to get a dna test and every right to have shared custody of that baby as much as you do. "


EXACTLY. And just because someone treats you and your pregnancy like whatever, doesn't mean he will do the same once his baby is here. I am a firm believer than every man deserves the chance to be a father (as long as he isn't abusive or addicted to drugs). If you try and take the chance away at the beginning you are most likely setting yourself up for a world of hurt at some point in your childs life.

BeginTheRomance Due July 21 (girl); 1 child; Rochester, New York 373 posts
12th Feb '13
Quoting BαƚMαɳ:" EXACTLY. And just because someone treats you and your pregnancy like whatever, doesn't mean he will ... [snip!] ... the chance away at the beginning you are most likely setting yourself up for a world of hurt at some point in your childs life."


I also agree with this.
My situation was WAY more intense than this one. If a man wants to be a father, by all means I think they do deserve a chance.

BeginTheRomance Due July 21 (girl); 1 child; Rochester, New York 373 posts
12th Feb '13



Double Post. :(

BαtMαɳ Secret Bat Cave, FK, Oman 62926 posts
status 12th Feb '13
Quoting Leigha Jai:" after everythign that has happen i do not agree with this at all. "


There comes a point where you need to stop being selfish and stop holding what he did to YOU against him when it comes to his child. My BD cheated on me and treated me like SHIT, but he is an amazing father to my son. Give him a chance.



the worst that happens is he is a shitty father and later on you can at least tell your child that you gave him that chance and HE fucked it up.

DeanJade&Mak's Mom 3 kids; Covina, CA, United States 8822 posts
12th Feb '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Leigha Jai:</b>" me and the baby father were engaged and this baby was planned it was like it was a non planned pregnancy ... [snip!] ... and he said he make a mistake and cant handle the stress affter we already got pregnant and decided to go though with it. "</blockquote>




I'm married and wanted more kids, till I got pregnant... lol people can change their minds... if u got preg and changed ur mind nobody should badger u if u want an abortion, but because he's the male and he did the ejaculating, people shake their fingers at them...



I didn't want to share my son, I got 3 months of welfare when I had the baby because he was in nicu for 2 months, I didn't know the county would go after him, they filed child support on my behalf to get their 1500. Back and establish support for my son...
He got served and it said it was on my behalf to him it was me asking for it, he denyed, and ran, they took his licsence away, county asked
for dna test, he was the father and he had to pay back money...



Went to court without properly serving me with dna test because he wasn't/isn't even on birth cert. And got full xustody showed up to my house with cops and took dean for 6 weeks, costed me 7,500. To get back into court and get dean back.



We have 50/50 custody and I get no child support, if u don't want to deal with him don't say anything and take care of ur baby
If u want child support, I'm positive once dna is established he will want to be involved wether its a genuwine want that he has to be babys father, or to get back at u...



My ex did it to get back at me... 3 years later he is finally being a good father because he wants to...

Landon & Harper*25 weeks* Due November 7 (girl); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Illinois 1095 posts
12th Feb '13
Quoting BαƚMαɳ:" Well if he pays, he deserves to see his child."


Yes, some do but not all. Once child support goes through your job, you have no choice. But that doesn't mean they are good fathers because they are court ordered to pay child support.

BαtMαɳ Secret Bat Cave, FK, Oman 62926 posts
status 12th Feb '13
Quoting Tori♥Landon!:" Yes, some do but not all. Once child support goes through your job, you have no choice. But that doesn't mean they are good fathers because they are court ordered to pay child support."


Never said he would be. But he definitely deserves the chance to be. The way he treats you is not always a reflection on how he will treat his child.

Landon & Harper*25 weeks* Due November 7 (girl); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Illinois 1095 posts
12th Feb '13
Quoting BαƚMαɳ:" Never said he would be. But he definitely deserves the chance to be. The way he treats you is not always a reflection on how he will treat his child."


Very true.

Leigha Jai 1 child; Kalamazoo, Michigan 41 posts
12th Feb '13

or all how thinks im being selfish for not wanting him in my sons life dont understand my reasons, i know how he is with his first son, i have my reason so if u feel like insulting me dont post, i asked for advice and not to get insulted and be called selfish.

BαtMαɳ Secret Bat Cave, FK, Oman 62926 posts
status 12th Feb '13
Quoting Leigha Jai:" or all how thinks im being selfish for not wanting him in my sons life dont understand my reasons, i ... [snip!] ... i have my reason so if u feel like insulting me dont post, i asked for advice and not to get insulted and be called selfish. "


CHILL. That was advice, whether you wanted to hear it or not.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36477 posts
12th Feb '13
Quoting Leigha Jai:" or all how thinks im being selfish for not wanting him in my sons life dont understand my reasons, i ... [snip!] ... i have my reason so if u feel like insulting me dont post, i asked for advice and not to get insulted and be called selfish. "


We were giving advice... and I think you should try, so you can tell your son that you tried instead of pushing him out completely because of how he is with his other son.